6.5 month second baby not sleeping well

[archie282]

Help! It’s a long one please bare with!

My first baby slept from 8pm-9/10am with only one feed through the night at 4/5am from around 6 weeks, of course this would change during growth spurts/teething or illness but it would really only be one/two additional wakes and would last a couple of weeks each time at the most. I did feel very ‘lucky’ but she also had a good bedtime routine and was swaddled which I felt had contributed.

Baby number two arrived to blow that theory out the water, from birth she was less ‘sleepy’ with shorter day naps and several night wakes, I didn’t bother at first as I knew all babies were different and she maybe preferred less milk more often, I kept sane by thinking ‘this will get better’. It did initially and up to three months both her naps and night sleep stretches got longer. Then it changed at three months for nights only and she would wake every 1.5-4 hours, I put it down to a sleep regression but this has actually got progressively worse and we are now at a point where if she sleeps for 1.5 hour stints it’s a good night, some nights she can wake every 20 mins/half hour.

Her naps seem fine during the day she is awake for around 2-2.5 or 3 hours max and takes two 2 hour naps or three (with one being half an hour) a day which seems in-line with expected for her age. She sleeps soundly for her naps and wakes happy. She goes to bed easily at night either while feeding or can also self settle, however when she wakes she screams and does seem uncomfortable, she will settle again quickly either by being fed/lifted/patted but as I said it can sometimes be for only 20 mins and then it starts again. I’ve tried leaving her for a few minutes with mixed results so not consistent.

I know people say this can be normal but I find it hard to accept when my first didn’t do it and it doesn’t seem related to hunger or an obvious ‘need’. The majority of my friends children at the same age also either sleep right through or only wake once so I feel I must be going wrong somewhere or there may be something causing my baby discomfort?

Does anyone have any advice? Also worth mentioning that I’ve tried using blanket and zip
up swaddles, adjusted room temperatures, tried her in her cot where she naps rather than the next to me, given her a bottle of expressed milk at bed time and tried formula - none of the above made any significant difference 😅

Both my kids were poor sleepers and 6 months was the worst time for both of them. The only sleep trick I had was cosleep.

Thanks I have resorted to this a few times this week when she was waking every 20 minutes but I actually find it really hard to sleep whilst sharing the bed with her so don’t want to rely on it but it has been needs must!

Everything you've said sounds very similar to my baby, 6/7mo was probably the worst and I thought I was going to lose my mind at times 🙃

It has got better since 8mo when he settled into a 2 nap routine, although by better I mean 2-3 wakes per night. I know sleeping through is probably a way off for us, but getting an evening and some consistent 4 hour stretches of sleep are making a difference.

You've mentioned your baby seemed less sleepy... That's how I've described mine since he was about a month old, and it strikes me that yours might be getting too much daytime sleep? 4 or 4.5 hours during the day seems a lot to me if you think she's low sleep needs. Maybe try shorter naps?

Thanks that’s helpful and gives me hope as I’d now be delighted with 2/3 wakes per night 😂

I probably wasn’t too clear with the naps, the most she will have is 4 hours if it’s two 2 hours, the third half hour nap is only if the other two are shorter so maybe an hour each so typically her day sleep is around 2.5-4 hours! There doesn’t seem to be any difference with the nights on the 2.5 hour days unfortunately.

She is teething and has a cold just now (and also started weaning last week) so I’m holding onto some kind of hope that that’s why this last week has been so bad but I feel like I’ve been hoping for improvement since 4 months so who knows 😂

Yeah there's a crazy amount of stuff going on at this age, guessing she's becoming more mobile too?

We just rode it out and it's got a lot better. I know there are quicker fixes (sleep training) but I'm not comfortable with these - you might be so I won't elaborate. I know it means we have a bit of a longer road ahead of us but I've accepted that.

What's her sleep like during the day? Need good sleep during the day to sleep well on a night x

Sorry just reread it. Strange that's she's sleeping well during the day and not at night. X

She needs 3 naps a day. So if she sleeps 2 hours on a morning. 1 hours afternoon and an hour early evening that might be better. When my son was that age morning was always the longest nap. X

I’d be sleep training at this point tbh, wait for her to kick the cold then choose a method - gentle (takes longer) or CC (will be sleeping through in a few days)

I think we met on another thread and I'm going to have to disagree with you again 🤣

I think on the other thread your baby loves sleep. Assuming by 'good sleep' you mean lots of, this really isn't true for all babies, even though a lot of what you see online implies it (I have my theories on that but will save them for another day).

Obviously all babies need to nap to keep them going to bedtime, but it's possible for babies to get too much sleep, and then not build up enough sleep pressure to stay asleep at night. This can cause frequent wakes, split nights, early starts.

'Good sleep' can actually mean less, if your baby is getting too much during the day and it's affecting their nights.

It might be what her baby needs though 😊 yeah my son loves sleep. I am lucky with him but at that age they do need 3 naps spaced out.

Tbf he still has 3 naps 🤣 I don't think he'll be dropping a nap anytime soon

@Emmamoo89 for sure, it can absolutely work the other way. It's about finding the right balance of day and nighttime sleep - but so much of what you read online (including Mumsnet) implies that more daytime sleep = better nighttime sleep, which I realised after a lot of trial and error does not work for my baby.

All babies are different but I defintely think 'overtiredness' in general gets overused as a reason for sleep issues, and people don't also consider undertiredness as a possible factor because it rarely gets mentioned.

Thanks she often does this, the first being 2 hours and then other two between 30 mins to an hour and I don’t see any real difference to the nighttime sleep!

My first daughter slept a lot and could have a lot of sleep during the day and still sleep at night a ‘danger nap’ didn’t exist for her as even still if she falls asleep close to her bedtime she will still then go to sleep at bedtime and fine all night, so I definitely see a difference in their needs but I think this can make it more frustrating if that makes sense? I felt very lucky with my first but knew it was unusual with how much she slept too!

Thanks! I’m not keen to do this but might consider the gentle methods, when I weaned my first I did a bit of that to help her self settle in her cot and it did only take three nights.

I have left her to cry for a few minutes at times and sometimes she goes back to sleep and others she just ramps up, not ideal when my three year old is next door as it then wakes her 🙈

Thanks! Sometimes just knowing you’re not alone in it is helpful and I do think the whole societal idea that babies that sleep are ‘good babies’ can add to a sleep deprived mothers woes!!

I’m not keen to try sleep training I’m sure for the same reasons as you but I might have a look at ‘gentle Methods’ and see if I can find something that would be a happy medium for me for my sanity!

Yes undertired can be so bad and I never see it get mentioned. It's just putting them down at the right time. Watching the tired cues. Yes each baby is different.

You're not alone, and you're defintely not a bad mum/don't have a bad baby.

My DS could be described as A Bad Sleeper (needs a lot of support to sleep, wakes overnight and needs resettling) but when he is awake he's he really happy and sociable, and he's hitting developmental milestones earlier than a lot of his peers.

Maybe she is lower sleep needs baby? Mine dropped to two naps at 6 months and averaged around 2-2.5 hours of daytime sleep (total across the two naps!). Now at 8 months he’s trying to drop to one nap some days and is only taking max 1hr40 of daytime sleep. It’s way less than most schedules you can find would recommend but I can’t force it!

Second thing to check would be to address any red flags. Waking so frequently isn’t necessarily normal. Yes, it’s normal for babies to wake at night but as often as hourly and being upset about it isn’t. Things that can affect sleep include medical issues like reflux or ear infections, developmental and learning new skills, teething, nutritional like intolerances or low iron (less likely at this age though)

Thanks! Yeah I think it might be she’s getting too much during the day, I only let her have half an hour for her second nap yesterday and she slept a bit better last night (8-11:30-2:40-5-7, still not great but much better than every hour!) she is very sleepy during the day, I don’t have to work to put her down, she just rubs her eyes and if I put her blanket on she will
drop off so I felt she needed the sleep but she’s possibly not really learned the difference between day and night!

Her cold is just about passing, she’s had ear infections in the past but she doesn’t have a temp or any other sign at the minute, the last time I’d had her at the dr for croup he had also said she might have allergies/reflux but really just as I had mentioned her poor sleep. She isn’t very sick and never seems uncomfortable during the day so I hadn’t thought about reflux but it probably is a possibility! She was definitely cutting her bottom teeth so hoping that they are now through she might go back to her usual 2/3 wakes and I can try cutting naps to get those stretches longer!

Thanks for everyone’s help, I’ll update any improvements in the hope it might help someone else in future!!

What works with mine is a change of scenery or activity when he first starts rubbing his face or getting cranky! Most of the time he’s bored instead of sleepy and carries on happily exploring once I offer something new to do 🙂

This has worked for me: apps.apple.com/us/app/sleepbit-track-sleep-health/id6444836427, that sunset simulation effect with the music in background it helps a lot to fall asleep. I would highly suggest to give it a try.

Thanks that’s what I’ve been doing! She loves the bath too so that’s an easy one for keeping her going before bedtime. She had two naps just under a hour today and a little 20 minutes in between, I have my fingers crossed for tonight!

Thanks she doesn’t have any problem falling asleep it’s just that she wakes frequently, even when she wakes she goes back to sleep
quickly and can with only a little support; it’s just that she wakes me every time she wakes and also wasn’t sure what was causing her to wake! X

Just thought I’d do an update incase it helps anyone! I cut her first nap to no more than 1.5 hours and then let her have two shorter usually half hour naps later in the day, I also
moved her through to her own room and she is now only waking once or twice through the night! She wakes around an hour earlier so between 7/8 but I’m happy with that!

I’ll never really know whether it’s the naps or she was maybe waking from hearing me moving in bed etc. or it’s just pure coincidence but thought I’d post an update for anyone else going through the same - there is light at the end of the tunnel and worth trying different things to see! Thanks for everyone’s advice!