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Sleep

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Original poster

Can we do temporary co-sleeping or do i have to commit for the long haul?

12 replies

mamadoc · 05/02/2008 18:52

DD is 9mo. Once upon a long time ago used to sleep 7-7 in her own cot but gradually regressed from that point until now is up 2-3 times/night and won't even settle anymore with bf or rocking.
She used to fall asleep on her own but even if she does this now wakes 10mins later crying. She quickly falls asleep in our arms but really seems to need someone there at the moment. I have just last week started leaving her with childminder in preparation for going back to work and feel sure this has a lot to do with it.
DH and I have agreed that she can come in with us at the 1st wake up as it sure beats 2hrs pacing and rocking but are worried that we'll never get our bed back.
Is there any chance we can do this on a temporary basis until she feels more secure or should I reign myself to her being there another 2 years?

OP posts:

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karen999 · 05/02/2008 18:56

So, has she just started doing this since going to the childminder?

Original poster

mamadoc · 05/02/2008 18:59

Yes. She had started waking 2x night months ago but was always quick bf and back to sleep which I didn't mind at all especially as she would still self settle at bedtime.
Now she won't be left alone to sleep at all.

OP posts:

karen999 · 05/02/2008 19:02

How did she sleep/feed in the day when you were with her? Is she good with solids?

You may find that her routine/feeding is different at the CM's and this may be having an impact on how she is at night. She may be on a growth spurt.

I am actually dreading this happening to my dd as she is due to start at a CM next month, albeit it is my mum!! But it is hard to know exactly what the problem is when you are not there.....

Original poster

mamadoc · 05/02/2008 19:08

She actually sleeps better at CM than with me- has two good naps properly in cot as opposed to 30min naps in buggy/on my shoulder at home.

She is not a good eater either for me or CM and is very small. This is one reason why I'm happy to carry on bf at night.

Its not the waking up as such I mind really more the not going back to sleep and as she quickly sleeps in our arms/our bed that's what makes me think she misses us at the moment/feels insecure.

OP posts:

cosima · 05/02/2008 19:09

read 'three in a bed ' by deborah jackson. Its brill

karen999 · 05/02/2008 19:11

I think separation anxiety is quite common to start at around this age, so this may be part of the problem. Also, I know that my dd (11 months) does not sleep very much in the day, but she sleeps 7-7 so that does not phase me.

Are you doing BLW at all?

Original poster

mamadoc · 05/02/2008 19:18

Started off BLW but now also giving some mush under pressure from HV and GP as her weight is a concern. TBH it doesn't make a blind bit of difference how it comes she just seems to have a very small appetite.

I was thinking it could be separation anxiety. I sort of hope that if we go along with taking her in with us when she wakes for now maybe some day she will just stop waking up. ....but there again I may be living in fantasy land.

OP posts:

karen999 · 05/02/2008 19:30

I am a big advocate of doing whatever is easiest, especially when you are both having to get up for work. Try not to worry.

How is she at the weekend?

Original poster

mamadoc · 05/02/2008 19:37

I am also usually all for doing whatever but am susceptible to pressure and rod for your own back type comments,

Cosima I have heard that book recommended before. I will get it but in the meantime can you clue me in a general idea of what it says? I always thought I would never co-sleep as too worried about safety and aforementioned rod/back issues now I wish I had investigated it better

OP posts:

karen999 · 05/02/2008 19:42

I co-slept with dd1 from birth and vowed never to do it again! I may have done it wrong I dont know but with dd2 I put her in her own cot from 3 months and have never looked back. She sleeps 7-7 and has done since 3 months (with a dream feed till 7 months).

Dd1 in comparison is now 8 and is still a poor sleeper! It may have been down to us co-sleeping, I dont know. All I can say is that go with the flow and do whatever it is that makes your life easier...

Psychobabble · 05/02/2008 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellybelly25 · 07/02/2008 17:17

hey there, dd2 was a bit younger than yours, about 8 mo and she got horribly ill at xmas, having slept ok in her cot for a good few months. she was just inconsolable and really really needed comfort, i.e. breast in the night, so we had her in with us until we felt she was getting better and could gently start teaching her to go back in her cot (didn't really fancu it long term). she was in with us for about 2 weeks, then it took about a week for her to go back in her cot for most of hte night but still in with us early morning and waking once, maybe twice, to feed but going back to sleep. then about a weeka fter that she was only waking once, and now she's doing better than that but i refuse to jinx it by stating how much better, as it's only been going on for about four nights!!

so yes i think you can do it temporarily but you have to be prepared to work at it for a bit afterwards. we didn't use any cc but i did consider it at one point, until it just started sorting itself out.

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