PLEASE HELP ME SLEEP

[Blueangel4]

Hi all, hoping someone can PLEASE HELP!

I have 22 month old girl, she’s always slept brilliantly.. until the last couple months. She goes to bed absolutely fine (around 7pm after in the night garden/a story so she knows the drill). she will sleep fine until what was 3am and then she’d be up for an hour, settled and back to sleep but now she wakes 12/1am and is AWAKE, talking, playing, etc. we could nurse her back to sleep after about 2 hours but those 2 hours are now 5 and my partner and I are getting NO sleep, at all.

she has one nap anywhere between 11am and 1pm for max 45-60 mins, she’s never been a long napper. We’ve tried changing her nappy, giving her more milk/water.

Tried laying her down, explaining it’s bedtime etc and leaving her for a short time - which killed me, tried cuddling her, tried sitting in the rocking chair and holding her hand, tried her in our bed, nothing is working and I’m now clueless. I can confidently rule out regression and teething, overall she’s fit and well.

As a desperate mother coming to other mothers.. PLEASE HELP!

Try cutting the nap? My youngest is a little bit older and we had to cut the nap a little earlier than you. He goes down at 7pm and up at 4.30. We've just had to adjust our lives and make sure we're in bed by 9pm now. Its shit and we're on our knees some days so sending some solidarity to you!

What happens if you just leave her to it?

Could she be ready to drop the nap?

Another vote for dropping the nap. Even on a trial basis, it's worth a shot.

Thank you so much for your answers! I’m definitely going to try and drop the nap, I think that could be the first step.

Shirley - she starts off fine, then get increasingly more upset until she’s hysterical

My girl done this for 2 hours a night, unfortunately nothing worked for me other than her growing out of it.
make yourself comfy with a chair and pillow or even a mattress and try and snooze if she will allow you.
Agree it could also be her nap but my daughter was so hard to try and keep awake until bedtime but definitely worth a try

What do you do when she wakes up? Contrary to what might be common advice, when DD wakes up like this we take her downstairs, put on lights, play for 30 mins, perhaps give her a snack. And then start the bedtime routine again like the start of the night. It seems to sort of reset her and we'll be up for an hour, not 5.

I can see how this would work! I’ll give this a try too.

thank you all the tips! I’ll see how we get on (pray for me!)

Good luck!

Another thing to consider (if dropping/reducing nap doesn't work after a few days) is a later bedtime.

If she's asleep by 7pm then by 3am she's already had 8 hours sleep. Obviously this isn't a problem for a lot of children, but if yours is lower sleep needs then she may well have filled up her sleep tank by 3am, which would explain why she's happily awake for several hours in the night, as she's not tired enough to go back to sleep.

I would personally trial no/reduced nap, and also nap with later bedtime (two seperate trials, and assuming the first trial is unsuccessful).

I’d try pushing bedtime back, there’s a good chance she doesn’t need as much sleep now and she’s not building enough sleep pressure to take her through the night. My sons a couple of months older and goes to bed at 9. To get him down at 7 he’d be up stupidly early in the morning. There’s also still sleep regressions as they develop at this age so might also just be on to get through. Get a mattress for her floor and just lie there while she roams if you need to. Make sure her room is toddler proofed.

My sons younger (10m) and is also on the lower end of sleep needs.

It's a nightmare because most of the guidance you'll find online including Mumsnet is all 'sleep begets sleep!' and 'avoid overtiredness at your peril!' when, for some babies, this is terrible advice.

@Calphurnia88 yeh sleep advice really isn’t a one size fits all! My son’s always been more of a night owl, we’ve never had early wakes but he just doesn’t need to go to bed earlier.

I'd also vote keep the nap and make bedtime later. Aim for 8/8:30. I reckon she needs to build up a bit more sleep pressure in order to go back to sleep when she's woken up.

That's when my son goes to sleep. He can't manage without a nap yet, he gets very emotional once he's been up 7+ hours.

Sadly most people I know with a two year old just don't get much of an evening.