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Sleep

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Original poster

Sharing a bed with cousins

18 replies

Mamabear425 · 16/01/2023 06:17

Hi, would really appreciate some advice regarding sleeping arrangements of my DD9. So we have a very close family, myself and my sister and mum all live on the same street, and all see each other daily. My daughter is the youngest of all the cousins and absolutely adores my Niece 18 and Nephew 19. My nephew actually lives at mums house as she had a larger spare bedroom, and because he has autism and other social anxieties he tends to spend majority of his time at home.

Anyway, my DD adores my mum and has always been very close to her. I have always been fortunate that while working full time my mum would rather have my daughter with her and now my daughter is at school she will often stay at my mums over the weekend if I am working, and we just all spend the evenings together.

So DD will flit between and sometimes sleeps in with her Nan and more so recently sleeps in with her cousin. She has the option of sleeping in the lounge too but will always opt to stay in with someone. They play games on the computer and things and because it’s a bungalow you can always hear them giggling away together. But DD is now starting puberty and I can’t help starting to question if it’s appropriate or not. Or at least at what point do I draw the line. Or am I completely overreacting?

I do talk with her regularly about her body and privacy etc. And she’s very mature for her age. Because she and her cousin are more like siblings in closeness my mum and sister don’t see any issue. But just wondering what other people think?

Thanks in advance

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sux2buthen · 16/01/2023 06:21

You want to know if a 9 year old should share a bed with a 19 year old

liveforsummer · 16/01/2023 06:29

No 9 year old girl should be sleeping with ANY male adult that isn't her father (or father figure). This is so not ok and amazed anyone needs to ask

DaftAporth · 16/01/2023 07:12

No. Just no.

MummyofTw0 · 16/01/2023 07:14

Good god no

Shinyandnew1 · 16/01/2023 07:16

So DD will flit between and sometimes sleeps in with her Nan and more so recently sleeps in with her cousin. She has the option of sleeping in the lounge

But why would she be sleeping in these different places? She has the much better option of going home at night, and sleeping in her own bed!

Bizarre!

liveforsummer · 16/01/2023 07:17

Shinyandnew1 · 16/01/2023 07:16

So DD will flit between and sometimes sleeps in with her Nan and more so recently sleeps in with her cousin. She has the option of sleeping in the lounge

But why would she be sleeping in these different places? She has the much better option of going home at night, and sleeping in her own bed!

Bizarre!

She says she stays there because she's working, which is fine - sleeping with her adult male cousin obviously is not.

Maxmin · 16/01/2023 07:18

Why are there suddenly these threads about little girls sleeping in beds with grown men?

There was recently one about a similarly age DD not have a room and no bed of her own being made to sleep in the same bed as her single father.

GrazingSheep · 16/01/2023 07:18

It’s not appropriate.

BruceAndNosh · 16/01/2023 07:19

I wouldn't recommend a 9 year old share a bed with a 19 male, cousin or brother

rwalker · 16/01/2023 07:29

Needs to stop

BabyOnBoard90 · 16/01/2023 07:32

Resounding no

SunshineAndFizz · 16/01/2023 07:36

Well of course not. He's 19, he could wake up with morning glory. Not his fault, just happens. But you don't want your DD to see that?

Princesspollyyy · 16/01/2023 07:37

Reported.

GotAnyGrapez · 16/01/2023 07:38

You know it's inappropriate why are you even asking?

Put a stop to it immediately before something happens!

TaRaDeBumDeAy · 16/01/2023 07:59

Shinyandnew1 · 16/01/2023 07:16

So DD will flit between and sometimes sleeps in with her Nan and more so recently sleeps in with her cousin. She has the option of sleeping in the lounge

But why would she be sleeping in these different places? She has the much better option of going home at night, and sleeping in her own bed!

Bizarre!

No it isn't

We often had impromptu sleepovers at my nans or aunts house. Or they'd stay at ours.

Everyone would go to my nans on a Saturday and we'd decide between ourselves where we would sleep, home, nans, go home with another cousin/aunt&uncle.

When at my aunts my mum would stay too. They were close, they're sisters.

My nan had 8 kids though so there was loads of us cousins.

buckeejit · 16/01/2023 12:23

It's time to stop. No need to make a big deal, just stop it

smileladiesplease · 16/01/2023 16:29

I think it's lovely that you are all close.

However this is not appropriate for a 19 year old for his own dignity snd safety as it's not appropriate for your dd. I am flabbergasted you and your family can't really see this as very odd behaviour. Please stop it for both their sakes

cocog · 19/04/2023 12:52

Not appropriate at all separate bedrooms! your nephew is old enough to become aroused in his sleep would you really want your little girl in his personal space. It’s your responsibility as her parent to safeguard her your not doing this by letting her sleep with a man nephew or anyone else sorry to be harsh but something going wrong has the potential to destroy your family.

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