Nine-month sleep regression - will it ever end??

[Fagin99]

My 9.5-month old baby has, for the last three weeks, been waking up every 45 minutes throughout the night. I'm absolutely broken from exhaustion and am desperate for it to end. Has anyone been through it and come out the other side? Did it just end spontaneously?

For reference:
She's never slept through, but woke 1-2 times a night which was manageable. She is breastfed.

I've spoken to the Heath Visitor and a nurse who have both assured me it's normal and will pass, but they didn't offer any real advice other than bed-sharing for my sleep (not sure I want to do this).

I'm pretty sure it's mainly comfort she wants, as she falls back sleep as soon as I hold her. She 'sleeps' in a cot next to our bed, but hubby is in spare room so he can be alert for work. She is teething but calpol and gel haven't stopped the frequent wake-ups, so hopefully it isn't pain. She is perfectly fine and happy during the day.

Just looking for reassurance really as I feel like I'm going mad. Thank you xx

I am in exactly the same boat. LO used to self settle for both day time naps and occasionally slept through the night. Is mixed milk fed but not at night. Eats well. Happy kid. Needs khans on him to fall asleep. Can spend 30 mins doing this in the middle of the night only for him to wake 20 mins later. Only way it ends is when he comes in with me. I totally understand separation anxiety is high and he needs comfort. I also can't imagine it will just return to "normal" without some kind of training since he's getting very used to having me now help him to sleep for all naps. So, no answers, just writing in solitary. It's brutal!

Oh @solomumbychoice I totally get it and am sending a huge hug! You're right - it is utterly brutal.
I also can't imagine it just spontaneously ending. Although I of course really hope it does.
I tried an hour of co-sleeping last night, but I just couldn't relax as I was so worried she'd roll off or suffocate somehow. The only way to stop the crying is to hold her while she sleeps (self-soothing never works anymore).
Sending solidarity your way x

@Fagin99 I know its a few months later but how is your LO’s sleep now? I’m in the same boat at the moment and the lack of sleep is taking its toll

Hi @GrowBabyGrow, I'm so sorry I've only just seen this. And sorry to hear you are going through this!

I am pleased to say that after four very long months, it has finally ended and our little one now even sleeps through the night most of the time! The change was gradual - we noticed she was starting to wake less, and then bit by bit it started to improve. I did not do any sleep training whatsoever. Quite the opposite in fact, as I think a lot of it was linked with seperation anxiety. I responded to her all the time with reassurance.

The only thing I did change (this was on advice from a health visitor) is I started giving her her final breastfeed with the lights on, preferably downstairs, so that she wasn't completely asleep going into her cot afterwards. I stayed with her until she fell asleep, comforting her with my voice and rubbing her back, and only picking up if she started crying. The first few nights, she took absolutely ages to fall asleep - no crying, but just wouldn't sleep - but now she falls asleep quickly and can get back to sleep quickly if she wakes in the night. I have no idea if this is just coincidence, as her seperation anxiety has also got a lot better during the day, too, but it might be worth a try.

Most of all though, it was just time and perseverance. This was not easy, of course. I honestly thought I was going mad, I was exhausted and upset, I felt like I was always arguing with my husband, and I never thought it would end. I was sick of all the "advice" from other people, and sometimes felt like I didn't want to be a mother, which made me feel absolutely terrible. But it absolutely did end, and I'm so glad I persevered and didn't resort to sleep training. My little girl now seems so happy and content.

Sorry for the crazy long message. I just know how awful and alone it is to go through it! How are you feeling, love? X