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Original poster

My children never sleep and I don't give a fig

42 replies

morningpaper · 05/02/2008 09:57

You know I really don't care that much

Aren't ALL parents knackered?

Last night: (Child1 is 5, Child2 is 2)

7pm: Children fast asleep
8pm: Child1 coughs herself awake, sits up in bed crying, I blow her nose and settle her back down
9pm: Child2 loses dummy, starts shouting, I replace dummy
10pm: Child1 has huge coughing fit again (repeat hourly throughout night)
1am: Child2 wakes up shouting loudly about wanting bacon - settle her back down
2am: Child1 wakes everyone up laughing hysterically in her sleep then has coughing fit
3am: Child2 gets out of bed and manages to shut her own bedroom door and then starts panicking and screaming - I bring her into my bed
3.15am: DH goes into Child2's bed
4am: Child2 needs a wee
4.30 am: Child1 wakes up coughing and crying - DH settles her back down
5am: Child2 wakes up shouting that she wants her diary back - has to be settled back down
8am: DH wakes us all up for the day

I've had five years of this. It doesn't REALLY bother me or DH that much.

I think some children are naturally awful sleepers.

OP posts:
pukkapatch · 05/02/2008 09:59

that would traumatize me.
but thenmy kids know that mummy doesnt do anything at night time. if they want something they have to ask daddy, who is extremely reluctant. me, unless there is blood in vast quantities, or the armageddon, let me sleep.

hoxtonchick · 05/02/2008 09:59

my dd is pretty much like that. unless closely snuggled up to me at all points. she's 2.5 & we co-sleep.... ds on the other hand, just 6, is a dream sleeper. so it's ok as long as i don't mind being at dd's beck & call all evening. am hoping she grows out of it...

Dropdeadfred · 05/02/2008 10:01

What time do you and DH go to bed MP?

(That would kill me btw - I love sleep)

Original poster
morningpaper · 05/02/2008 10:02

I think both of mine suffer from very vivid dreams - DD1 had night terrors for a couple of years (has grown out of now - thank goodness!!!! that was the worst bit) and DD2 seems to sleepwalk all the time (and shout things - I mean why would a 2 year old start getting really upset about not having a diary or some bacon in the early hours of the night?!?)

OP posts:
Original poster
morningpaper · 05/02/2008 10:04

I got to bed about 10ish and DH goes to bed about 11ish.

Sometimes they will not disturb us for a few hours and then I wake up at 2a.m. feeling all refreshed and like I'm ready for the day

I suspect my brain will rot soon

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castille · 05/02/2008 10:04

Am more in awe of your sang-froid than aghast at your lack of sleep! How do you function? I just can't. Am v grateful to have 3 good sleepers.

Original poster
morningpaper · 05/02/2008 10:07

Yah I don't think I will have any more

We just seem to have got used to it. My mother said her 3 were the same - there is a lot of asthma in the family which I don't think helps (lots of night-time coughing) - and sleep walking and sleep disturbance.

I honestly don't know how you are supposed to 'resolve' a child who coughs herself into a distressed state or who wakes up distressed from a vivid dream or who just wanders around in her sleep!

OP posts:
elliott · 05/02/2008 10:08

It would absolutely kill me. I would probably do anything, pay anything, to sort out sleeping habits like that. I have a colleague whose kids don't sleep and I just have no idea how she manages to produce any work at all - I feel wretched and irritable if I have ONE broken night's sleep...
I am constantly amazed at how very variable people's tolerance for lack of sleep is. Do you generally sleep quite well? (i.e. go back to sleep easily after being woken, sleep pretty deeply...). I am a very light sleeper and I think this is the nub of the problem. I could never ever cosleep - torture!

Original poster
morningpaper · 05/02/2008 10:11

Yes I do go straight back to sleep after any disturbances

Sometimes even back to the same dream

I think that we are just used to it - on the v. rare occasion that one of them sleeps through we both feel terrible the next day

Now I just sound like I am showing off

But my point is that some children just seem to be awful sleepers

And when I read posts that say "My 6 month old won't sleep through!!!!" I can't feel much sympathy

So I'm sorry about that

OP posts:
funnypeculiar · 05/02/2008 10:12

I do think you get used to poor sleep if you have to. Surprisingly quickly
My two (now nearly 2 & 4) are much better than they used to be, bit went through awful stages, which if asked, I would have said would have killed me. Twas fine. That said, when they are sleeping well better, I do notice my energy levels increase somewhat
At least your kids have entertaining excuses, MP. I like the 1am bacon need.

funnypeculiar · 05/02/2008 10:12

Oh, and yes, dh & I both feel much more tired after a full mights sleep these days

Oliveoil · 05/02/2008 10:14

dd2 is a pain in the arse

she is currently in our bed most nights, this goes in phases and just as we think, HA!, cracked it, she comes back in again

we are atm testing out the "you will not have any treats unless you stay in your bed" tack

cue tantrums yesterday when dd1 got a sweet and she didn't

I DO NOT WANT HER IN OUR BED, she is 3.6yrs and should know better tbh

I think you should be stricter MP, personally I would seriously lose the will to live with that lot

FrannyandZooey · 05/02/2008 10:15

i like the bacon bit
ds used to be a crappy sleeper, he is much better now
my one friend said she didn't get an uninterrupted night's sleep for 9 years - her eldest was ATROCIOUS

magnolia74 · 05/02/2008 10:16

Mp, have you tried Singular? Dd4 (aged 4) has it when her night time coughing is bad.
Its a chewable tablet taken in the evening before bed and it has worked wonders for dd4

Original poster
morningpaper · 05/02/2008 10:17

It's pretty cold in the house at night at the mo - will see if the small one improves re. the bed-hopping when the weather warms up - I think the cold is not helping

At 3am the other night I had a HUGE discussion with the 5 year old who was crying and saying "MUMMY I WANT TO PRESS THE BUTTON!" over and over

it was rather frustrating

OP posts:
orangina · 05/02/2008 10:17

I would be drugged up to my eyeballs and enjoying the view from a large soft white room by now if I had to deal with that every night. Respect mp, I am clearly a super lightweight....

orangina · 05/02/2008 10:18

(your children sound very amusing though!)

Original poster
morningpaper · 05/02/2008 10:18

have not tried that Magnolia, will keep an eye out

Medised will shut the 5 year old up for 12 hours and if she is ill I use that

Unfortunately it makes the 2 year old H-Y-P-E-R ! dammit

OP posts:
SnappyLaGore · 05/02/2008 10:20

dp's mother cheerily announced when i was about 6m with ds1 'och you know, [dp] didnt sleep at all till he was 9'

me; right. thanks for that. bit late telling me now, eh?

orangina · 05/02/2008 10:20

Dd (2+9) has just entered the "i need a wee/glass of water/banana/plaster/hug/kiss/yoghurt/cup of milk" stage of going to bed, and I'm giving her night time rescue remedy before she goes to bed each night (she is another one that medised makes hyper...). Is it working? Not sure yet, but it's supposed to calm the active brain (ha!)

elliott · 05/02/2008 10:22

I sort of agree with you (about the inherent nature of how well kids sleep), but sort of don't. Certainly one of mine is inherently a much sounder sleeper than the other (who sadly is more like me sleepwise). But I do think that you can influence how much you get disturbed by how much you 'reward' or tolerate their wakings. So for example I just wouldn't let a child into my bed at night, nor would I get up and go into their bed. And I am pretty slow to go and settle them if they call out (at one stage I talked through with ds1 what he needed to do to sort himself out if he lost teddy or had some other such need in the middle of the night...)
I'm not saying my way is better btw, just that I think it is a combination of the child's nature and the parent's response (which is also determined by the parent's nature!) If it doesn't bother you much getting up in the night, then you do it more readily...
Certainly though I couldn't 'make' ds1 into a 12 hour solid sleeper - but I CAN help him not disturb me when he wakes up!

Original poster
morningpaper · 05/02/2008 10:28

She seems quite COLD when she finds her way into our bed at the mo

Have tried 200 quilts / hot water bottle but she still seem chilly to the touch

I really should get cavity wall insulation and proper carpets....

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drivinmecrazy · 05/02/2008 10:33

Reading this has made me feel so good, because my DD2 (2yo) will only sleep well when in my bed with me. I don't think of this as a problem as DH is away all week, but he goes bannanas at the week-end when she tries to push him out of bed. He thinks I am too soft on her and should make her go back to her bed when she comes into me in the middle of the night (AS IF I HAVEN'T TRIED). I am inclined to think that toddler sleep problems are only a problem if it affects you. I am sure my DD will sleep in her bed all night when she is ready, or am i being totally delusional and unrealistic?? I have to admit in the middle of a cold winters night, it is lovely to feel her sneak in and snuggle next to me.

noddyholder · 05/02/2008 10:34

Need a lie down just reading the op

Mung · 05/02/2008 10:38

What do you do to keep yourself awake and smiling in the day? I wouldn't be able to function if I were disturbed so much. I get too grumpy and short tempered. I wish I could be as positive and cheerful about it as you.