CC officially abandoned - anyone had success with the no cry sleep solution?

[Swaliswan]

DD is 8mo and has never really slept through. She was prem and had the usual frequent wakings of a prem baby when first at home. Until she was 19 weeks, she gradually reduced the frequency of her night feeds and was regularly having just one feed at about 4am. The night that she turned 19 weeks, she suddenly starting waking up every couple of hours She was weaned onto solids at 23 weeks (exclusively BF until then and still BF now) and there was some improvement in her sleep from time to time. I have found that she needs to eat well during the day to sleep well at night both before and after she was on solids.

Anyway, things settled back down to only one night waking a month or so ago and this waking would be anytime from 4:30 onwards. She didn't seem to be feeding heartily so I started to just offer her water to begin with. We even had a few nights when she didn't feed in the night. I thought that we were on the home straight with interrupted nights and decided to try settling DD after just water every time but if she didn't settle I would give her a BF although I would try and stretch out ohw long she went before feeding to encourage her to sleep through. This was fine at first, but now she has started to refuse to re-settle herself and is getting up 2-4 times a night. I am exhausted and we even tried CC properly last night It was awful! We gave in and decided that it doesn't suit anyone in our family. DD no longer feeds herself to sleep as a rule and doesn't tend to go to sleep in our bed anymore but I don't know how to get her to re-settle herself without upsetting her. She naps well during the day and has 2-3 hours of nap time during the day. When she initially settles herself to sleep she does talk/moan/shout/cry a little for 2-3 minutes but settles well with little fuss if she is left alone in a dark room (she gets very upset with me if I stay there and try and 'help' her to sleep). I don't understand how she can initally settle well but refuse to re-settle.

I am thinking about trying the no-cry sleep solution but am not convinced it will work and want to know what things I have to do if it is going to work. Does anyone have any other gentle solutions or experience of the no-cry sleep solution?

Sorry for the ramble but I'm a bit tired this morning and didn't want to miss out anything important.

rushing out the door but look for a long running thread in the sleep topic entitled 'Sleep is for the weak'. I'm a a graduate! (ds now sleeping through) but you'll def find help and advice/support there.

I have no idea if this is helpful, but maybe you don't want to give up on the cc just yet? Our ds, now 1, was a great sleeper, slept through 7-7 by himself from 3 months, self settled, etc. At about 8 months, he has a bad couple of months with an ear infection, teeth, a cold followed by another ear infection, followed by a vomitting bug. Sleep became bad, then really quite bad, then totally crap (I was up every 2 hours either cuddling or feeding)... augh! I nearly went mad, totally lost it a few times in the middle of the night, and we decided that although he had been a bit poorly etc, he had now just forgotten how to sleep properly, and enjoyed the cuddles and feeding etc. So, we decided on cc over the christmas period (ha! how stress free!), and I actually couldn't do it. I felt PAIN inside me when he woke up crying and we didn't give in and feed him. . He wasn't actually hungry, I knew that, but he could get a good scream going. Anyway, I moved to the spare room with an industrial pair of ear plugs, took a large dose of night nurse, and enjoyed 8 hours uninterrupted sleep for the 1st time in months and months, and dh did the training, as he really didn't feel bad about it, it was a means to an end. Luckily dd (2+9) just sleeps through anything, and dh had I think 3 or 4 bad nights, and ds has been a perfect sleeper ever since.

cc is hellish (for me), but if you can get dh to help with it emotionally, do try it, as it sounds as though it will only take a few days for it to work.
Good luck, and sorry for long rambling post!

the shh pat pat was what we did during the cc, and that worked very well. I still use it if there is the occasional wake up, only do the cuddle if he's really upset (though I would like to do it more ). Dd was always such a good sleeper, that I could go in and check her before I went to bed, pick her up, give her a big cuddle, and then put her back to bed and she didn't wake at all.... wouldn't dare do it with ds, his sleep is much lighter!

I think that for lots of babies, your daughter's pattern is perfectly normal.

If YOU feel that YOU can't cope with it, then that is different and there are certainly books you can read about the subject, but there isn't anything WRONG with your baby.

The thing that really did it for me, apart from going nearly mad with tiredness and becoming a horrid shouty mother with dd as a result, was that once he did start sleeping through again (and I was racked with guilt at the thought that he might possibly think his needs weren't being met in an unconditional way when he was crying and no-one was (apparently) listening, blah, blah, blah...), his day time was much calmer and happier too, as he was clearly getting all the sleep he needed. I think that's the crunch really. Putting your own needs for sleep to one side for a moment (though there is a very good argument that says your needs for sleep are equally as important!), if your dd is perfectly happy and content during the day, and doesn't seem to be tired or grouchy, then her night time sleep is good for her. But I suspect that she would benefit from 10-12 hours of UNINTERRUPTED sleep, and you are right to want to train her somehow to self settle. this is quite a good book, and i have found it very helpful. He talks about the importance of sleep, and the various ways of helping your baby/child to acheive it....

Thanks for your replies. I am not happy to persist with CC at the moment. I don't like the idea of it and only tried it as I was desperate. After 1.5 hours of not settling back to sleep (not constant crying, I hasten to add) I decided that it was silly to continue something that no-one in our family unit was happy with.

Morningpaper, I agree that it isn't unusual but it is a problem for me as I am struggling to cope with the broken sleep. I don't mind getting up to her at night but I find it hard when she only wants one feed if that but is still waking up to be comforted especially when I don't know what she wants me to do now that she doesn't want to BF to sleep anymore. I found it much easier getting up throughout the night when she would co-sleep instead of just kicking/punching/grabbing/talking to me (a bit overexcited and thinking that it is playtime I think )

Has anyone out there actually tried the no-cry sleep solution?

We are trying the no-cry solution but a far from succeeding. Our DS (10 weeks) does not go to sleep during the day except 20min catnaps. So we are trying to resettle him using any mean whatsoever. Let us know how you get on.

both of mine went through a bizarre stage from approx 12 weeks to 7 months of taking 2-3 20 min catnaps/day. gradually consolidated when they started to move

thread i Recommended

With ds we (half heartedly) tried NCSS and baby whisperer over the first year. CC was never an option for us as it just didn't feel right. Eventually we gave up! we ditched the cot and co-slept and for about 8 months had 2 very brief wakings a night. He started sleeping through on his own around 18m (he's now 2). I really do feel alo f it is down to personality and the individual child.Just knw you're not alone and it will srt itslef out even if you do nothing! (that's meant to be a positive btw)

as you can see the O on my keyboard is suffering from spilt juice syndrome!

I asked about an alternative to CC the other night and someone recommended a book, cant remember name of it but my thread is called something about how did you go from rocking to sleep without doing CC. I cant do that link thing unfortunately. I think No cry sleep solution may be a bit too vague. I think you need a plan of sorts. I also read about another dr who advocates something like 3 nights of stopping bf before theyre asleep, followed by 3 nights of holding them back to sleep, followed by 3 nights of standing with them beside cot (with some crying) but cant remember his name either. I know am being crap, but message is that if youre trying something other than CC you need some sort of plan I think. The NCT book about sleeping has alternative plans too, eg. gradual withdrawal methods. We havent tried them yet. DD1 worked with CC for about 45 mins, DD2 not so good. Will let you know if we try it.

Book is 'Teach your child to sleep' by Millpond Clinic, recommended by lorisparkle. Havent got it yet but am going to try.

I went to the Millpond clinic's website and saw the case study about a baby who was still feeding at night time. It seemed to me that the methods they used were the same as in the no-cry sleep solution but with a time limit of a number of days until you move on to the next stage. I think that I will try NCSS first before buying yet another book! I would, however, love to know just how they structure the reduction in feeding. DH and I were rather tempted to go through the consultation with them as they claim to have a 97% success rate within 2-3 weeks!

Last night I decided that for a few nights I would revert back to feeding DD whenever she woke so that I can start again with trying to cut out the night feeds but use a gradual reduction method this time. DD woke up at 2:15 and 4:45 after going to bed at 7pm. When she went to bed I held her for a little while in the dark so she was happy when she went into her cot and just chattered away for a short while before going to bed. She got up at 7ish this morning. She fed properly both times and had both breasts this morning so I wonder if she is going through a growth spurt. I enjoyed nighttime not being a battle last night and all the snuggles I had but a longer stretch of unbroken sleep would be welcome!

BTW, pevie the book is about £6.49 on Amazon atm.

My opinion is that the NCSS has some good ideas in it but whether it would work or not I'm not sure. They seem to suggest that it should work for most babies within a month but I'm not convinced.

The Millpond book is well worth a read (from library?) and describes how to identify a problem and various methods of addressing the problem including CC and Gradual Withdrawal. The book says to make a sleep diary before you start to help you make your plan of action.

For the feeding issue there are four case studies in the Millpond book, three of which are relevant to babies under one. There are two methods of reducing the night feeds. The first is to space out the feed times, e.g. start by saying you will only feed every four hours and increasing this time over a few days. The second method (in BF babies) is to reduce the length of each feed by 30 secs to one minute every day or few days until it reduces to no feeds. The book says to use one of these two methods - a combination of the two isn't necessary. The book also considers milk association with sleep which means that, even if you DC isn't fed to sleep, when they wake in the night they still think they need milk as part of the going back to sleep process. To overcome this they recommend giving bedtime milk before starting the bedtime routine.

HTH

Thanks IwansMam that was really helpful. I've ordered the book from Amazon as I think it should be worth it's weight in gold. I'm hoping that I'm going to be able to tackle the situation by myself as DH isn't really able to help.