After any advice.
My daughter has always been pretty good at bed times. We have always been quite strict since she was a baby about bed time routines but she always ended up getting into bed with us until half way through the night until she was about 4. My son was born & then this wasn't an option as he was in our room also. She has never been happy about being in her own room but it's never been an issue. Until now.
Whilst the bed time routine is done with her brother, we always make it clear that we don't expect her to sleep that early. So we bath, read, sing and chat every night with them both (DH & I take in turns with each child and we do it all together as 4 on a weekend). We then put my son to bed (he's 5) and it's 8pm by this point. My son goes to sleep fast at this point. However it's too early for DD & so we've said she can play quietly, read, ask Alexa to read her an audio book, colour / write at her desk, listen to music etc. basically anything she wants as long as she doesn't wake her brother and winds down. However, this isn't good enough for her. Despite being happy, playful and engaged with the routine, the moment she gets into bed the moping begins. She has tummy ache, foot hurts, too hot, can see clowns in her mind, you name it - she's got it as an excuse. So I gently remind her of all the things she can do in her room. But she won't do any of it! She just lays in the dark sulking. She will occasionally read at our insistence but other than that, evenings have just become a farce of her up and down the stairs with all these imaginary problems.
We've really tried to be patient, but we are becoming frustrated now. We are upstairs post bed time routine until 9pm as it is, and we are both knackered from working full time so are in bed by 10. Literally all we want to do is watch 1 episode of Happy Valley on an evening without her constantly coming down.
Tonight she has said that she is worried to come and talk to me because im always angry at her when she does. That comment is so unfair I could cry! I have frustratingly explained to her for a 100th time that it's bedtime, and asked what exactly she expects from us etc but at this point I don't know what else I can do!
I want to set this firm boundary around bed time with her, but I feel guilty that she's getting upset but also annoyed that she just focuses on all the bad things about me, when I put so much effort in.
Tonight I had been downstairs just 30 mins when at 10.15 she appeared saying she missed me. I spent all evening around the kids, even though they were on iPads for a bit etc, I was there, asking about their days, etc etc.
Any suggestions? She's still up now making excuses, going to the toilet etc