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Sleep

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Original poster

Help DP and I settle our sleep argument

15 replies

sherby · 04/02/2008 23:13

So if you had two people both at home at the moment (we're not lazy feckers DP is off on long term sick with PTSD) and a baby who wakes very frequently in the night ie anywhere from 3-10 times (I get up in the night as DS is bf back to sleep) what would you say was a fair soloution to who gets up with DD and DS in the mornings

A, We both do one day on one day off regardless off what happened in the night

B, DP does two days on one day off

C, DP does the majority of mornings so maybe five and I do the other two.

We are currently using system A and I have huge issues with being up 5 times in the night and then still getting up at 5.30 because 'its not his turn' . I like option B, it seems quite fair. DP likes A for obvious reasons.

He wants me to add that because of the PTSD he does occasionally find it hard to get to sleep so isn't exactly having 10 hrs sleep at night either.

OP posts:

Original poster

sherby · 04/02/2008 23:14

Ignore all typos I am bfing as I type

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VeniVidiVickiQV · 04/02/2008 23:16

Surely you can decide between yourselves?

You are required to b/feed, so you have to get up in the night. Unless you can express and DP can do his fair share of night feeds and you alternate mornings.

gigglewitch · 04/02/2008 23:17

ummm, what is this thing, "sleep"??
sorry, not helpful, will go away

I say D) put the kids in bed with you and hope they all go back to sleep?

Original poster

sherby · 04/02/2008 23:19

LOL we can't decide between ourselves this discussion has been going on for 2 months.

He thinks one day on one day off is fine, I dont.

Cant be doing with expressing, I would rather get up.

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Original poster

sherby · 04/02/2008 23:20

giggle they already are in with us

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Swaliswan · 05/02/2008 04:21

Can I offer an option E? That DP gets up with them every morning from 05:30-8ish and leaves you to have a sleep in a nice dark and quiet room then you get up and if he wants he can go back to bed. It only seems fair if he is able to sleep all night without being disturbed that he gives you a chance of undisturbed sleep before expecting you to start the day.

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 05/02/2008 08:15

I agree with option E .

You could try one day on and one day off of that to start with...?

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 05/02/2008 08:18

p.s. tell you DP that I would like to add that I'm PG and it takes me in the region of 1-2 hrs to get back to sleep once I've been woken and my DD has been ill for weeks and up from 2-5am and then up at 7am for the day so am feeling wrecked BUT to have the chance to just lie there undisturbed knowing that you don't have to get up with the baby is completely different to actually getting up and dealing with night wakings. Suggest he gets up with you every time you get up to feed and that he just sits on the edge of the bed (just in his PJs) until you have finished and then you both get back in to bed. Suggest he tries it for a couple of nights back to back and see what he notices.

Original poster

sherby · 05/02/2008 08:20

We do have a slight version of E up and running if they get up really early (before 5).

I suppose I should of added that it is tradition that the person who gets up in the morning, does the living room and hoovering and washes the dishes cleans the kitchen, so the house is nice for the morning.

Perhaps we could cut this bit out.

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dividedselfridgesxmaswindow · 05/02/2008 08:24

How old is your baby?

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 05/02/2008 08:24

absolutely - the person who gets the lie in should do that!

Original poster

sherby · 05/02/2008 08:27

6 months

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Swaliswan · 05/02/2008 08:31

The person getting the lie in should do that stuff the night before. We had a similar situation to you when DH had 4 months off as post-tour leave on his return from Iraq. I was aware that he needed a break and to return to nomality so I didn't wake him every morning, but I did wake him when I needed to. I had a prem baby who was (and still can be) shockingly bad at sleeping. I was so tired that I kept on scoring high on the PND questionnaire so the HV was always visiting us!

dividedselfridgesxmaswindow · 05/02/2008 12:13

Could you tackle the issue of ds not sleeping through. At 6 months this is possible ime.

But I think you simply need to be pragmatic and look at who actually has had the most sleep and make them get up!

Original poster

sherby · 05/02/2008 12:38

Im not overly concerned about DS needing to wake up at night tbh.

We did try the see what happens and then decide who gets up system, but the descent into chaos was swift . I think the problem is that in reality nobody wants to get up at stupid o clock in the morning so it has to be decided the night before really.

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