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Sleep

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Original poster

I can't do this

20 replies

poppy8989 · 09/01/2023 21:01

Can I please just tell one person how hard I'm finding this.
How I have cried every single day for 5 months
How I can't parent anymore
I can't handle a baby who doesn't sleep
I can't go on like this.
I am so so so so miserable and I feel I'm loosing my mind.
I have no one I can talk to.
The doctors don't listen
The health visitor is usless and they won't give me anyone else.
Who is Suppose to help me?!?!
I can't do this anymore.
I want to scream so loudly and the anger makes me want to smash everything possible just to release how I'm feeling.
How it is possible to feel this bad

OP posts:

Namechangedforthisonetoday · 09/01/2023 21:03

Oh poppy I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Motherhood is so bloody tough at times and so bloody lonely. How old is baby? Do you want to tell us their routine/how they feed etc?

Opossummer · 09/01/2023 21:03

Do you have someone you can ask to watch baby for a night? Just once in a blue moon so you can get a proper night's sleep?

I've seen some of the posher folks on here imploy a night nanny?

Namechangedforthisonetoday · 09/01/2023 21:04

I promise you it will get better. I promise. I have 4DC, I’ve had some really low points, one thing I’ve learned is that everything is fixable. Babies don’t cry for no reason. Babies aren’t constantly unsettled for no reason. They can’t tell you what’s wrong so you have to treat it like a riddle. You will get to the bottom of why baby’s sleep is so bad. We will help you x

Roseandrose20 · 09/01/2023 21:06

As above, let us help you.
how old is your baby? What is their day and night routine like, naps, awake time etc. do you have a partner??

Namechangedforthisonetoday · 09/01/2023 21:07

Ok I’ve just seen baby is EBF and has allergies. Move to formula poppy. You’ve done great but your mental health is clearly being affected. Baby needs particular milk for their allergies. EBF is so so tough, particularly when allergies are involved. It sounds as though baby is properly uncomfortable, hence the sleeping problems. The best thing you can do for them is to move them on to a specialist formula. I have experience of this. It’s a game changer.

Namechangedforthisonetoday · 09/01/2023 21:07

*probably not properly

Namechangedforthisonetoday · 09/01/2023 21:10

You have posted extensively about this lovely. It sounds as though baby has allergies and possibly reflux (you mentioned they won’t lie down on their back). Have you thought about combining specialist formula with infant gaviscon? It could really help x

Warspite · 09/01/2023 21:12

Yes you can do this. You are being tested to the limit but you can do it.
If you are absolutely certain your baby is fed, winded, clean and dry, not too hot or cold then try leaving baby for a while to cry its self to sleep. Leave the room, steel yourself to ignore the crying & see what happens.
If you are certain baby doesn’t have colic and your GP can’t find anything wrong, then try putting baby down in it’s cot & leave it for a bit. Leave the room, shut the door, go downstairs.
Could you try taking babe out in the car? The motion and engine noise might be soporific and make baby sleep?
Can you take baby out for a walk in its pram? The fresh air, if it’s dry weather/between showers might help to rock baby off to sleep & might di you good too.
We’ve all been there and believe me, you will get through it. You WILL get through it and we are all here to hold your hand.
Sending a big reassuring hug.

Reluctantadult · 09/01/2023 21:18

Much sympathy. I was broken at 5m. Went to the doctors for tests in case I was ill. I wasn't, just severely sleep deprived. I stopped breast feeding, switched to formula (which was hard) so that husband could help. And counted the days to 6m then did sleep training (also hard). But it worked and she slept through. I could function. She was happier too. Looking back (dd is 8 now) I wonder if I did the right thing at such a young age, everyone says they're so little just cuddle them, but at the time I could not cope any more, dd would not co sleep, and no one could help me out.

watchfulwishes · 09/01/2023 21:20

If the baby has allergies, that are being triggered by breastmilk, you really should speak to a doctor about switching to formula.

All the other sleep advice is going to be useless until that is sorted?

coverp · 09/01/2023 21:22

You have a whole world of people here very happy to help you - a lot of us have been exactly where you are now.

Have you tried co-sleeping? I was adamant I wouldn't and battled through 5 months of absolute hell with my eldest. Co-sleeping changed the game for me.

Wizzpopfizzbang · 09/01/2023 21:28

I’m lease please look up milk allergy and reflux…. I went in for nearly a year before it was worked out by me!…. And resolved in days with prescription milk…. So sorry you are going through it …., it is really awful and can make you very very ill. we slept for three hours a night for nearly a year and it made me very poorly … mentally also. Google it…. Highlight your experiences and show a doctor and demand prescription milk

MargaritMargo · 09/01/2023 21:32

Formula and co sleep?

If baby won’t go on their back it suggests reflux or GERD. Have you seen anyone for this?

if it’s not milk related then safely co sleep, it’s the only way I ever got any sleep.

HappyNewYear2023 · 09/01/2023 21:43

Just sending you hugs OP. Lack of sleep is absolute torture.

It will get better, hang in there.

ShadowPuppets · 09/01/2023 21:46

It’s torture. I’m sorry. I was where you are 3 months ago and I just want to cuddle you and send you off to the premier inn for a night and look after your baby for you.

My second is 9 months. He’s a demon for sleep but the big things were: night weaning (he was formula fed by 6 months), gentle sleep training, solids, crawling.

it’s hell right now but I promise I promise I promise it’s not forever.

BabyOnBoard90 · 09/01/2023 23:21

Formula and sleep train.

Good luck

Skyeheather · 09/01/2023 23:32

Have you thought about co-sleeping? It was the only way both of my babies would go to sleep - and it's not true that if you do baby will be in your bed forever. Both of mine happily went to sleep in their own beds when the time came.

Omm · 09/01/2023 23:40

It doesn’t sound possible, but it will get better, honestly!
you can survive this!
good luck 😘

IveForgottenAgainFFS · 09/01/2023 23:41

OP ♥️♥️♥️

Plenty of good advice here but it's impossible to think straight in your position. My HV only really started to listen when I said I wanted to give up my baby.

You need practical help to give you the space to make changes.

Tiredmamma8 · 15/01/2023 07:34

I’m so sorry you’re having a hard time. Please Google perinatal mental health team and your borough. They’re amazing and will help you.

I can’t help with the sleep as we have our own issues. If you have the safe sleep seven you could cosleep, it’s the only way I get to sleep.

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