Anyone's child not have a bed?

[whoami24601]

DS7 rejects his bed and has done for years. He slept in his own room from birth until last summer but from about age 4 would sleep on the floor instead of his bed. He currently shares with DS4 and they have the IKEA Kura bed which is a high sleeper with a mattress underneath. DS4 on top and DS7 on the bottom. I was hoping him being low down would mean he would sleep on his mattress but he still chooses the floor. He's currently on a camping roll mat with a duvet on top and then sleeps in a sleeping bag! He's being assessed for ASD so maybe it's a sensory thing? Anyway their bedroom isn't massive and it seems silly to have this mattress taking up a load of space but not being used! Would it be crazy to turn it into a reading area or something else and ditch the mattress? I know a lack of a bed can be a red flag for social services if he mentions it at school and don't want to end up in trouble.

Yes because he is not used to it. The more he does it the easiercit will become.

I don't see why you should pressure him to sleep on a mattress if he consistently prefers the floor. Some people just prefer that.

I can see the worry about being accused of neglect of there's no bed at all though. Could maybe cover it in pillows and make it into a soft comfy reading nook.

Because sleeping in a bed is a life skill everyone needs?

We bought an extremely thin mattress from ikea for my son who has ASD and he finally slept on it after 3 years of sleeping on the floor. Might be worth a try.

Just make the mattress on the floor (that he isn’t using) into a nice reading area anyway! If he spends more time there it might end up encouraging him to want to sleep there.

My ASD son used to fall asleep on the floor. I moved him onto a mattress once asleep. Then he started falling asleep on a mattress on the floor (his old cotbed mattress) although a bed was available. He then suddenly started sleeping in the bed & stayed in beds until an adult. He has a (proper single) mattress on the floor & a double bed now (he’s adult) but prefers the mattress on the floor. To be fair the mattress on the floor is in a safespace so it may be that he prefers rather than the position of it.

Your son needs access to a proper bed mattress imo. If you get the fold out ikea one as a stepping stone to a mattress I think you still need the full mattress available tbh - sorry. As someone else said if your son has to ask to move to a mattress he probably won’t. I think from memory my son was about 8 when he took himself into a proper bed.

Good to hear from people whose children did this and grew out of it. I was kind of thinking this is it but if there's a chance he'll migrate back to the mattress its worth leaving it there. It's just frustrating I guess having space that's not being used! And then the floor space is taken up with his 'bed' so very little room to play! I think the idea of making a reading area on the mattress is a good one and we do have lots of teddies that could be relocated there which will free up some room space.

I'd try a futon mattress instead. But no, I wouldn't get rid of it. All it takes is one busybody if he mentions it to anyone and some social workers aren't very nice people. Of course, some are. But I'd rather stay away from them entirely just in case.

Could you try an extra firm mattress?

You've put this in sleep so you have a lot of NT parents mostly with NT children giving you advice. If you said he couldn't use a knife and fork 'properly' because he was dyspraxic they'd be telling you that's also really important in life and you needed to keep drilling him in it. You don't need to make him 'normal' by finding ways to get him into a bed, people existed long before beds did. You don't need to make him 'normal' by getting him into a bed because at some point other people will consider him 'odd'. This is ableist nonsense.

If you want to get rid of the mattress because he never sleeps on it then get rid of it. No one is going to take your potentially autistic child into care because he chooses to sleep on a roll mat and you don't keep a bed for him 'just in case'. SS is under ridiculous pressure where there is real abuse going on. If school speak to you about it then explain that he is being assessed for ASD, and for sensory reasons doesn't like to sleep on a mattress. They can be pretty clueless on ASD but unless he is telling them that you are forcing him to sleep on the floor as a punishment for being bad or something along those lines then I really can't see it being an issue (unless they are very ignorant about ASD).

If at any point he is unhappy sleeping on the floor and wants a bed and mattress back then I am sure he will find a way to let you know even if he is unable to articulate it in exactly the way an NT person would.

Another mum of a child who outgrew this. They preferred the roll mat, sleeping bag and pop up tent as a child.
I thought the IKEA mattress looked a practical solution.

I think you need to keep it so he has the option to migrate back to it. By all means make it a read space/day bed so it’s more useful.

Ah thanks for all the input. I've decided to keep it but have added some shelves for books and made it into a chill out area. I have some bed curtains I was given by a friend but the velcro has lost its stick. Any ideas how I can fix it? I've tried sticky pads and double sided tape.

You can buy Velcro on a roll.

www.bakerross.co.uk/hook-loop-self-adhesive-tape?utm_campaign=PMax-Sidekicks&gclid=Cj0KCQiAtvSdBhD0ARIsAPf8oNnQWNgAvqjVoF50yHF6pqYysP2JSZns4dKdi0_tLpEdjPX7IDS3yAAaAmzWEALw_wcB

My youngest had a mattress on his floor which I would sleep with him on until he was nearly 2. We got him a nice bed after that. The reason for the mattress was he hated sleeping in his cot. Same for my daughter only we had no mattress and slept on the floor from about 7 months to about 13 months then we got her a bed

I think if a well looked after child had a nice bedroom with books, toys, storage, a night light etc with a roll up camping mat rather than a bed SS would not be the slightest bit concerned. Is there other reasons you mention neglect/ SS

My child will always have a bed, may not sleep in it all the time but it is there

Your child may decide one night to sleep in it

If you don't have room for a bed then move

Er, moving may not be an option for the OP?

Social services have much weightier problems to deal with. A fold up mattress is a good option.

@GGalarunner no reasons at all but I work in a school and know it would be a concern if school found out. Not necessarily a referral but it would definitely be a red flag. I'd rather not have a red flag against us even if it's the only one!

@WandaWonder there is space for a bed, but it's frustrating to have all that space go unused because he's sleeping on the floor! Nowhere in any of my posts did I say we didn't have space for a bed but thanks.

What about a trundle bed, low to the ground but off the floor for ventilation. He needs to have a bed available.

@LIZS his bed is essentially just a mattress on the floor anyway. I did think that might encourage him to sleep in it but he still prefers the floor x

Maybe the base with no mattress, or just a thin one like a topper.

Is his mattress hard enough?

one of mine needs a mattress that I could never sleep on - it’s like bricks to me, but what they need.