Ferber method or gradual retreat? Success stories please!!

[BeckyBoo16]

I am fed up of DS’s sleep. He’s only 7 months but he has to be held and bum patted to fall asleep and needs me to put him back to sleep if he wakes up. I’ve tried putting him back down and leaving him but he just rolls around the cot and babbles. Sometimes turns into a very angry dinosaur type cry!

I am in two minds about sleep training and torn between Ferber method and gradual retreat. Just wondering what method people used (or if they used something different) and how long it took, what age baby was etc.

Most importantly if it worked!

I've just done Ferber with my 6mo DS, having used it to get my DD to go to sleep by herself when she was the same age.

We're only a week in but he's gone from waking every hour through the night (we were co-sleeping and I was his dummy!!) to last night when he slept from 11pm-6.30. Actually tonight is only Day 5 but he now naps in his cot for 1-1.5hrs at a time too, which he didn't do very often before. Usually woke after 45 mins.

It's not for everyone and yes he got very cross and sad to start with but I was on my knees after 2 solid months of being woken 8-10 times every single night. DH wanted to help but the only thing that settled DS was me feeding him back to sleep, and I honestly didn't see why that would ever change unless I forced the issue.

He's the happiest baby I've ever come across otherwise, and sleep training hasn't affected that!

I appreciate that some people may well come on and say that he would have got there in his own time, but I couldn't risk that being months or even years away!

Good luck whatever you decide.

sorry to jump on post op but @girlrunningoncheese when your baby was waking in the night was he feeding? My DS is waking 4 x between 11 and 6 and taking most of his bottle so maybe he genuinely needs it?? But how come other babies can sleep longer periods? Sometimes he’s waking every 2 hours. I want to try this method or the pick up put down one but I’m worried he does still need the feeds. I’d really appreciate your thoughts as someone who has done it. My baby is 8 months. Thanks

I'd say he was taking a "proper" feed maybe twice in the night, and the rest of the time it was comfort suckling to get himself back to sleep.
Since the new regime, he does still feed once or twice in the night. I don't think we have the day vs night calories quite right yet. But I would say that you can still do sleep training without night weaning. DS can do much much longer stretches of sleep now so he can't be hungry all night!

In the actual Ferber book, he has suggestions for timings on when to offer night feeds - you don't need to go cold turkey but you could start pushing the first feed of the night back gradually to reduce them that way.
Hope that helps!

So my eldest I did gradual retreat - disappearing chair. Worked a treat. He was 2.5. He was old enough to understand though and I think that played a large part of its success.

I did Ferber at 8m with my youngest. He wouldn’t have settled with gradual retreat. My presence was too distracting for him.

@girlrunningoncheese thanks that’s really helpful. So last night we tried pick up put down at 11 as he’d been awake 5/6 times since 9.30 ish. Picked up and put down 3 times and he went on to sleep til 3am!! And then 6.30!! I don’t think this was the sleep training he’s not that clever 😂 maybe getting better routine but I will definitely take your advice thanks x

@LittleMG well it's a happy coincidence then
That sounds like great progress, I hope you get similar tonight!
I also wonder whether we get trapped in habits to settle them back to sleep as soon as possible and don't give them the opportunity to go to sleep themselves. So it's always good to let them try even if you don't go full on down the sleep training line!

Hey there
we did the “Sit Back” method from Taking cara babies and wow worked a treat! (Have a picture explaining it if you would like)
it’s a more gently approach to Ferber method

We basically did it one night - she was 6 months and getting up around 4 times a night, it took about 3 hours but she fell asleep and slept through from then on out - probably lucky.
mum friend done it too after me raving about it and she had 3 “bad” nights but baby slept through after that!

Swear by it!!
x

I did Ferber with DD when she was about two (years).

She went from taking two - three hours to settle, and waking five times a night, to sleeping through by the third night.

The first night of doing it was the worst. The second night was markedly better, and she settled much more quickly. As I say, by night three, she went down without any issues and slept through.

I just wish I'd done it when she was much younger. Ferber saved my sanity.

I went on to have another three babies and trained them better! My third slept through the night at six weeks. All breastfed, too.

@ZMum22 yes please I’d love a picture!

@girlrunningoncheese I think that sometimes I don’t give him enough time to settle himself, I’m so desperate to get back to sleep myself that it’s quicker to just rock him! maybe I’ll try giving him a chance to sort himself out and then intervene

Both work, but gradual takes longer. Gradual seemed to just make my DC hyped up so I switched to spaced soothing

@BeckyBoo16 totally relate to just wanting to go back to sleep yourself! And with my DD, she needed a lot of bouncing to go to sleep which was exhausting in the middle of the night so I feel your pain!
DS would just shuffle over to me and latch on which is admittedly less effort than the rocking but still not something I could sleep through!

Hi OP. I did a 5 min, 10 min, 15, 20 etc Ferber method as advised by a sleep trainer who came to help for two nights. This was after ten months of waking hourly and me getting about three hours sleep per night for 10 months.

it took one night, about an hour of crying and protesting (from both me and baby tbh) and that was it, spell broken. He sleeps 12 hours a night without fail. Sometimes hear him stir in his sleep but he’s back down within a few mins without me going in.

to say it was life changing is an understatement. I was very unwell and now I’m totally fine. Truly, just do it.

I did Ferber (didn’t know it was called that!) at 5.5 months with DD, who is now 2.5. Life changing within a few days and would 100% do it again!

I did gradual retreat with my twins. I tried CIO/Ferber but honestly I live in a semi detached with thin walls and didn't think it fair on the twins who got each other worked up or the neighbours