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Four am to six am battle

7 replies

Morningdisaster · 06/01/2023 05:59

My 16 month old has been mostly night weaned for months now except for one feed when he wakes at 5. He has always gone straight to sleep after this feed until 7 or sometimes half 7. We decided to try to drop this last feed. He still has breastmilk in the day but often only morning, bedtime and one or sometimes two other times during the day depending on how busy a day we have - he is less likely to look for it if he's busy and distracted. I'd like to carry on this way and let him wean naturally. Maybe I'm on to plums with this idea!

For the past 3 days my husband has gone in when he wakes to settle him with a cuddle. It's been a nightmare. He's now waking earlier (4am) and is crying a lot. My husband will manage to calm him and he goes to sleep for maybe half an hour then wakes again and this goes on until 6 when I cave and he has a feed and is up for the day.

I hate this. He used to just go back to sleep. I feel like we're now stuck in a battle. He seems genuinely hungry and we've landed ourselves with a 6am wale up instead of 7 like we used to have. My husband maintains he can't breastfeed forever and I agree that recently I've been on the verge of wanting to wean him altogether.

What do we do? Even giving him a sippy cup of milk isn't working (and I don't want to get into leaving one in his cot as it's not good for his teeth) even if it did work we're replacing one wake up for another when we go in to hand him the cup 🤦🏼‍♀️

He's currently crying while my husband is in with him so that'll be me going in again in ten minutes. He's been going since 4am as usual and tonight even started waking up at other times through the night that he didn't used to.

Husband thinks we have to stick it out another few days because going back now would confuse him andI Agee that at some point he does have to stop breastfeeding. Surely we won't have a 4-6 fight forever because of that !

Has anyone been through similar?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
wibblewobbleball · 06/01/2023 06:12

He's still a baby. Giving him a feed at 5am at his age won't mean he will "breastfeed forever". Do you know any adults who still need to breastfeed to sleep? If it was working for you I don't see why you'd change it. Eventually he will be ready to drop it, clearly he isn't now.

ButterflyBiscuit · 06/01/2023 06:13

Not that it helps but we had 5am wake ups for a long time. We didn't find a way so ended up accepting it. One of us used to take downstairs, drink coffee, put cbeebies on and give some milk and cereal and kind of live in a half state until time was more reasonable. It was driving me nuts as whatever time we put to bed it was like an on switch at 5.

It did gradually become 5.30 and then 6.. we had got to a point where we were just relieved she slept through til 5 and went to bed earlier.

Breastfeduptotheeyeballs · 06/01/2023 06:21

wibblewobbleball · 06/01/2023 06:12

He's still a baby. Giving him a feed at 5am at his age won't mean he will "breastfeed forever". Do you know any adults who still need to breastfeed to sleep? If it was working for you I don't see why you'd change it. Eventually he will be ready to drop it, clearly he isn't now.

I don't think he'll breastfeed forever. I said surely we won't have a 4-6 battle forever.

It's not working for us anymore. I'm back to work and even waking at 5 is exhausting me as he goes back to sleep but I struggle to once I'm woken so we want to stop the night feeds.

I'm happy to feed in the day. I work ad hoc freelance and when I'm away for the day at work he goes all day without and doesn't bother- when I'm not working he has breastmilk 3 or 4 times a day. He can clearly go without perfectly fine. He's 16 months old and eats all day long.

7Worfs · 06/01/2023 06:22

Early wake-ups are very normal at this age - do what you have to do to survive. I chose breastfeeding & co-sleeping the rest of the night.
I’m not sure letting him cry for ages is good for anyone…

Breastfeduptotheeyeballs · 06/01/2023 06:24

7Worfs · 06/01/2023 06:22

Early wake-ups are very normal at this age - do what you have to do to survive. I chose breastfeeding & co-sleeping the rest of the night.
I’m not sure letting him cry for ages is good for anyone…

Co-sleeping worked when he was younger. Now he just thinks it's party time when he try bringing him into our bed 🤯

FunctionalSkills · 06/01/2023 06:39

Then it looks like accepting some early mornings for a few months. Go to bed earlier. Do what you need to do to get some sleep - at least he's sleeping through!

7Worfs · 06/01/2023 10:26

Breastfeduptotheeyeballs · 06/01/2023 06:24

Co-sleeping worked when he was younger. Now he just thinks it's party time when he try bringing him into our bed 🤯

Ah yes, 5am is still the danger zone with our 3yo. Sometimes he isn’t tired so can’t go back to sleep.
We just keep shushing and saying it’s sleepy time still, and if he doesn’t doze off we get up at 6am. ☹️

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