10 month old's sleep getting worse

[Mung]

DD's sleep has gradually got worse over the last 3 months. I always put her to bed awake in day and at 7pm and she goes to sleep just fine. She always used to bf once (or sometimes twice) a night and went straight back to sleep in her cot. Now it seems that she is waking much more often and doesn't always settle after a feed.
Over the last 3 months she has had constant colds, teeth, cough... and it is hard work.
When she began to not settle, I started to go in and do the pick up / put down thing, but putting her down made her go crazy again, so I just rubbed her back and she used to go back to sleep quite quickly.
Over the last couple of weeks she seems to expect that attention and she cannot settle herself at all. It can now take up to 2 hours of 'rubbing' to get her back to sleep, as she seems to wake as soon as you remove your hand. Either that or she coughs and wakes herself up again. This can happen a couple of times a night, including after a feed.
I have also tried taking her into my bed and whilst I may get her back to sleep that time, I sleep really badly and when she next wakes she just throws herself about and crawls around the bed.
DH loses his temper after a while and gives up and says that we should just leave her to cry, suggesting a large dose of Medised. His reasons being that she has just got used to us going in and can no longer self settle (its true that she used to have a little moan now and again and then go back to sleep - and she manages to do that in the day). I feel that despite her being ill, that medised is not the answer and due to the fact that she is ill, we cannot just leave her to cry - its cruel.
So, basically, I need a plan, so that I can give DH (and myself) something concrete to follow and to aim for. I have looked at some older threads but they all suggest rocking/shusshinh and that doesn't seem to help my DD at the moment. I really have no ideas and my sleep deprived state in inhibiting me from making any rational choices at the moment.
Things really need to change so that I can deal with my children during the day because the lack of sleep is really making me short tempered. So nay advice on this would be gratefully received.

I do sympathise - this happened to us about about 7 months too. I wonder if something as simple as changing your rubbing to patting might help in the first instance? That way you're not in constant contact with her, and you can slow down the rate of patting gently as she begins to drop off - she'll not be so disrupted by the removal of your hand.
The No-Cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley has lots of good tips, and I do think you're right - the best thing we did was agree on a plan and agree to stick to it - that way you're calmer, and that transmits to the baby.
We did shh/pat, then shh/hand-on (which may be counter-productive for you!), then shh next to cot and so on. It did take a few weeks, but worked very well, and when she got unsettled again over Christmas we just restarted a bit, and she settled again within a couple of weeks. Good luck.

I have just ordered the Pantley book. I hope that has some magic in it! I must admit that I dont shh, but DH does, perhaps that is also needed so that we can withdraw the body contact and shh from the door at a later point.

I do think you both need to do the same thing, and yes, the shh-ing (though a monumental pain in the arse that makes your lips hurt after 2 hours) adds in some continuity, I think. We did half hour shifts - sneakily swapping over in exaggerated comedy silence. Having an ipod or somesuch radio thing with earphones helps the time pass, as does a comfy chair. Also possibly a cup of tea/glass of wine...

Last night was much better. I had a plan and felt more confident about it all. DD only woke once, I bf her and then put her into bed awake. Only about 5 minutes of patting that eventually got softer and softer until I just removed hand and shhed instead.
Reading this thread and the corresponding links helped a lot.
I feel that today will be a little better.

Oh, brilliant, Mung. So pleased for you. And I bet DD loved it. Kiskidee talks a lot of sense, doesn't she?

Just to tell you that it may go a bit wrong from time to time, because of teeth, illness, blah blah, but don't worry - deep breath, go back a step, and it'll be ok!

Hope tonight goes well.