Hi there! Been lurking around mumsnet for a good while now and it is honestly the place I come for answer to questions I know someone else must’ve already asked. But I’m slightly at my wits end.
Been a nanny for 6ish years before having my own so I kind of know the drill when it comes to naps - at least I thought I did. It must be God playing a funny joke on me that my child is genuinely the WORST napper I’ve ever looked after! Haha.
So my lovely daughter is almost 9 months. I can count on one hand the amount of times (post sleep-regression) that she’s napped for longer than 40 minutes during the day. No matter what I do, she will not join those sleep cycles. I put her to bed earlier at night, keep her up later, I move nap times around, I try and be consistent then try and be flexible, I’ve tried shortening and lengthening awake windows, I’ve tried leaving her to see if she’ll go back off, I’ve tried consistent cot naps, contact naps, pram naps, naps in the dark with white noise, naps in daylight, got rid of the dummy, drowsy but awake, fully awake, fed to sleep… literally tried everything. She will simply not do it. I’ll spend some time trying to get her to go back off but she is AWAKE. Like… wired, after those 40 minutes.
Which means by the time bedtime rolls around, she’s not really had sufficient nap sleep despite the fact some days she ends up having three 40 minute naps. So her sleep is also pretty terrible. Most nights between the hours of 6/7-11/12, she will wake 4-5 times. Then after I’ve gone to bed I’ll co-sleep with her (the ONLY way I will get more sleep without sleep training which I refuse to do) she will usually wake up another 3-4 times, and eventually wake up between 7-8 in the morning.
I am running on poor sleep and I don’t really get any breaks during the day. Some days she will nap for 20 minutes then wake up, completely awake, and will not go back to sleep. I’ve been waiting and waiting for her to learn to ‘self-settle’ which she occasionally does with a bit of thumb sucking, but to no avail. I got rid of the dummy around 7 months because it was actually falling out and waking her, despite how tumultuous it was taking it away I’m almost tempted to give it back to her because she has the dexterity to pop it back in now, but she’s often too distressed when she wakes up to even consider that (she just waves her arms and legs around crying). The only thing that really comforts her to sleep is when she’s sucking something.
Shes generally a very happy and content baby… she’ll sit and play for 15 minutes happily by herself, is very smiley and chatty and quite independent, and will only really cry during the day if she is overtired, being dressed (haha) or scared/uncertain. She did just go through a huge leap (I think) about a week ago and I was hoping it would improve her sleep, but it just hasn’t. I know that being tired really is part of having a baby, but having looked after several under one’s myself, it just doesn’t seem okay how befuddled her daytime naps are. I can handle the broken nighttime sleep, but I just feel like if she had better daytime naps, her nighttime sleep would be better.
Tldr: 9 month old will not join sleep cycles for daytime naps or at bedtime much, despite trying literally EVERYTHING besides sleep training (which I will not do).
I suppose I’m looking for some solidarity, if someone out there is facing a similar problem. Also looking for helpful advice from anyone who knows about baby sleep, in terms of routines I could try etc.
Thank you for reading (if you did), I’m so grateful!