4-month-old can't be put down at all to sleep

[ali912]

DD is about to turn 4 months and we're in desperate need of some help please. She's been waking every hour for the last 7 weeks and then takes 30 minutes to resettle, leaving us with 30 minutes at a time all night long.

This was bad enough but since the regression hit last week she is now no longer able to be put down AT ALL. However long we hold her, even if she appears to be in deep sleep, as soon as we put her in the crib she wakes up. She refuses to take a dummy.

She's exclusively breastfed, has a good bedtime and naptime routine and sleeps for around 3.5 hours during the day (contact naps). She's generally a happy little thing, full of smiles. But she'll only fall asleep if fed or walked.

I've tried co-sleeping but even that doesn't work well as I have to keep her on the breast for 25 mins until she's in deep sleep. Plus I really need a chunk of uninterrupted sleep where my husband can take her.

What on earth are we meant to do? This just isn't sustainable. I don't see how to change her sleep association from feeding without some amount of crying and even if we did that it would probably wake up our toddler and lead to even more problems.

Husband and I are starting to feel very low. Please help :(

So sorry, I've had a similar thing with my 5 month old but I've been somewhat lucky that once he's down around 10 in the evening he'll sleep for 3 hours in his bed, then the rest of the time on me, usually downstairs reclined on the sofa, waking every hourish.
Only things I can suggest is making sure she's warm enough and well burped (especially if you are feeding to sleep). I'm having more luck with gripe water lately.
There have been times when I've taken him to the kitchen in the middle of the night, away from everyone else, and let him watch me getting bits at pieces ready for breakfast while holding him upright. This often calms him down and produces a burp. Then I take him to the TV in the living room and watch Hey Bear on YouTube (very quiet on reduced brightness) while he lies on his side in my arms. That usually gets him to drift off again without another feed, but it's a faff so I don't do it too often.
It's not ideal but I'm hoping things will fall into place more around 6 months.

I would suggest more layers she might be cold. I thought I had the 5 month regression but the reality was she was cold.

Other than that I think it’s just time my baby only does contact naps and to stop myself going batty with boredom I changed my mindset to there is no where else I’d rather be than cuddled up next to her…

Its tough you sound like you are doing an amazing job

This was our experience too until our son was six months old. I was so tired I was losing my mind.

So we sleep trained at 6 months using an app called “little ones” and I would do it again in a heartbeat. Lots of support from sleep experts. Very little crying involved (if there had been we would have stopped)- I would definitely call this gentle sleep training and not “cry it out” - more just a schedule of sleeps, naps, meals and snack. The theory being that once the naps are in place the nights take care of themselves. Within a few days our son was sleeping through for 12 hours and napping well. It did give us less flexibility to be our and about during the day - not everyone’s cup of tea- but totally worth it for us.

Our son is now 4 years and still sleeps 7-7 ish. Always sleeps well unless he is unwell.

Are you breastfeeding lying down when you cosleep? Maybe it's just because I'm knackered but I fall asleep breastfeeding before they do often (lying on my side) and can latch them back on half asleep so the wakes are less noticeable.

Thank you so much for your replies!

@Scramble1805 Really sorry you're going through this too - it's so exhausting! I'm pleased you get a chunk of time at the start at least. It's a very good point about burping her - I have to admit I've been bad at this recently so it could be contributing.

@Imogensmumma Thank you! I think you might have a point about her being cold - tonight I added another layer and she managed 2.5 hours in the crib. This is a great bit of progress even if it doesn't sound like much!

@NutsandPuffs This sounds brilliant - I'm a big fan of routine and don't have an issue with having to plan things around naps so will take a look. The fact your son is still a great sleeper now gives me hope!!

@Keha Yeah I've been lying down for feeds when co-sleeping - the issue is she doesn't unlatch by herself and it seems to just take her longer to reach deep sleep. I feel too worried to let myself fall asleep while I'm feeding and end up lying there for ages - it gets quite uncomfortable.

Hi. I am going through the exact same thing with my son who's almost 5 months.
It's breaking me. He doesn't sleep. Iv I put him down in his cot. He screams and wakes up. It's the hardest thing Iv ever had to endure. No sleep is ruining me and my family.
I'm here if you want to talk privately about anything.