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Original poster

Controlled crying/2,4,6,8/spaced soothing

9 replies

pregnancydiaries · 29/12/2022 16:27

Has anyone had a serial nighttime baby waker and used controlled crying for it to work?

My little guy (7months) wakes every 45 mins after 2am and having tried everything, our HV has suggested trying a gentle version of controlled crying.

I just don't see how it will work so looking for some experiences!!

OP posts:
superorganisms · 29/12/2022 16:33

Yep, we did it. It worked. You need to commit to a method and be consistent. Know that it'll likely be 3 days, maybe even a week, for you to see significant improvement, so you need to stay the course. There are lots of different ways of doing it (staying in the room, leaving the room, picking up, soothing in the cot, etc) so worth thinking hard about your baby and what they're most likely to respond to. And also, importantly, who - it's often easier for all of the dad does it (or the partner who is not the primary caregiver during the day). Good luck!

Original poster
pregnancydiaries · 29/12/2022 16:45

superorganisms · 29/12/2022 16:33

Yep, we did it. It worked. You need to commit to a method and be consistent. Know that it'll likely be 3 days, maybe even a week, for you to see significant improvement, so you need to stay the course. There are lots of different ways of doing it (staying in the room, leaving the room, picking up, soothing in the cot, etc) so worth thinking hard about your baby and what they're most likely to respond to. And also, importantly, who - it's often easier for all of the dad does it (or the partner who is not the primary caregiver during the day). Good luck!

Thanks so much for your reply. Really helpful.

Can I ask a little more about through the night wakes, do you do the same timed intervals then? My little boy is reasonably good at settling to sleep at the beginning of the night but I think his night wakes are now habitual, but the thought of those cries in the middle of the night when it's dark and silent...!!!xx

OP posts:
superorganisms · 29/12/2022 16:49

We did do timed intervals, but I've also read that random intervals can be useful, too, so they can't learn the pattern and expect your return. We did it for self settling at the start of the night as that was our main issue. I was happy to feed during the night for longer, but then one day we decided my partner would go in to her first and try to settle using the sleep training method, rather than feed. She went down and has slept through ever since! I do think they get into habits.

Original poster
pregnancydiaries · 29/12/2022 16:53

superorganisms · 29/12/2022 16:49

We did do timed intervals, but I've also read that random intervals can be useful, too, so they can't learn the pattern and expect your return. We did it for self settling at the start of the night as that was our main issue. I was happy to feed during the night for longer, but then one day we decided my partner would go in to her first and try to settle using the sleep training method, rather than feed. She went down and has slept through ever since! I do think they get into habits.

Ah that's such a interesting point about random intervals through the night, makes sense.

I feed my little one if he wakes in the night and is genuinely hungry but it's at the stage he's had big feeds and still just waking for chats, every.45.mins! I think it's time to give it a try...thanks so much x

OP posts:
superorganisms · 29/12/2022 16:56

Do try it but know that it only works if you commit and are consistent...I would be such a soft touch and really needed to rely on my partner's resolve to see it through!

user1474315215 · 29/12/2022 16:58

There's no such thing as a gentle version of controlled crying. It's brutal.

birdglasspen · 29/12/2022 17:06

It’s not brutal. What is brutal is trying to care for children when you haven’t slept enough. It will work if you commit to it. Get headphones or something to do and know you may have a night or two of bad sleep. Once you’ve done it you’ll wish you did it sooner. Your child will properly rested having learnt to sleep through the night instead of waking constantly.

superorganisms · 29/12/2022 17:16

birdglasspen · 29/12/2022 17:06

It’s not brutal. What is brutal is trying to care for children when you haven’t slept enough. It will work if you commit to it. Get headphones or something to do and know you may have a night or two of bad sleep. Once you’ve done it you’ll wish you did it sooner. Your child will properly rested having learnt to sleep through the night instead of waking constantly.

100%

TeddyBeans · 29/12/2022 17:45

I did it for DS when he was a lot older, imo there's nothing wrong with going back to them to reassure them time and time again. All you're doing is giving them a slightly longer opportunity each time to self settle.

What also might be worth trying is one of those white noise things that set off when they detect motion. It might be that he needs a bit of noise to help him back off to sleep. I used to set DS' Alexa to start playing lullabies at 2.30 because he used to wake up at 3ish. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't and then I did the controlled crying to get him back to sleep.

He sleeps like a dream now and it hasn't affected him in the slightest. He's a very happy little bean and we have an incredible relationship

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