Dummy- when to lose it?

[PumpkinLumpkin]

Wasn't sure where to put this but sleep seems to be the issue most affected so hoping to get some advice here...

My 15 month old has taken a dummy for naps and night time sleep from a few weeks old. He's been EBF from birth with no issues and still breastfeeding now. We had got to a lovely phase of him happily sleeping in his own room with one wake up in the night to breastfeed. I didn't mind as he'd take milk and go straight back to sleep in minutes, not walking again til the morning (slept 7-7).

I can live with one wake up like that and we're currently trying to get back to that, or hopefully drop the last wake up too. But he's going through a phase of waking up constantly through the night again. He had one sickness bug after another for a month straight and old habits of breastfeeding through the night for comfort/fluids he could keep down crept back in.

So now we're back to not feeding in the night and also trying to knock the one wake up on the head too. That's all fine except he's still bloody waking up endlessly when his dummy falls out. He still takes the newborn size dummy and has rejected any other kind. I was hoping this would have the benefit of him outgrowing the dummy naturally- maybe one day he'll just not be able to latch or get comfort anymore and so he'll naturally wean off of them 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm not sure if that's what's happening now and is the reason he's losing them at night all the time.

So my question is:

For those who's children took a dummy for sleep, when did you remove the dummy?Have we left it too late now? Part of me doesn't want to make our life harder by taking away a source of comfort, especially if I'm night weaning again, then it's nice to have that comfort when he's sick. Are we better waiting til he's old enough to understand the dummy fairy? That's a long time away however. But the dummies are orthodontic and only used for sleep. Is it so bad? Will he soon tire of them anyway because they are newborn size?

Thanks for reading, I keep going back and forth on what's best to do.

I'm just one mum and I know others have had different experiences, my eldest DD had it until 3 at night with no negative affects. To avoid the stress of not removing it my 4 yo DD still has hers and it's not damaging teeth or speech.

If you've other changes coming, I'd not rush to get rid of this comfort if it helps him sleep

We would scatter 6 dummies in the cot and DC was then able to find and reinsert one without help. Removed them at 3 years.

He's in bed with about ten dummies and still won't pick one up when he needs it! He used to so maybe it's just a phase we need to ride out and he's looking for comfort as he's teething too.

Yes, I'm inclined not to get rid of them at the moment as there's so much change, illness, teething etc etc that it seems cruel to remove a comfort item. Like taking away a teddy bear. I just wondered if it was causing more bother than it's worth at the moment.

Case in point, he woke 4 times going down for his nap today and I had to go in each time and give him his dummy. He used to just pick it back up himself 🤦🏼‍♀️ Maybe just a phase.

Has anyone stuck with the first size dummy and their children have naturally outgrown it and stopped using it?

We got our baby to replug them himself by tapping it on the mattress when he woke so he learned he had to find it himself. We wouldn't give it directly to him. He found get it from our hand and replug it. He started doing it at about 10 months and then managed to resettle himself. He's just turned one now and I don't plan on making life harder for myself by getting rid of it before I have to. It's lucky dip now whether he sleeps through or not but at least he does sometimes!

If he's stopped picking it up even though he's perfectly capable of doing so, I'd assume he's no longer that interested in it and would remove. You're supposed to get rid of them by 12m anyway.

We tried around a year and again at 18 months both times were a huge fail.

Instead we waited until she was 3 and could understand that she needed to give it up.

Most of my mum friends did the same, or got rid of it around 6 months.

This is reassuring. I think we'll wait and see if he naturally loses the latch and any interest in it due to it being the smallest size. If not then we'll do the dummy fairy when he's older.

As to the PP who says it should be taken away at 12 months, I'm not taking away his comfort and risking him becoming a thumb sucker like me. Dummies can be kept for sleep only, thumbs can't be taken away and I'm left with the teeth to show for it.