What sleep training worked for you?

[Pac35]

My LO is 9 months old & had slept in his own cot from day one.
Over the last 4 weeks his sleep has got much worse, he goes down about 8 (bf to sleep) then stays in his cot for 90 minutes. Then will just not go back in his cot. He will go back to sleep with feed, rocking, shushing etc but the second I put him in he screams.

He is still in our room because we live in a one bed place but moving this month so he'll have his own room

He is awake every 2 hours in the night. He's been in our bed for the last few weeks which helps . Prior to this he'd be up 1-3 times per night, easily settled with a feed or cuddle then back to cot.

Daytime naps usually 3 per day around 9.30, 1 and 4 ish

I'm keen to sleep train him but it's a total minefield. Not keen on total CIO but would like him to learn to self settle

What techniques worked for you? How long did you leave them to cry etc?

I'll be honest, a lot of people sleep train between 8-10 months but that is when separation anxiety is the main cause for a lot of babies night wakes.
My DD has terrible sleep from 9-10 months and then it settled back down again. From just before 12 months she started sleeping through the night.
She wakes every so often now but most of the time sleeps through.
I know it's really tough but while he's going through this I would just try and support him as he needs and it'll pass.
It could also be that he's having too many naps, usually would have cut down to 2 naps around now. Could you play around with his naps and see if you can cut them down to 2 as they might help some of the night wakes?

With self settling, they learn it in their own time and do get there without any sleep training.
I have been in the pits of rubbish sleep with DD and know how hard it is but also know that each time it's bad, it is a phase. The first 2 years are full of so much developmental stuff that their sleep goes up and down.

Stop feeding to sleep, as when he wakea in the night he wanta to feed to sleep again. You need to create new sleep patterns to help him fall asleep on his own.

For example my DS has a dummy and a comforter, when he has both of those in the cot he knows it is sleep time as he has had the same 2 things since 8 weeks old.

Controlled crying worked in two nights with my DD1 but it has only worked for DD2 a bit. She can go to sleep on her own but still wakes LOTS in night. She's 11 months old and is a right pickle!

My son's sleep went to shit around the same age. He managed to time his first wake to the second my eyes closed to go to sleep. So usually 10-11ish. If I was lucky he'd go back in his cot once, but more often he ended up in our bed for the rest of the night. He shares a room with his sister and I didn't want her being woken so wasn't keen on leaving him to cry.

I was at my wits end this time last year. Caved and bought a Sleepyhead Grande (the big one for 8-36m) in desperation and my god it's a miracle worker!! He went from 2-4 night wakes to literally 7-4 straight through. We had another few months of getting that 4am wake to something a bit more sociable, but he'd come in for a feed then usually sleep for another hour or so.

I know they're not recommend for overnight sleep etc but he was a big boy and I felt was past the point of suffocating himself in the night. The alternative was him lying with his head on my pillow and his feet on DH's pillow which seems much more risky! I bought the sleepyhead secondhand cos I couldn't face spending all that money on something that might not work. But knowing it's magical powers I'd happily shell out for the full whack. We weaned him off it in the summer as we were driving a long distance to stay with family and couldn't fit it in the car. He was fine and still sleeps through, 7-6ish.

Another thought is that it's time to drop a nap? Drop the 4ish one and bring his bedtime a little earlier? I think both mine were down to 2 naps by around that age.

This is so normal for this age! Typically sleep is the worst around 8-10 months and then starts improving pretty consistently from around 11 months, it’s developmental and you won’t have to do anything. It’s so hard though, but all babies sleep eventually!

DD is 7 months and we did what our sleep consultant called controlled comforting to encourage self settling when she was just under 5 months old and BF to sleep was no longer working. It does involve crying but, like your DD, she was crying anyway,
so I guess we wanted it to be constructive. I would never leave her to cry though.

We put her down drowsy after a big feed and stayed with her the whole time with our hand on her legs so she felt contained and reassured, and shhh’d, sang
twinkle twinkle little star and repeated “sleepy time (name)” until she fell asleep. It was hard the first few times, lots of protesting crying, but it got easier each day and resulted in fewer night wakings too. But we practically knew she was ready to learn to settle herself, it’s like she didn’t want to fall asleep feeding anymore and she’d cry as soon as I put her down.

During the night I can shhh her back to sleep and I do this if she’s waking up more, but I often just feed her back to sleep and she’s back down within 10 mins.

PM me if you want more info x

Deffo do not sleep train. It will happen naturally, sleep is developmental.
3 naps for a 9 month old is quite a lot. Have you tried dropping down to 2 naps? Your baby might just need a longer awake period before bed to build sleep pressure.

DD is experiencing the same issues OP. We’ve just dropped the third 4 pm nap and put bedtime at 6.30/7 instead of 8. It isn’t perfect as she’s quite tired between naps as can’t quite make the wake windows work as she wakes at 6 and can’t quite comfortably last the required time as her morning nap is so short despite my best efforts, but it’s better than it was and I’m trying to keep two naps now.

I agree with others it's a phase BUT we also had success around this age with a few days of DH doing all the night wake ups and offering sippy cup of water (not boob!) if it was the middle of the night. Fewer night wakes within a few days.. I didn't stop feeding to sleep in the first instance until much older.

My child was 12 months old and we were at the end of our tether. He was still up every 2 hours every night. One night we decided to let him cry and we sat outside his room for 20 minutes. After 20 mins he stopped crying and that was that. Slept through every night since then.

We started at 4 months. DS cried for ten minutes on the first night and then slept for 12 hours. He's slept right through every night since (except when poorly).

To be honest, I think we should have moved him to his own room sooner. I snore really badly and I think we were waking DS multiple times in the night. Once he was in his own room, he slept like a log.

This 100 percent

Gradual retreat. Did it at 7 months. First night she went from waking five times in the night to once and she's never looked back. We weaned off that last night feed shortly after.

My DS is 9.5 months and slept like a dream, all night in his own cot from day 1... until 7.5 months! He hit a sleep regression (my 1st DC was never effected by them) and his (and our) sleep went to pot. Like your DC, he'd go down and sleep for 90 minutes and then he'd wake crying. He'd fall asleep no problem being held but the minute I tried to put him down again he'd start screaming. This lasted for 3 LONG weeks before he returned to his routine. Now he's back to sleeping through, 7.30/8 - 6.30/7. He only has 2 naps now, late morning and late afternoon.

9 months is prime sleep regression age (and also as PP have said, when separation anxiety sets in). It will pass. I'm not a fan of sleep training.