Really hoping someone sees this shout into the void 🫠 I’m so sorry for the length of this and I hope I include as much info as poss.
My nearly 3yo DS is an absolutely atrocious sleeper. We have hourly sometimes half hourly wake ups every single night and this has been since birth.
Some background: he had severe silent reflux as a baby which went misdiagnosed by lots of doctors who thought it was colic/milk allergies etc until his paediatrician finally listened and gave us omeprazole which did help to settle him but still very frequent wake ups (this was when he was about 9 months, it was during covid so I try not to hold it against anyone too much but it was dire times), Following on from this he then developed the biggest tonsils known to man kind (the surgeon who took them out said he should have won an award for this beauties) and had very severe obstructive sleep apnea as a result which meant he was waking up screaming every 15 mins or so because he stopped breathing for 30 seconds every minute (I wish I was exaggerating, it was fucking awful). He was also drinking a lot of milk/shakes during this time as he physically couldn’t swallow (on peads advice) and so was very miserable, hungry and just generally sad a lot of the time so we were waking up a lot and giving him what he wanted as we were concerned about weight loss etc. He had them out in September this year which vastly improved his quality of sleep and we really thought we’d cracked it. He stopped drinking milk full stop and started drinking more water and eating more and was just a much much happier and more settled and more energetic child. Then he started chugging about 4 x 330ml of water a day followed by 3 x that a night. We were having to change his nappy regularly as otherwise he’d wake up soaked. It was really excessive but he was absolutely relentless so obviously was THAT thirsty. He never falls asleep with a beaker/drink so it’s not comfort.
We had him tested for diabetes which came back negative thankfully so the doctor advised to have a really rough period of cutting down water and see what happens. We cut down the water but he still wees a fair bit and needs changing etc which never seems to wake him up but I don’t think this is too problematic. HOWEVER, all of the time all of this has been going on some nights he will come into our bed for a cuddle and just lay there awake for hours and hours - he will do the same in his own bed too. For example; tonight he came into my bed at 1:30am and it’s now 5am and he’s only just gone back to sleep. We cuddle him, reassure him, recognise his fears and anxieties (he’s scared of the dark so we keep the hall light on). We try ignoring him, facing away from him, facing him so he can see us asleep, singing to him, just everything you could think of. Now he’s nearly 3 we are getting a lot of excuses as to why he’s not asleep I.e “my pillow isn’t cold/hot enough” and loads of small things like that. This goes on for hooooours some nights.
I think it is behavioural but my question is, how do I resolve this? I’m going to seek medical advice as it’s just not maintainable in the slightest and I really thought it would have passed by now but wondering if anyone has experience the same thing with their toddler? I have had the flu this week and been in bed since Friday meaning I’ve not been able to get up with him and my partner is just exhausted (we share getting up with him).
He doesn’t wake up at the same time every night and sometimes only will wake up a few times (depressing that we consider this a good night 🫠) but mostly it is hourly/2 hourly. He very rarely naps in the day but if he does it makes no difference to his sleep. He falls asleep perfectly at night and we have a good and calming bedtime routine. We do various stimulating bits in the day, clubs, nursery etc but nothing too overstimulating for him so I think he’s the right amount of tired (as in tired enough from the day but not so tired that he’s wired), I think I’ve mostly covered everything. Oh and he also has a weighted blanket which has made sod all difference to the tune of £50 and we’ve tried essential oils and all that jazz.
TIA!