Help! 8 week old won’t sleep unless being held

[Juke1]

Really hoping for some advice. Our son is 8 weeks old. He’s not been a great sleeper from the start, we had various issues with feeding which meant a lot of his early days were unfortunately spent quite hungry and not settling. He’s started medication for reflux last week, which doesn’t seem to have helped much yet.

He will easily fall asleep on me or my husband, but when we put him down in his Moses basket/bassinet or even on the bed he will wake up crying within 10 minutes (usually straight away). We fell into a habit of him sleeping on me in our bed so now husband is in the spare room and we are accepting of cosleeping, but this isn’t what we want long term. He’s still quite fussy about lying flat on the bed with me, and will only fall asleep on me about half the time.

I’m very worried we have set up a bad habit that we won’t be able to break!

I’ve read a million and one articles online…would be really keen to know what really worked for others with a similar issue!

it’s so hard isn’t it :(

So what we did was I got into bed at like 6pm after husband was done work and let baby sleep on him while he watched tv and then he brought the baby to me for feeds and let me go back alseep! Then we’d swap around midnight so I’d gotten a chunk of sleep at least and then could cope with the night -

have you tried to swaddle ?? We used a love to dream swaddle with the arms up and found it helped get her into the cot eventually

or could you just co sleep safely? Sleeping on you is dangerous - but if you look at lullaby trust for guidance and do it safely it’s fine - at one point we had mattress on floor against wall and I layered up and didn’t have blankets and had her sleep in crook of my arm

Sounds like you still aren't getting a great night's sleep now and he's only so little why don't you prioritise getting the best rest you can for a couple of months and try to move towards co sleeping on the bed more? Maybe in the spring when he is older and it's warmer try for bigger changes. You might run yourself into the ground getting him into the moses basket only for him to pick up a cold the next week and end up back in your bed.
You say you're worried you've made a bad habit but other than that are you actually unhappy with the situation? I realised that everyone else was hugely worried about me co sleeping with my baby but I get the best night's rest this way. Then when its the right time I will be physically ready to handle any sleepless night's when we change

Congratulations on your new baby.

Your baby is in the majority. For most newborns in the fourth trimester this is par for the course and I wish people were more aware of the reality of raising babies. So many people seem surprised that a baby who has known nothing but your heartbeat for nine months and feeling held by your body is suddenly going to want to be alone and feel nothing around them.

Sarah Ockwell Smith has a lot of tips. We took it in turns to sit up with baby (because we were unable to co-sleep for medical reasons or would have done this). Eventually things turned a corner and baby started being put down once in a deep sleep a few months in. Arms up Love2dream swaddles can help too.

You'll be fine!

Most babies are like your baby. This is normal for most babies in their fourth trimester, and I wish more people knew slime rancher 2 how hard it is to raise a child. So many people seem surprised that a baby who has only known your heartbeat and been held by your body for nine months will all of a sudden want to be alone and not feel anything around them.

This is very normal. It is tough, so so tough but it will get easier

We've had this...we tried everything but have found that settling DD on her side, then rolling gently onto her back while co sleeping with me has worked. I've then been able to bf lying down for night feeds and she's gone straight back to sleep after. My sleep is still very broken but I do feel somewhat rested now. I usually sleep from 8pm-11/12am and DH has DD on him, so I can get a few hours of good sleep. We are now working on transitioning to a co sleeping crib (she is almost 12 weeks), hit and miss so far!

Are you breastfeeding, if so can you breastfeed lying on your side with baby on the bed? Will they sleep like that?

Thanks everyone for your comments. They’ve made me relax about things! In answer to the poster who asked if I’m actually unhappy with things…I don’t think I am! I’m happy to spend my time holding him. I do worry about his safety when he’s not sleeping in a crib, and would appreciate a bit more sleep though…I’m sure it will improve with a bit more time though.

We are cosleeping (with husband in the spare room to make it safer). I’m breastfeeding now, he sometimes feeds lying down (amazing when he does) but unfortunately seems uncomfortable/windy when we try this the majority of the time.

Have you tried putting a thin cushion under the mattress in the Moses basket so your baby isn't lying completely horizontal? I'd try that first.

You're not "setting up bad habits"
This is completely normal for babies. Almost all babies are like this.
Look up "the 4th trimester".

There isn't much you can do other than just go with it.
It's good you've got help with your DH. Take turns holding the baby.
Honestly whilst it feels like its forever now, this is a stage that passes quickly.

My son was the same but by 12/13 weeks would start to be put down for a bit and that started becoming longer sessions.
By 4 months he was napping and sleeping in his Moses basket/cot without needing to be held.