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Original poster

Sleep training

25 replies

whatisfullsleep · 15/12/2022 09:10

My little one is 7 months and got some reason has decided he don't know how to stay asleep Xmas Shock

It's been a while now from when he goes down to bed and he up every 45 mins - 1.5 hrs all through the night and it's starting to really effect me 😭

I will not to the cry it out method but I need to try some type of sleep training as I think it's because he can't self settle.

Please hit me up with any that have worked for you??? I'm willing to try all of them and literally can't function on a day to day basis 😫

OP posts:
SunshineAndFizz · 15/12/2022 09:17

How do you get him to sleep now? He needs to be able to go down awake and fall asleep himself (i.e. not bottled or boobed or rocked to sleep).

Research how to do 'self soothing'. You put them down awake and go in and 'soothe' them (i.e. pat, shhh etc to calm them down without picking them up). Then leave when they're settled. Keep repeating. Takes a few nights but worth it!

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 15/12/2022 09:35

@SunshineAndFizz yeah usually he falls asleep by feeding on me which I find really hard not to happen as his naps are due when he feeds.

I'll look into it. Be some rough nights but I need some decent sleep!!!

Thank you

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Teaandcrumpets95 · 15/12/2022 09:40

No advice on the sleep training but my lo is 8 months and from 6.5 months has been doing exactly what you describe! It's been brutal and he's been spending at least half the night in bed with me tbh.

But- I feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel as he's now been improving and doing 4/5 hrs start of night then waking after 3ish hours. I didn't do any training or anything just been riding it out. Just wanted to share in case it doesn't work out.

SunshineAndFizz · 15/12/2022 09:40

@whatisfullsleep it's tough, lack of sleep is so hard.

If he falls asleep while feeding, you need to wake him up - do his nappy or something - and then put him down. Feels crazy at first to wake a sleeping baby, but you need to teach him how to sleep rather then doing it for him. Otherwise he'll always need you to get back to sleep in the night.

Good luck x x x

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 15/12/2022 09:51

Teaandcrumpets95 · 15/12/2022 09:40

No advice on the sleep training but my lo is 8 months and from 6.5 months has been doing exactly what you describe! It's been brutal and he's been spending at least half the night in bed with me tbh.

But- I feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel as he's now been improving and doing 4/5 hrs start of night then waking after 3ish hours. I didn't do any training or anything just been riding it out. Just wanted to share in case it doesn't work out.

Yeah same here. Just to get some sleep he was coming into our bed early hours. We did stop this however last night he was back in with us as I'm just so knackered.

Thank you!! Hopefully there is some light at the tunnel soon 😫 It's just brutal because you know it'll be the same tonight and the next night!!

I'm glad you are finally managing to get some decent block of sleep!!

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Calphurnia88 · 15/12/2022 16:41

Teaandcrumpets95 · 15/12/2022 09:40

No advice on the sleep training but my lo is 8 months and from 6.5 months has been doing exactly what you describe! It's been brutal and he's been spending at least half the night in bed with me tbh.

But- I feel like there's light at the end of the tunnel as he's now been improving and doing 4/5 hrs start of night then waking after 3ish hours. I didn't do any training or anything just been riding it out. Just wanted to share in case it doesn't work out.

My experience has been similar and at 9mo is giving the occasional 6+hr stretch which feels amazing (although a recent cold has put a slight spanner in that).

@whatisfullsleep before you ST have you considered whether you need to make any changes to daytime sleep? I think some of our sleep improvements are down to age, but also stretching his awake time during the day (resulting in a later bedtime) as it was becoming apparent that he wasn't tired enough at bedtime.

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 15/12/2022 17:51

@Calphurnia88 yeah I try and follow the wake windows to an extent as I'll adjust it if he is showing signs of being tired before or if he is happy to be awake a little longer.

He usually has 3 naps a day. I mean sometimes these are 30 mins per nap whereas today it's been:
1 hour in the morning
1 hour early afternoon
30 mins later afternoon

I've downloaded huckleberry so I can track them a bit better!

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Calphurnia88 · 15/12/2022 18:51

OK so a lot of sleep stuff is very baby dependant but I can tell you what's worked for us...

Any attempts to follow recommended wake windows by age (the ones you find on Google search) have been futile for us as it became apparent fairly early on that our baby was not tired enough to sleep when he 'should' have according to the the internet. He also doesn't really show sleepy cues so it's been a constant process of trial and error as his sleep needs have changed as he's got older 🙃

Anyway, at 6 months he started fighting his 3rd nap. At almost 9 months he is coping very well on 2 naps and finally giving us longer stretches at night, but I would say that 7 months was a difficult period as he transitioned down and it took a few weeks to settle into a good routine.

You obviously know your baby best but it might be worth playing around with daytime sleep to see if it improves things?

Calphurnia88 · 15/12/2022 18:56

Should add, at 7 months there's obviously a whole load of other stuff happening. Introduction of solids, becoming more mobile (rolling, crawling, etc), teething. All of these things can have a negative impact on sleep!

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 15/12/2022 21:00

@Calphurnia88

Thank you! Yeah we try follow his lead with naps. As I know once he is awake in the morning he needs a nap fairly soon after.

Yes seems to be a lot going on with him development wise and he also seems to be teething which probably isn't helping.

I'm hoping the teeth will settle down soon and then over the Christmas holidays we are going to try and tackle it together as my OH won't be working and getting up super early 🤞🏼

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solomumbychoice · 15/12/2022 22:27

From what you just literally said... needs a nap quite soon after waking. This would be a good idea to change. Otherwise they think it's part of the night's sleep and they aren't bothered about getting the overnight sleep. So try and elongate that awake window gradually. Give daylight, stimulate LO....ideally 2 hours later the first nap happens maybe?

SuburbanMummy123 · 15/12/2022 22:31

We used this guide for night time (linked, hopefully). It’s a tough couple of nights but worked wonders for us. We also gave him a comforter, quite loud white noise all night, and blackout blinds. Good luck! Link

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 16/12/2022 04:13

solomumbychoice · 15/12/2022 22:27

From what you just literally said... needs a nap quite soon after waking. This would be a good idea to change. Otherwise they think it's part of the night's sleep and they aren't bothered about getting the overnight sleep. So try and elongate that awake window gradually. Give daylight, stimulate LO....ideally 2 hours later the first nap happens maybe?

Yeah I will play around with this nap and see!

I mean some days we are up and doing the school run (we walk) and then about an hour or just over he is knackered and is wanting to go back to sleep! But then other days we aren't doing the school run.

I'll stretch him out longer today and see how we go!

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Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 16/12/2022 04:17

'@SuburbanMummy123

Yes we also have white noise, his mussy (comforter) and a red night light on in his room! no link attached I'm afraid 😫

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BuffaloCauliflower · 16/12/2022 04:28

Your expectations are wrong, sleep goes up and down constantly throughout the first year, even 2, it’s not meant to just improve linearly. They don’t need training out of their normal biology, and you can’t train them to sleep anyway, only to not signal when they need you. Self soothing is biologically impossible for a child this age, they cannot support themselves through any of the reasons they wake. I know it’s hard when you’re tired but they’re waking because they’re developing and growing rapidly and they need you.

sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/

BuffaloCauliflower · 16/12/2022 04:30

The science behind wake windows is flimsy at best too, they’re just averages and every baby is different. If you want something to follow look up the Possum's Method that actually works with their biology not against it

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 16/12/2022 08:11

@BuffaloCauliflower yes I know their sleep changes all the time! And we have had changes since he was born and they are usually only phases as it'll change again a few weeks/month later so really that's what I'm hoping for.

A lot of the time be just needs rocking back to sleep that's why I thought maybe he just needs to be able to self settle as he can wake up 3 times within an hour sometimes.

I don't mind getting up and feeding/changing him and not expecting him to sleep 8-7 just a little longer stretches would be nice rather than 45 mins 😂.

Thank you. I will have a look at that.

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BuffaloCauliflower · 16/12/2022 08:28

I know self settling feels like a holy grail when they need a lot of input to sleep, but being able to fall back asleep without help is developmental, they get there when they’re ready like crawling and walking. Cosleeping saved me during the most wakeful periods, if baby is just in bed with you it’s a lot quicker and easier to soothe them than if you have to traipse around the house at night

PinkPlantCase · 16/12/2022 08:36

Hi OP, my DS was exactly the same at this age. Baby may well be going through a growth spurt and needs more milk or they might just need more comfort from you right now.

I know the idea of it might sound really difficult but if you were to do nothing, change nothing then the sleep absolutely will get better on its own.

To make it easier we used to decide on a time in the night that we would co-sleep from, maybe 3am. Our baby would also be happy to take expressed milk from a bottle so my DH could do some wake ups and I could get more sleep. Is your partner stepping in to help settle the baby an option for you?

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 16/12/2022 08:54

@BuffaloCauliflower yes think I may just wait it out tbh! We do get him in our bed sometimes as like you said it means we do get better sleep!

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Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 16/12/2022 08:56

@PinkPlantCase Yeah maybe it's a big developmental stage for him. Bless him haha.

Yeah my partner usually does the from bed to about 1-2am getting up and then I take over as he has got to be up for work.

My little one does occasionally take a bottle more so at night too as he is more sleepy at that time so we do make a bottle up.

Fingers crossed it'll just improve over time and I'm not a walking zombie for to much longer Smile

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Calphurnia88 · 16/12/2022 09:05

Just seen your latest replies @whatisfullsleep and whilst I'm a big fan of following your babies lead in regards to sleep, first nap an hour after waking does seem quite soon for a 7mo.

Hopefully tweaking this might help get you some longer stretches but it can take a few days.

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 16/12/2022 09:08

@Calphurnia88 yeah I'm definitely going to try the longer stretch in the morning for a while and see if it makes a difference 🤞🏼

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Msmbc · 16/12/2022 20:39

There's plenty of sleep training methods that are gentler than cry it out and that work OP. Just posting as so far you've only got replies from the sleep training is cruel/unnatural brigade. Have a search for gentle sleep training/alternatives to CIO and you'll find loads of threads. Good luck - a happy mother makes for a happier baby

Original poster
whatisfullsleep · 17/12/2022 16:13

@Msmbc thank you haha. You do read positive outcomes of those who have tried the more gentle approach so I'm going to give it a few days and maybe try it.

I cut his naps down to two a day yesterday and today and he is sleeping so much better/longer with these.

He did so well last night until we moved him back onto his back as he can't roll onto his back yet, just front 😐 Rookie error from us as it was downhill from then lol!

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