Breastfeeding to sleep/cosleeping habit

[KazMa]

My DS just turned 7 months old and we have been co sleeping since the dreaded 4 month sleep regression. Need advice on how to transition him into his own cot & bedroom as he is breastfed to sleep!

For a month now I am able to BF to sleep and then leave him in his cot in his own room for nap times and he will sleep 45mins to an hour per nap (3x per day). But at night he will wake up and only go back to sleep if he is laying & feeding next to me in my bed. (Eg, bedtime at 8pm but he’ll wake at 8:45 and won’t go back to sleep)

any advice? I am against any sort of leaving him to cry

No advice but waiting for ideas as I've got a 6 month old who I currently bedshare with who I'm hoping to move out soon as they've started waking more.

I just rode it out. Eventually (at about 13m) the gaps between wake ups suddenly got longer and longer and she started asking for the boob less overnight. Now at 18m she generally sleeps for at least six hours before asking the boob, sometimes eight or nine and is learning to roll over and try to go back to sleep in her cot. I still feed to sleep then transfer to her cot. If I go out for the odd evening she'll sleep in her dad's arms without milk.

Caveat: I am against any form of teaching my children about sleep and firmly believe it's our job as parents to comfort them every time they wake until they learn in their own time how to (sometimes) do it themselves.

Can you turn the cot into a floor bed by taking one side down and legs off it? Then you could lie next to him to feed and roll away. I’ve done this with mine, I also started cosleeping due to the 4 month regression and he’s also 7 months now. I still sleep next to him on our spare mattress but if he ever starts sleeping longer stretches I’ll start leaving to sleep in my actual bed.

Find a safe Co sleeping situation and go with it. You won't have this time back- baby is fussing cos they want you to be close, is there any sweeter love.
It won't be forever.
FWIWi breastfed till they were 3. Struggled at times, cried, wished I could stop but loved it really and the bond we have now is wonderful!

Sounds very tough.

Do you definitely want to end feeding to sleep? Sometimes when things at desperate you feel like you want a magic solution and you must be doing something wrong.... It's a way mum's have been settling their babies to sleep since the dawn of time.

If you definitely want to stop: have you heard of the Pantley pull-off? It's from the no-cry sleep solution. Very helpful with one of mine (NOT a good sleeper, his eczema wakes him up).

If you aren't quite decided, can I recommend working on extending I of the naps? I read in the gentle sleep book that contrary to what you see on websites, many babies don't link sleep cycles without help until about 9 months. My boys were both short mappers at that are, and then see overtired at night and woke a lot. If I caught them just as they were stirring and fed them back to sleep before they fully woke up then they'd be soooo much happier. With all 3 of mine, once they got into the habit of a long nap they soon didn't need help getting through the transition. My boys are 2 now, and both have been happily having a 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the day (fed to sleep most days) for the last 15 months.

FWIW, even if you free then to sleep, they will still learn to sleep better! I'm due its not as fast as if you don't, but I just don't have the constitution for CIO! My eldest woke for a wee until she was 3.5, but I get her to sleep till she was 2.5 and 1 night waking was fine by me. One of my boys feeds to sleep every night and sleeps through about twice a week, and only wakes once on most other nights. The only regular waker is the one that for want to feed to sleep!!!

If you want to make a change to speed things along, that's absolutely fine and if highly recommend Elizabeth Pantley's book for strategies. But don't feel you HAVE to - I often felt like the internet claimed you must let babies cry until they self-settle, which just wasn't me. Never sleep trained my eldest and she's a totally normal, happy sleeper. Of my boys, the better sleeper still feeds to sleep! 🙄

I just stuck with feeding to sleep, it ends naturally just past two.
My first was a rubbish sleeper woke frequently. My second, I feed to sleep in a double bed, roll out and she remains asleep until 4 or 5 am and has done since she was one.

Another vote for carry on co- sleeping. I slept in a double mattress with my first on the floor and eventually could roll away after a feed and they would stay asleep. They do grow out of feeding to sleep, it just takes a while.

Why the rush to get him in his own room? Honestly you’re just making more work for yourself, if you’ve got to go to another room every time he wakes. Just keep cosleeping and make like easy for yourself, when he’s ready to sleep alone it’ll be obvious

I took one side off a cot bed and shoved it next to our bed so baby is technically in their own cot but feels as though they're Cosleeping. Still using it with my 3rd who's now 1 🙈
If you don't want baby in the same room at all you could always get a floor bed? That way you could lay with them and then roll away?

Never worked for me, my 17m still breastfeeds to sleep (and a million times through the night) so she's still in with us 🫠