3 week old - sleeps all day, awake all night

[MrsSmith1993]

Hi all,

I am a first time mum with 3 week old DS and last week DH went back to work. My DH is a builder so I made the decision for me to move into the nursery in a single bed as I am terrified of DH being kept awake all night and having an accident at work.

DS sleeps like an angel all day in his Moses basket but in the living room whilst I'm downstairs, waking for feeds and changes then falls straight back to sleep. Then at night the Moses basket goes up in the nursery and within 10-15 minutes he's crying. Then from about 12-5 he will only sleep in my arms and if I try put him in his basket he screams the house down so I end up holding him.

I have tried everything; swaddling, shushing, rocking, dummy etc etc and nothing is working. I did wonder if it's the change from the living room to the nursery so I tried me sleeping on the sofa, with him in his Moses basket and it was the same.

I just get the feeling that 12-5 is his awake and fussy time where he just wants me to cuddle him. It was exactly the time he would be active when I was pregnant. I have almost fallen asleep with him in my arms a few times and it has terrified me. I feel like I am doing everything wrong and I am exhausted and feel like a terrible mum.

Is this normal for a newborn? Do I just accept those hours are his awake time? Will he grows out of this and is there anything I do to alter his sleep pattern?

Thank you in advance for your help x

Sorry this is normal. Get them out in the fresh air every day outside. Lots of natural light. Then keep nights dark then they will get use to day / night but it took about 10 weeks for us

Yes it's totally normal. They will tend to start going longer stretches by about 3 months old. Have a read about the fourth trimester online. I ended up co-sleeping with my second because it was the only way either of us got any sleep. Obviously don't do this if you're on the sofa or in a single bed though and it's advised only if you're breastfeeding. Other than that just keep doing what you're doing in terms of good habits like a dark room at night, fresh air in the day (even if they are asleep) white noise at night, cool room, not too many clothes at night etc and try to rest as much as you can during the day when baby is asleep. Xx

Completely normal..my 10 week old was like this until around 6-7 weeks. Except she has never slept in her moses basket, only on us or in sling. As pp said, get out in the mornings to help reset their body clock. Keep daytimes noisy and bright, evenings quiet. I think it's just something you have to ride out unfortunately, but it is bloody hard! Can your partner take over early am to give you an hour or two of sleep then?

"DS sleeps like an angel all day in his Moses basket but in the living room whilst I'm downstairs, waking for feeds and changes then falls straight back to sleep."

And here is your problem. Your DS doesn't yet know days and nights. Your baby shouldn't sleep all day, then be expected to sleep all night too.

He should be having some awake time during the day - playing on a playmat; tummy time etc. Usually newborns can't really stay awake more than an hour so you need to gently encourage some day time awake time then down for feed/naps. Yes newborns sleep a lot but not 24 hours.

@bravelittletiger thank you for this! I just had a Google on fourth trimester and really helped me see through my DS eyes rather than my very exhausted ones x

Get outside in the morning for a decent walk so his bodyclock starts to understand light and dark.

Put his crib downstairs next to the window.

We did these things because mine had jaundice and needed to be in the light, but it did seem to help with nighttime sleep too.

I would suggest trying to keep baby awake more during the day.
Sleeping, feeding and straight back to sleep means no time for them to actually get tired

Even at 3 weeks, Ds would be awake at least 1-2hrs inbetween naps.

Thanks all. I have tried keeping him up during the day playing with playmat etc and he just falls asleep on it ha. I will try taking him out in the pram - not yet done as only just recovering from c section wound complications

I actually think it's very normal for a 3 week old to be asleep pretty much all day. You'll start to see more awake time soon.

They don’t develop the hormones that allow them to know day from night until about 12 weeks, so its kind of futile to try and change what feels natural to them at this point. Good news if you don’t have other children yet so can rest when baby rests. But some things to help start building that circadian rhythm

• get natural light and fresh air as soon as possible in the morning
• don’t try keep quiet during the day, normal day time noises to contrast with night being quieter and darker.

but really you’re best bet is just try and go with the flow.

It is definitely normal for them to be asleep a lot in the day. They’re asleep most of the 24 hours at this stage

Sadly it's normal. If he will sleep without being held in the day then sleep when he sleeps at much as you can.

Also try shifts with your DH so as soon as he gets home from work he is on holding baby duty while you go up to bed, and you swap at 11pm/whenever gives him time for a decent sleep.

Swap beds with DH. I have a 6 wk old and we share the double bed so I’m not worried about rolling on him or him falling out of bed. DH sleeps in single bed. The problem (for me anyway!) was the Moses basket. My first DS would just cry as soon as I put him in it. Safely co sleep and you’ll get loads more sleep. I’ve got 4 kids and co slept with the second one onwards and got so much more sleep! Then I put them in their own rooms at 4 months because I wanted my bedroom back :)

Thanks all. Coslept with him last night which made a difference but I spent all night terrified of rolling onto him so I've just bought a Next2Me cot. Fingers crossed that helps. Thanks for all of your advice x

@MrsSmith1993 if you sleep in the cuddle curl position that’s recommended you cannot roll, your arm and knees will stop you - give it a go.