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Original poster

11month old sleep problems

15 replies

Stefstef29 · 03/12/2022 08:10

Hi all,

My daughter is 11 months old and hitting all her milestones so far but sleep has always been difficult for her and in turn has been a huge struggle for us.

I feel as though her sleep isn't getting better, she can be awake for hours at night. I feed her change her, teething gel, do everything I can but she is just wide awake. I have done alot to try and help her by even adjusting her daytime naps, making them shorter, I look at warmth so make sure she's not too cold and not too hot. She's not crying in pain and most of the time just wants to play.

Last night she went down for 7pm, woke up at 10.30pm and didn't sleep until 1.30am and then woke up ready for the day at 7am (waking up at 5.30am briefly).

My family members seem to think there's something wrong with her, I don't have any friends or family members who can relate as their little ones sleep was never this bad. I'm back at work for a few days a week so it's trying when I'm due in the next day.

I've spoken to the health visitor and I'm just told it's normal but it doesn't feel normal.

Any advice would really help :(

OP posts:
PritiPatelsMaker · 03/12/2022 21:07

I think it's within the realms of normal but I would start putting her down a little later, say her 15 mins every few days until you get to 8pm.

Is she getting enough milk and food in the day? Is there any way that you can get more food in?

Original poster
Stefstef29 · 03/12/2022 21:17

Thank you for responding PritiPatelsMaker.

I can try and make 8pm her bedtime, she use to want to sleep at 6pm so 7pm is definitely an improvement.

Food and milk- she has 3 meals a day, milk 3 times a day including bedtime. We are looking at helping her put on some weight as she's a dainty little thing and we're finding she's put weight on the last couple of weeks which is fab.

I just feel helpless when she's just wide awake at night, gets me down which I'm sure is normal.

OP posts:
PritiPatelsMaker · 03/12/2022 21:22

I just feel helpless when she's just wide awake at night, gets me down which I'm sure is normal

Sleep deprivation is awful, I really sympathise Flowers

If she's dainty, I'd concentrate on getting some more calories into her during the day. So add mascarpone or olive oil to food or replace a snack with a light meal, like cheese on toast.

We had some success with the No Cry Sleep Solution too Wink

Original poster
Stefstef29 · 05/12/2022 02:50

I'm not convinced it's her calorie intake as we are on it with that side of things.

Shes been awake for nearly 2 hours and it's 3am.

I'm at the end of my tether if I'm honest doctors and hv can't help.

OP posts:
quietnightmare · 05/12/2022 03:02

How small is she? Is she in clothes much smaller than her age? I only ask because my smaller babies were worse sleepers than my bigger one

Take off babies bed sheet and cuddle it for a bit before bed to get your scent on it

White noise, brown noise, pink noise, oven sounds, heartbeat sounds try those

Do you do the same routine every night? Bath with lavender, lavender body cream, baby massage, fresh pjs, story and quiet time then bed

Try a banana before bed

Try a little later with one of mine stayed up until about 11pm and would then sleep right through until half 8-9. Controversial I know but otherwise 7pm bedtime I would have the same problem as you

Are you tiring her out in the day enough? Walks etc

Smaller naps

Atleast 3.45 hours of awake time before bed?

Original poster
Stefstef29 · 20/12/2022 03:35

Weight wise she's I'm 9 to 12 months but she's long, had her weighed and she's just under her percentile but she's grown in height so the doctor isn't worried. I do everything I can to build on calories and healthy balanced meals.

We've always used white noise, she has a small soft light so she's not completely in the night.

We do have the same bedtime routine and she can fall asleep independently but in the middle of the night she just sits in her cot bed.

Since this post she's cut out her 2nd nap which makes things harder because I find she's overtired then can't last for a later bedtime.

We're finding she's awake most nights for an hour atleast and as she approaches turning 1 I just worry.

OP posts:
lennolin · 20/12/2022 03:54

My first was a horrendous sleeper. And eater. Then suddenly ate everything. But doesn't need as much sleep as 2nd son. But could never force him to sleep more so stop worrying. It was my older neighbor who said if he's clever he sleeps less. Just like adults, do you have a strict bedtime every night? If he isn't tired you will spend more time trying and stressing than waiting until he's tired and will go to sleep

Dishvtidyxtkep · 20/12/2022 04:05

I’ve found you just have to wait it out. My son who is now 19 months was THE WORST sleeper, to the point where I would actually cry with him. He would go to sleep around 8, wake up at 10 and cry until 11:30; fall asleep, wake up at 1:30 and scream until 4:30/5am, wake at 6am and begin his day. This went from about 10 months until 17 months and I very nearly went insane.
Leaving him to cry didn’t work he would just go for hours (and it broke my heart), going and giving a cuddle then coming back didn’t work either. I just sat next to his cot for hours at a time while he tried to fall asleep and now finally at 18 months one day he grabbed a story sat down by his cot, waited for me to read it. Laid down in his cot and slept through the night. Was the strangest thing to wake up and not be exhausted. I laid there when he’d normally wake up just waiting for him.

He has some bad night but they are way less often maybe once every other week (having one right now as I’m typing this. He can’t seem to get sound enough asleep for me to go.)

Original poster
Stefstef29 · 22/12/2022 19:25

Thank you for everyones replies.

I think you're all right, I neped to ride this out. I also keep having this overwhelming sense of guilt because one day she's not going to need me as much and I'll miss all of this. Since my last response she's done much better with food and even put some weight on which is a relief. We've dabbled with her naps and in the midst of this, she wants to drop her 2nd nap but I just feel she gets overtired so battling with this at the moment.

I've come to understand its just not me struggling, I don't have many friends with babies of similar age and so they don't remember how they handled sleep problems as it was such a long time ago for them!

Your response to my post have not only assured me but given me some tips so I thank you all.

OP posts:
Fieldings15 · 22/12/2022 20:15

Solidarity - your little one sounds similar to mine. He’s a little older (13 months) but although I feel like I’ve tried everything, most nights he wakes up multiple times and is sometimes awake for an hour or more. My first was also a fairly rubbish sleeper but was sleeping through the night by 1 year after I did some sleep training (Ferber type method). However that didn’t work at all with this one! Coming to the same conclusion that will just have to ride it out, but it is very hard especially now I’m back at work. We’ve resorted to a camp bed in his bedroom and take in turns sleeping in there with him.
Good luck, hope it improves for you soon!

Original poster
Stefstef29 · 06/03/2023 04:48

Hi all, she's 14 months and still does the same, wakes up for over an hour. Full meals and snacks in the day and a banana everynm night before bed.

She can fall asleep independently but when she wakes up in the night she's just wide awake. She dropped her 2nd nap and I can't get it back.

I am calling the health visitor in the morning as I really don't know what to do :(

OP posts:
sunflowerandivy · 06/03/2023 05:06

Hiya. I have a 13 month old who is a big fan of the split night. Every night is a split night (except tonight where I'm wide awake since 3:00 because of my body clock thinking its wake up time). Normally wakes between 2-4:30 for 1-2 hours. This has been going on for as long as I remember. She use to also wake at around 10pm too. She can definitely self settle. Eats amazing.
I've tried everything. EVERYTHING.
She is down to 1 nap. 12-2pm ish. I wake her after 2 hours. More daytime sleep worsens night waking. This is very common I think. It's bloody awful. My body and brain are broken.

sunflowerandivy · 06/03/2023 05:10

The health visitor will do nothing. There's nothing wrong. Some babies just do this and grow out of it. I've stopped fighting it and accepted it. My first child use to sleep beautifully all night until 4:45 then be up for the day. She's 5 now and loves her sleep and sleeps 7:30-7. It's rubbish having a bad sleeper. It's not fair!

Lazyhazydays · 06/03/2023 06:25

The HV helped with my ds when sleeping badly, she gave me tips and things to try and it really helped. She was very supportive of trying to get us all some proper sleep. It probably depends on the HV but it's worth a try. Good luck

Justbecause19 · 06/03/2023 06:30

What is she doing when she's awake? Crying or just chatting away to herself in her cot? I wouldn't go in unless she is upset. It sounds like it could be a habit wake now. How active is she during the day? Lots of crawling/toddling round and getting out for fresh air etc?

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