Co sleeping routine?

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somethingfunny · 29/11/2022 02:11

Stick with it, in a few weeks you'll be able to put your baby down in the crib in the evenings. With my first, she would fall asleep on me until I was ready to go to bed and then co-sleep, until she was old enough to start an evening routine, where I'd feed to sleep then put her in her crib. With my son I went to bed early and watched TV in bed whilst he slept.
With both kids around 8-12 weeks suddenly I was able to put them down without them waking up, both for naps and for bedtime, so I got my evenings back at that point. I still find it easier to co-sleep once they wake up for the first time, it works for us and everyone gets more sleep.
In terms of later, my daughter started sleeping through the night by around 15 months, so stopped co-sleeping then unless she was ill or had a nightmare. My son is 8 months old and still co-sleeps after the first night wake, but as he gets older and sleeps longer stretches that'll naturally reduce.

ChildcareIsBroken · 29/11/2022 02:32

I either keep my baby on me (or my partner) until it's time for bed or I can leave baby in bed for couple of hours before I go to bed myself (he's over a year old now, I wouldn't do that before). Although most nights I'm so tired we go to sleep at the same time.

And I wouldn't worry about 7pm bedtime, it doesn't work for most babies (or it does but then they wake up at 4am). My babies went to bed anything from 7-11pm.

Carbon12 · 29/11/2022 02:47

Same as PP.

My 10 week old falls asleep in either mine or hubby's arms, so she chills with us until I go to bed which is around 10.30pm.

I then lay her next to me (which usually wakes her up) so I latch her and we fall asleep that way.

I want to get her to start sleeping in her crib though for at least the first portion of the night, so I'll start a bedtime routine soon, but I have no idea how it'll go and whether she'll sleep independently.

She sleeps on her tummy for naps - it's the only way she sleeps on her own 😭

Original poster

Richtea67 · 29/11/2022 06:46

Thanks all, it's helpful to hear how this has worked . We'd like to persist with the crib so we at least can get the first evening stretch in there....problem is we're trying it nighty she may last anything from 2-20mins but once she wakes she's so upset for the next couple of hours. Maybe she's just not developmentally ready and it's something we should try every few days instead? And just keep her with us in our arms in the lounge for now until i go to bed. Have other people had negative comments from family members about co sleeping? They don't understand she just will not settle any other way!

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RainbowUnicornPoo · 29/11/2022 06:51

Isn't the guidance to not put baby down to sleep in a different room to you until 6 months? I thought that included for a few hours in the evening.

changingitforthisone · 29/11/2022 06:59

Richtea67 · 29/11/2022 01:57

Hi, 9 week old sleep nightmare has resulted in co sleeping for thr sake of all our sleep and sanity. I've have been massively stressing about this, but persisting with the cot is resulting in an inconsolable baby and frustration as we feel like we're failing. So I've decided to embrace the co sleeping for now, and try not to worry too much about the longer term. However....can I ask for those that have co slept what your evening routines were like? I'd like DD to have a decent bedtime routine and go to bed a reasonable time, but I don't want to go ti bed myself at 7pm! How has this worked? Have you kept baby up with you in thr lounge sleeping on you, then settled in bed with them later? What routine has worked best in terms of setting up good sleep habits in the longer term? It would be nice to start having some downtime with DH in the evenings, but not sure if this is possible with co sleeping....

I put bedguard on my bed, I would settle him down then I'd go downstairs with the baby monitor to keep an eye on him whilst having some me time after I'd done my little house chores.

QuiltedHippo · 29/11/2022 07:04

Baby should be in the room with you for all naps and sleep until 6 months (12 months in some countries) to protect against SIDs. Let them sleep on you while you watch TV together then go to bed as a family. No need to make life hard for yourselves. It will pass and get easier I promise

ChildcareIsBroken · 29/11/2022 08:37

Richtea67 · 29/11/2022 06:46

Thanks all, it's helpful to hear how this has worked . We'd like to persist with the crib so we at least can get the first evening stretch in there....problem is we're trying it nighty she may last anything from 2-20mins but once she wakes she's so upset for the next couple of hours. Maybe she's just not developmentally ready and it's something we should try every few days instead? And just keep her with us in our arms in the lounge for now until i go to bed. Have other people had negative comments from family members about co sleeping? They don't understand she just will not settle any other way!

Ignore the negative comments. In other parts of the world cosleeping is completely normal and all children sleep independently eventually. Right now you're forming secure attachment with your baby and that is the best foundation for your future relationship.

ChildcareIsBroken · 29/11/2022 08:38

RainbowUnicornPoo · 29/11/2022 06:51

Isn't the guidance to not put baby down to sleep in a different room to you until 6 months? I thought that included for a few hours in the evening.

That's true.

Original poster

Richtea67 · 29/11/2022 09:36

QuiltedHippo · 29/11/2022 07:04

Baby should be in the room with you for all naps and sleep until 6 months (12 months in some countries) to protect against SIDs. Let them sleep on you while you watch TV together then go to bed as a family. No need to make life hard for yourselves. It will pass and get easier I promise

You're right, we've never been in thr situation where we've been able to put her down so hadn't considered this! I think this sounds like a good plan, maybe with some gentle trialling of the cot for the odd nap/nighttime. On the chamce that she did settle in there prior to 6 months one or both of us would stay with her.

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Original poster

Richtea67 · 29/11/2022 09:42

Carbon12 · 29/11/2022 02:47

Same as PP.

My 10 week old falls asleep in either mine or hubby's arms, so she chills with us until I go to bed which is around 10.30pm.

I then lay her next to me (which usually wakes her up) so I latch her and we fall asleep that way.

I want to get her to start sleeping in her crib though for at least the first portion of the night, so I'll start a bedtime routine soon, but I have no idea how it'll go and whether she'll sleep independently.

She sleeps on her tummy for naps - it's the only way she sleeps on her own 😭

It sounds like we have very similar babies! I have tried supervised naps with DD on her side, no success really but she lasts longer than if on her back ( have not tried tummy). We often end up sleeping facing each other (with her on her side), as she will not settle on her back. I'm aware of SIDs risk, but it's that or have her sleeping on my chest all night (which I have done) but I fell asleep with her on me and it terrified me.

Let me know how you get on....if there's something you find helpful I will try it!

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Carbon12 · 29/11/2022 18:50

Update: I tried putting my daughter down today for bedtime and she woke up within 2 minutes 😂

I thought I might get half an hour minimum, but no.

She's a bit sniffly at the moment and she has her 12 week jabs coming up, so I think I'll leave it until the new year.

Original poster

Richtea67 · 29/11/2022 19:57

@Carbon12 bless her, she obviously needs the snuggles right now. We're not even trying it tonight, will hopefully have a chilled one.

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JenniferL27 · 29/11/2022 19:59

QuiltedHippo · 29/11/2022 07:04

Baby should be in the room with you for all naps and sleep until 6 months (12 months in some countries) to protect against SIDs. Let them sleep on you while you watch TV together then go to bed as a family. No need to make life hard for yourselves. It will pass and get easier I promise

This is what we do, and it really has got easier.

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 29/11/2022 20:05

I really don't understand how anyone can sleep properly with a baby in the bed I'd be so scared of hurting them it just seems dangerous to me

Original poster

Richtea67 · 29/11/2022 20:10

@JenniferL27 that's good to hear...can I ask how things got easier, did you keep trying with the crib?

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Original poster

Richtea67 · 29/11/2022 20:15

@tunthebloodyalarmoff I don't sleep that well go be fair, more like dozing waking frequently. For us it's the least worst option as the alternative is sleeping with her on our chests in shifts overnight...and doing that has almost done us in! And believe me we have tried and persisted with everything to get this baby into her crib or moses basket!

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TheJollyPocketPostman · 29/11/2022 21:38

Baby slept on me on the sofa until I went to bed, then she would have a nappy change and feed and go in her next to me crib with me asleep next to her. At about 7 months she started napping on her own upstairs. We stayed in this bedtime routine until about 8 months before she started to go to bed herself in our room, then moved to her own room at 10 months. Advice is they stay with you until 6 months for all sleep.

DisneyPrincesss · 29/11/2022 21:42

I had a moses in the living room.and a next2me. If she's sleeping next to you not on you then a next2me could work while you're in bed. Safer and might let you get a better sleep if you're worrying less.

LynLynette · 29/11/2022 22:19

Just so you know, sometimes babies stop being able to sleep with light and noise going on after a few weeks/ months.
My dd would nurse then fall asleep on my chest after we had dinner in the evening for the first while but pretty soon she wouldn’t settle and I worked out that she needed darkness and quiet to sleep.
We really didn’t know what to do, she wouldn’t settle without me and I ended up going to bed every night at about half seven with her for a while.
Once she stopped needing to nurse so frequently, dp would get her to sleep by walking with her in the sling (only way she’d go) then she’d sleep on his chest for a while, I would get a break and then he’d then give her to me in the bed, she’d dream feed and usually not wake up for a while then I’d keep her beside me all night and feed her back to sleep every time she woke up. The broken sleep had a terrible effect on me.
That crazy routine went on for ages. I was ashamed to tell anyone how we all slept 🙈
In my situation, my dd was in an orthopaedic splint for a long time which was really uncomfortable and made it really difficult (impossible) for her to sleep lying down. It also gave her reflux which made things even worse.
If it hadn’t have been for that, I would’ve kept up trying to get her to go to sleep in her cot.
If cosleeping is working for everyone, everybody is getting enough sleep, it’s making things easier and you’re doing it safely, I’d say go with it but keep in mind, babies are developing all the time, sometimes cosleeping gets more difficult but it can be a really hard habit to break the longer it goes on.
Some people are against cosleeping but they haven’t done it, lots are for it because it worked out so well for them. I did it (still not totally out of the habit and dd is 3.5 btw), but to be completely honest it may have worked for dd (and I can’t even say with certainty she was better off) but it was far from ideal for us and going back with what I now know, I’d try different ways to not go down that road again.