3.5 year old getting out of bed all night

[Teaandbiscuits16]

My DS has been a great sleeper since he was 1, bar bouts of teething, illness, separation anxiety.
About 6 months ago we took the side of his cot and for the first month or so he was fine. However, he now gets out of bed on average 3-4 times a night and comes into our room usually with one or more of the below “issues”:
wants his cover back on (which he can do himself)
his cover is stuck (after I’ve tucked it down the side to stop it falling off)
it’s “scary” in his room
he’s not tired

We try to take him back to bed quietly and calmly but he often starts to throw a tantrum, shouting and screaming and waking his 15 month old sister up. Even if I do get him back into bed he‘ll often be back up again within 30 mins.
He doesn’t nap anymore, usually awake around 6.30am and in bed for 7pm.
We used a Gro clock which worked for a while but no longer does. He also has a red nightlight as he was complaining of it being too dark.
I refuse to let him in our bed as he won’t sleep there, just lies there poking me and whispering to me.
What more can we do? I’m struggling so much with being woken up 4 times a night, parenting 2 young kids and working full time.

Is he in a cot bed ? If he is I’d put him in a single bed. They sleep much better in them. And you can put the cot side up against the bed so he thinks he’s in the cot when he wakes up.

Don’t think there is much to do but consistently put back in bed and follow up with consequences the next day- No pudding/ remove a toy etc. At 3.5 he should know to stay put. Is he not shattered the next day?

we have a stair gate at the door of our DS’s room of the same age to keep him in there. I’m not sure if that would help you? Would he just stand at the gate / stay in bed and shout for you instead? Also not practical if he’s out of nappies at night and needs access to the toilet.

Sorry I would not suggest this, at 3.5 years your child will have no understanding of this consequences, these are illogical consequences and your child will not understand them and it will not help.
op have you tried a night light in the room? Playing more in there during the day to make it less scary?
I feel your pain I’ve had this!

Sorry I see you have a night light, maybe have one that’s not red and just a normal little light?

Try Supernanny’s method. The first time he gets out you put him back & say “ Bedtime darling”. The second time, put him back & just say “ Bedtime”. The third time don’t say anything. This worked on DD when she was little, although we had to take her back over 50 times the first night! Admittedly it’s really hard if he’s waking your other child but it’s a short term problem for a long term solution. You have to be absolutely consistent & don’t give up or it will all go back to the beginning. I disagree with a pp to take something away the next day as your son won’t connect the two things.

This plus a sticker chart with a reward for staying in bed for 3 nights. A red night light might not not be such a great idea,I'd try a normal one.

Lots of praise/sticker/reward for staying in bed. None if he wakes anyone up.

If he comes in "is the sun on your clock? No, then back to bed" etc. "If you wake up your sister there is no tv for you tomorrow morning. Everyone needs sleep"

Try and think of a small consequence you can follow through on without too much disruption as following through is difficult when you are all tired.

My DS came into my room multiple times a night from when he first moved out of a cot until he was 5. I had tried night lights and CDs of relaxing sounds and lavender pillow spray and herbal tea. Nothing worked.

One night I left the landing light on and his bedroom door open; he stayed in his room and never woke me up again. Wish I’d thought of it 2 years earlier. Although it might have been coincidence and he’d just grown out of it.

At that age I would use bribery. Sticker every night he stays in bed all night. 10 stickers and you'll buy him a new toy. Also get him a growclock so he knows when he can come into your room if he hasn't already.

Check out the three day nanny back to bed routine on u tube

Wow, so many speedy responses. Thank you for helping this tired shell of a woman out.

@SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows I get the logic but I’ve tried not talking to him at all and taking him back but he refuses to hold me hand, throws himself on the floor screaming if I pick him up. There’s no other way I have of actually getting him into his room. If I shut his door he just comes straight back out.
@GrumpyOldBastard He has quite a bright nightlight in there. I tried dimming it and he said it was too dark and has his door open all night but doesn’t make a difference.
@Ellie1015 The Gro clock is redundant now. It worked when he was younger and still in a cot but since he’s been able to get out of bed no amount of talking to him about the sun being up and the clock being yellow has helped.
@user2391 This is the only route we haven’t gone down but I’m not against it!
@MikeWozniaksMohawk Exactly that. He’d scream the place down if we put that in place.

I think the gro clock is still useful so he knows if it is morning and time to get up or if he should be going back to sleep. Have you linked it to a reward?

I also told mine if one star on clock they could play quietly in their own room as long as not waking anyone else.