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Sleep training with a floor bed - possible?!

6 replies

Pearson26 · 18/11/2022 15:16

My daughter is almost 18 mo. We cracked sleep training with the Ferber method at about 6 mo when she was in a cot, but then nursery happened 😂 between the frequent night waking, germs and calpol doses it made more sense to have her in bed with me. This lasted 6 months before she was so mobile that I wasn’t getting a good night sleep! So we decided to transition to a floor bed in her own room as I couldn’t imagine her going back into a cot given the freedom she’d had in bed with me.

i love the idea of a floor bed and her room is baby proofed. So IN THEORY (and what was going to happen in my head, magically in a burst of rainbows and butterfly’s) we would say ‘mummy will stay with you if you want to sleep, but if you want to play mummy will go downstairs’. She could then do what she wanted and fall asleep safely when she was ready.

until recently she’s been pretty ok to put down. Bath, bottle, cuddle and then gently put her onto the mattress when she’s asleep.

HOWEVER this week everything has changed. She is NOT TIRED. She is WIDE AWAKE until I end up throwing in the towel and going to bed with her at about 8:30. If we leave the room at any point she is absolutely inconsolable - sobbing and comes to the door and knocks on it from the inside 😩😩😩

my issue is that I’m currently spending my whole evening watching a toddler play because she’s not tired - I don’t mind that she’s not sleeping, but I want to be able to actually have hot food for dinner not cereal, and for her to be comfortable enough in her room without me.

is sleep training at 18 mo even possible?!

do we need to work on separation anxiety as a whole (she’ll cry if we leave her in her room with the baby gate up even if it’s just to go for a wee or run the bath which is within eye sight)?

anyone with a floor bed experienced anything similar?

she’s only on one nap at lunchtime, and has just learned to walk, so I’m wondering if it’s a mental spike in excitement for her.

but I’m stuck and don’t know where to go from here! Halp! X

OP posts:
Harrysmummy246 · 18/11/2022 16:17

Maybe it's time to drop the nap entirely?

FATEdestiny · 19/11/2022 13:00

You are expecting the level of emotional intelligence of a much, much older child. Probably 5yo-7yo kind if age.

Your 18mo is still very much a baby in terms of rational thought and understanding emotions. And will be for a long, long time yet.

Your baby on a floor bed needs you cosleeping with them. Will need that until at least 3yo, could well be up to 5yo. All you're doing at the minute is creating really unhelpful sleep habits.

This isn't just about separation anxiety. You could deal with helping baby though that in a cot, whole different ball game when baby isnt secured by the cot bars. It's to do with baby not having the emotional regulation to understand having choices about when going sleep, where to go to sleep, how to go to sleep, etc. It's developmentally inappropriate to expect this of baby. He needs you to control these kinds if things.

It's tough parenting. It's easier to 'go with the flow' with regards to parenting decisions. But you don't get easy solutions that way.

If it was me, I'd sleep train into a cot.

Harrysmummy246 · 19/11/2022 15:39

Great generalisation there. DS went into a floor bed from 14 mo and into the normal single by 3yo. Has never, ever, got up and wandered about etc. I would lie with him til asleep then go away. He just doesn't. Yes he thrashed about like a loon etc but never wandering about. By just after 2, he could tell DH he wasn't needed and he was ready to sleep.
But he's also never really gone to sleep before 8 pm or woken before 7am. We've never tried to change that either.
We did everything 'wrong' if you listen to the sleep training brigade but I have a delightful, not tired, intelligent 5yo who's circadian rhythm means that we can all eat dinner together, gets himself to sleep when he's ready, stays in bed and doesn't wake us before the arsecrack of dawn.

There is not only one way to do it.

Pearson26 · 19/11/2022 16:42

Thanks @Harrysmummy246 thats really helpful to know. Defo agree that it’s not a ‘one size fits all’ situation and so pleased you’ve got a system that works for you ❤️ that sounds ideal tbh! And we were in the same boat until earlier this week, it’s like someone has flicked a switch in her!

I’ve booked a consultation with a sleep consultant this week to see what she recommends, god forbid we slip into ‘really unhelpful sleep habits’…

OP posts:
Harrysmummy246 · 19/11/2022 16:46

I'd bet that everything we've ever done counts as 'unhelpful sleep habits' but it seems to have worked just fine. I have a happy, intelligent child who is well rested.

There doesn't seem to be an acknowledgement by some people that every family is different, waking between sleep cycles is normal (we all do it, even if we don't remember) and that naps have to be a certain length til a certain age or that wake windows exist. Or that sleeping through is actually the norm

Pearson26 · 19/11/2022 20:06

@Harrysmummy246 tonight she has gone down IMMEDIATELY after her milk, and we even had the telly on before bed! Surely this shouldn’t be possible?! 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ these babes sure do keep us on our toes…

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