Please help me understand newborn sleep - TOTALLY clueless!

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Hi everyone,

I have a 10 week old DS and feel utterly dumbfounded by naps, wake windows, bedtime routines…

I don’t think my baby has a sleep pattern yet, so how do I work out what time a ‘night sleep’ starts and when the naps finish for the day? If he falls asleep at 6.30pm is that the beginning of his night sleep? I’ve read some people on here say their baby ‘goes down’ for the night much later - how do those people know that that’s the start of their baby’s night sleep rather than the middle of the night for their baby? I’m sorry if this is a completely stupid question but it baffles me! My baby doesn’t sleep through in any sense of the word so all sleeps are broken up into little chunks (except for contact naps where he can go 4 or 5 hours sometimes!).

Same question for wake-ups. What time does his day start? If he wakes up at 5.30am like he did this morning, but falls quickly back asleep with a cuddle, then wakes at 6.30am for a feed, but yawning again by 7am and sleeping in a sling before 8am. Is this still part of his night or is this his first nap?

Does it actually matter? I don't mean to be facetious, it's just that you can expend a lot of energy on baby sleep when it's easier to go with the flow. Newborns tend to just have a sleep/wake cycle with very short wake windows. As he gets older he'll probably start stretching that first bit of sleep in the evenings and falling into a pattern that you'll start to recognise. Until then, just keep on keeping on!

Hi! My little one is similar age to yours. I didn't have a clue either and all the other mums seem to have a routine. I just made up my own routine which works well for us right now. I go up to bed with baby at 9pm and spend 30 mins with calming music while feeding. I also use a red lamp as it apparently helps with their sleep. I am to have baby asleep by 9:30 and then spend another 20-30 mins with her in my arms and then in her next to me cot by 10pm and I go to sleep then. She usually wakes around 3am for milk and again at 5am then 6. As for day time I'd say aim to have baby asleep or heading towards sleep around an hour to an hour and a half after their last nap. I haven't bothered sticking to specific nap times just know that she is usually getting grouchy after she's been awake for 60-90 mins.
Every baby is different and it's really up to you what routine you establish. But I know it's helpful to see what other people do.

Don’t worry about it and just go with the flow. As your baby gets older they will likely fall into a bit of a pattern and there will be a more clear ‘night time sleep’, but for now they are still tiny. I found with mine that between 3-4 months it became obvious they were starting their ‘night sleep’ by around 9pm (I think, it’s blurry now and it wasn’t even long ago!) and now they’re 6 months it’s more like 7-7.30pm. I can tell because they sleep more solidly and only wait for a quick feed, don’t really even open their eyes etc, just root for a feed and sort of stay asleep. Up for the day between 6-7am and again I know when they’re ‘starting the day’ because they’ll be wide awake and chatty etc, even though they will want a nap within 2 hours of waking.

It honestly just becomes clearer in time, don’t worry at only 10 weeks.

Regarding daytime sleep, the easiest way to keep track is just to be aware how long they’ve been awake for. So at 0-3 months babies can generally stay awake for 30-90 minutes before needing to sleep again. This wake time increases with age. At 6 months my baby can stay awake about 2 hours, maybe 3 if there’s a lot going on but then they will be shattered. There’s no need for a nap schedule (unless you want to have one), just keep an eye on their awake time so they don’t get over tired.