1 month old and only sleeps on my chest

[MrsC1984]

Sorry, long post…

My gorgeous little boy is now 1 month old. He slept pretty well in his Moses (day naps and night time) for about 3 weeks but in the last week he screams, kicks and cries if you lie him on his back. I’ve tried a tiny bit of letting him “cry it out” but he cries so hard it catches his breath and I think he’ll never breathe again. It breaks my heart to hear and see him so traumatised.

After 5 nights of shushing, patting, blanket, no blanket, sleeping bag, no sleeping bag, extra vest, no vest, slightly tilted crib, flat crib, swaddling, clothing with my smell and everything else in between, I gave in last night and he slept on my chest. It’s the best night sleep we’ve both had.

I know the dangers but I woke every time he moved, I tucked the duvet tightly around me at my waist level and his blanket around both of us tucked under my back.

This post is really to find out if I’m the only one on this earth going against all recommendations or if anyone has also done this?

Also, if you have done this, can you tell me if it gets better? Will he ever move to his crib or back to his Moses basket?

All help much appreciated x

It's a very bad idea. Co sleeping is fine if done safely but him sleeping on your chest while you sleep, no. He can easily shift and end up being trapped in a bad position.

If you hold him and turn, so you are spooning, will he wake? If you can get him used to that wear a tight onesie, hair up, no pillow then that's the best way.

If he won't do that then your best bet is to take turns with your partner or someone to allow you to sleep and then you sit and watch TV or read while baby sleeps on you.

It terrified me to cosleep so I never did it but DS was a bit of a velcro baby during waking hours. He was on me almost constantly for the first 8 weeks or so. I found velcro swaddle blankets worked to get him to sleep in his cot but appreciate different things work for different babies

This sort of thing
amzn.eu/d/0Ll6yQP

Your post took me back to early days with my ds2. He also would only sleep on my chest, so I wore a wrap sling with him in it in the day and coslept at night. I remember gradually introducing distance so he slept in the crook of my arm and eventually would sleep next to me without physical contact. Precious moments!

Yes second getting a swaddle. I had gro snugs for mine.

You'll really benefit from a sling.

Let him lie on you for naps 🙂

Are you breastfeeding? Safe co sleeping and feeding on my side saved my sanity. Didn't last forever but did last longer than I wanted - she was 13 months.

I was very close to some sort of mental breakdown when my midwife very kindly said I shouldn't you show you this, but if you need to do-sleep this is how you do it safely. It wasn't the comfiest, no duvet and pillow, baby in sleep bag or swaddle and I invested in a fleece lined onesie, sleeping on your side with your arm underneath you pointing out totally straight and baby tucked in there, the way your arm is positioned stops you from physically being able to roll over on top of them. It's the only way we got any sleep and gradually introduced distance as above until he slowly but surely made it into his next to me. He's now 3 and we sometimes wake up to find he's snuck in to bed in the night and it makes my heart sing! You miss it eventually.

Anyway, safe co-sleeping I am all for, unfortunately the baby being on your chest isn't that. I do really honestly understand the desperation and the thinking it'll be fine, I'll wake up. But the sleep does come for you sometimes when you're so tired and you just never know. Read up on the technique I'm talking about, and try that. Don't take any unnecessary risks with your precious boy.

I've got my second arriving in a few weeks and will be back here myself, which reminds me to order a new onesie!

I had a baby like this ( luckily July born) . I slept propped up with a v shaped pillow and only a blanket with large holes in over me. I was desperate . It’s exhausting though and by 11 weeks I had to call in a super nanny sleep consultant to help transition him into a cot ( very difficult when they get used to always being held.

Interestingly he is 7 now and still wanted to sleep in bed with me as a treat and hug lots. Very unlike his brother.

ny advice is not to do it - a short term fix but a nightmare to stop.

Please please please do not continue this. Sleeping with such a young baby on your chest is so dangerous.

It's hard, so tough. And you just need sleep. But you know this is dangerous. Please look into safer cosleeping

I had this too with both of mine. I would say as long as your baby isn't premature and you don't do drugs or take alcohol cosleeping done safely is fine. Look up the guidelines on the Lullaby Trust. I also recommend Little Ones for sleep tips for once they are a bit older and transitioning them to sleeping in a cot by themselves.

I was the same, she's 6 months now and currently sleeping on my chest. It's our thing you just have to do it so safety and follow the seven rules etc. turn out my baby had cmpa then out of habit we sleep like this. I'm a very light sleeper so it helps. However it's your call. I will admit I regret not getting her back into her next to me sooner. But alas we learn. As getting her to sleeping in her own room isn't going well. Wish someone would of said things about the future etc it's working for you now, but once this has passed try and break the habit x

Both of mine have been much, much happier co-sleeping than in a Moses basket or cot. First time round I really felt I was failing by having a baby who wouldn't sleep in the Moses basket. This time round I've changed my expectations and focused on safe sleeping.

I will sometimes get her to sleep on my chest before rolling over so she can lie flat on her back next to me, keeping my arm straight out so I can't roll on top of her. Sleep for me has been so much better this time round, I nearly lost my mind last time and vividly remember falling asleep with my baby on my chest in bed just not knowing what else to do but not being able to keep my eyes open.

My DD was the same, we co-slept and it was a god send. I would breastfeed, then gently roll her into the crook of my arm, sleep on the side, no blanket or pillow, my DH slept in a different bed. As she got a bit bigger I was able to feed her on the side and she would fall asleep there. Please don't sleep with them on your chest though that is so dangerous. I also when DD was tiny did a lot of sleeping in shifts, so when she would only settle on my chest I may stay up with her watching telly till 4am and then my DH would get up and I'd go get 3 hours or so sleep. It's soooo hard but you will make it work.

I did with both of my 2 as it was the only way they would sleep. I propped myself up with pillows and woke every time they moved. Did this until they were about 10 weeks and ready to cosleep beside me properly.

I've heard from many women who have done exactly the same thing and say, it was the only way their baby would sleep.

I haven’t done it but have a 10 week old who sleeps like an absolute dream on my chest and so poorly anywhere else. I didn’t know how dangerous it was initially and slept with him on my chest the very first night in hospital! I remember waking up to him nuzzling my neck and it was heavenly. Never done it since and WISH so badly that SIDS wasn’t a thing so we could do it every night. You have my sympathy! I think some parents do do this, but it scares me too much so I suffer instead :(

My DS was exactly the same until 10 weeks. If you’re on Instagram follow Cosleepy … she has excellent practical advice including a post on chest sleeping