Does sleep training require baby to be in their own room?

[TheCaretakerNadine]

Baby boy is almost 8 months. Currently cosleeps with me in the spare room. DH is in our bedroom. Im concerned about DSs quality of sleep in the last month- he wakes every hour, so unsettled. Sometimes he wakes right up, starts babbling and laughing. And then it can take upto 2hrs to get him to sleep. He wants me to hold him on my chest or in my arms- so i feel sometimes its a comfort thing.

He goes down for day naps like a dream. I just pat him lying down and he drifts off. But its the night wakings im struggling with.

He's formula fed, and last feed is at bedtime around 7/8pm. Doesn't have a bottle in the night and is up around 7/8am. Ive been umming and aahing about moving him to his own room but I feel Im not ready ill miss the cuddles. DH thinks hes too young but is coming round to it as i explain the benefits.

Intend to sleep train him (please do not come for me with your studies) with cc, dh is happy to support, and am wondering, for it to work, does a child need to be in their own room?

So basically my concerns about sleep training:

• he will keep waking multiple times and ill give up and bring him into bed. Which will disrupt me more than now.
• that we'll be back to square 1 after nights where he is unwell or teething where i will cosleep

Any thoughts appreciated
Thanks.

You can keep him in your room but while you're doing CC you'll either need to leave the room or be prepared for him to cry longer. He'll cry a lot longer if you're in the room with him but not picking him up. However it's gentler as you can speak to him, stroke him etc. I've sleep trained my baby who I roomshare with, I left the room when she woke after briefly comforting her, then comforted her periodically then went back in in once she was back in a deep sleep.

I tried sleep training in the same room and kept waking up with the baby back in bed with me, I had absolutely no memory of bringing her in but must have done it half asleep!

Depends what you're trying to achieve - better sleep for him, better sleep for you, getting back to sharing a bed with dh? When we did sleep training I left it to DH, I'd have given in. I'd feed the baby, say goodnight then go for a walk, DH would sit by the cot and DC would go off within about ten minutes of verbal soothing.

I tried doing it while in same room but each time she woke I had to leave the room and wait in the living room until she was asleep again and sneak back in and if she woke and saw me she never had a chance to resettle herself
one night I dozed off on the sofa while I was waiting for her to go back to sleep and then she slept for hours 😂 so I moved her to her own room the next night and never look back

Following this to see suggestions.
I’m in a similar position to you. I’ve just moved DD’s (big) cot away from right beside my bed. Tried to let her self soothe last night and 1 hr later she was still awake & very tired.
I can’t imagine her being in her own room but I feel the time is looming!

Could you try him in his own room first? Both of mine slept better when they were in their own rooms.

Ahh so did you leave your own room multiple times in the beginning at night wakings til your bubba had fallen asleep?

This sounds super selfish of me to say, but Im really gonna miss the cuddles and am so torn over this. But then when I have a rough night where he wants cuddles every 30mins I think tomyself thats it, ive had enough, i need to sleep train him and he needs his own room! At the mo, i can make up for the poor night by cosleeping with his 1st morning nap. I go back to work in a few months when he'll be 1, so he defo needs his own room then.

Dh suggested moving him to his own room now for nights and his afternoon nap so he can get really used to it, and to cosleep for his morning nap with him in bed, and the 3 of us together on the weekend when dh is off work, but surely that would confuse him?

I don't have any advice for sleep training, but wanted to reassure that this is really normal and likely to improve on its own soon. Here's a useful article about normal sleep in the first 18 months 😊

sarahockwell-smith.com/2017/07/24/the-rollercoaster-of-real-baby-sleep/

So you’ll “miss the cuddles” but you’ll leave your son to cry it out for his? Barbaric

We sleep trained at 6 months - cc. We did it in our room, it was not as successful as if their in their own room as they know you will be back and you have to leave the room to come back. That's hard going. Give it a go. It may work. But may find its easier in Los own space. Then they may just go to sleep and sleep better anyways 🤷🏼‍♀️ perhaps without the sleep training.

Well I'd rather have a few nights of tears and then him sleeping better than the shoddy sleep hes getting now.

I dont intend to just leave him on his own- why do all those against sleep training assume these babies are left alone? I will go in at regular intervals. Please do not judge.

It's great you can acknowledge the selfish part - I can resonate with that. Have a 7 month old. Have done my own mini version of cc which works for self settling but I haven't succeeded at getting my LO back to sleep in the night. He ends up with me because I can't bear the crying in the middle of the night and of course it's lovely to have him. However, I am really aware I am confusing him and from everything I have read (which is a lot), one of the most important things is consistency. So that's the one thought I will leave you with as you consider what's right for you. The Dr Ferber book is good even if you don't use his approach fully as a lot of what he says makes sense. You don't have to agree with it all. Good luck.

From what I have read (which is a lot, I too have a Bad Sleeper) hourly waking can be a sign of something underlying e.g. gas, reflux. IMO it's worth ruling out any red flags before letting your baby cry themselves to sleep.

Out of interest, have you tried feeding baby overnight? I BF and aware that night weaning usually recommended later for BF babies, but at 8mo is it possible baby is hungry? Thirsty?