28month calling out for us at all hours

[AngelaB83]

i desperately need some advice! My husband and I work full time, both of us are shift workers. We moved our son to a cot bed around 3/4 weeks ago and the transition has been great. Until around 10 days ago. He started calling out for for us in the night. With whimpering cries. The calling gets louder and louder until he’s shouting. We thought initially it was down to illness as he has an ear infection however it’s continuing. So far tonight we have been to him 5 times and it’s currently 3.15am! This current episode has been ongoing for 45mins.
I know not everyone is a fan but we did the whole controlled crying thing and it’s worked well so many times. Until he gets poorly then we’ve nearly always had to restart it.
he doesn’t get out of his bed. He just made shouts mummy or daddy repeatedly until one of us goes in. When we do he points to the side of the bed indicating that he wants one of us to put our heads there and stay with him a while.
any advice on how to get our otherwise perfect little boy back to sleeping through the night?!

For the purposes of getting more sleep, could you put him in with you so that he settles better?

Do you not want to do controlled crying this time? At 2 he’s probably far more aware of being alone but can’t articulate to you what would help him. I would try gradually retreating. So saying you will stay by the door so he can see you for x amount of time then you will stay by the door but he can’t see you etc. it’s painful in the early hours but you just need him to relax enough to get to sleep and get used to self settling again without you there?

I find that having an excuse to leave their room is helpful for extracting yourself in a way they find acceptable - "here's a quick cusdle but then I need to go to the toilet/blow my nose/put some socks on. I'll come and kiss you afterwards". Then take ages to do whatever thing it was and they may have fallen asleep in the meantime!

Also helpful for one of mine who reverts to disastrous sleep after illness is going in before their usual first wake up time and snuggling up to them enough to disturb them. Then resettle them back to a deep sleep with a barely conscious cuddle. It feels counterintuitive but has successfully ended a few runs of terrible sleep as it prevents them from waking themselves right up. I do it just before I go to bed myself.

If nothing works then you could put his cot bed next to your bed for a few nights, loads of praise if he sleeps though, thenput it back again.

We are currently trying the controlled crying thing again, having gone back to the beginning and checked temp / nappy etc…..he’s only calling out every 10mins now. For shorter bursts.
My husband and I both agree that bringing him in to bed with us is not an option. It’s a habit we don’t want to fall in too. I would never criticise anyone who chose that method as I can understand how parents would choose that option to get as much sleep as they can. But for us it’s a no go.
i just don’t know what has brought this on. The mind of children baffles. We are exhausted!