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im at my wits end - its all going pear shaped. PU/PD help? Long

2 replies

acacia · 28/01/2008 12:30

My ds's sleeping patterns are getting worse by the day. I dont know what to do.

I have a 6mo ds and 2 yr old dd.

Ds has always been a poor night sleeper, waking 3-4 times a night. I have weaned him off night feeds except 10pm dream feed. He is big for his age and eats loads.

He used to be okay at settling himself for daytime naps, and at bedtime (we have a routine of bath, bottle, cuddle, bed)and I had a daytime routine -following Baby Whisperer's EASY with bottle feeds 4 hourly and solids 3 times a day. And 2 naps totalling 3-4 hours at 930 and 2pm. As for poor sleep associations I havent ever fed him to sleep but as i do have to run errands, take my dd out etc, he does sometimes have naps in car/buggy. I do try and time these trips with his am nap.

He was very unwell and in hospital over new years and since then things get worse every day. First his daytime naps went up the spout and now for the past fortnight I have had a huge battle with him at bedtime. He goes into his cot sleepy but awake and cheerful. After about 10min he starts to cry and it just ramps up. I tried gradual retreat - didnt work at all so have been doing the pick up/put down method for about a week. It can take anything from 20min to an hour. Ive been doing it for naps/bedtime and night wakings. If he is just moaning/crying 'mildly' (iykwim) i put my hand on him. If hes really crying i pick him up till he stops then put him down. And repeat. He often fights me - arches his back, punches, pulls my hair and i put him down and then pick up again if still crying. He rolls about and thrashes in his bed. Naps are now ridiculous in that i do PU/PD for an hour for a 30 min nap. If I go out in car he will sleep but i dont want to encourage this.

I am shattered and I also have my 2year old to look after. I have to leave her to her own devices downstairs while i try settle ds with obvious concerns for her safety, for ages during the day and at bedtime. (usually in front of tv - which makes me feel guilty). Ds used to nap in travel cot in kitchen so I could be near dd but in past week I have managed to get him to sleep threre - tried for 90 min yesterday!

We also tried the baby whisperers 'wake to sleep' a week ago which worked a charm for two days and he slept through (only time ever). Sods law was that dd had me up from 3-5am. Probably because she had been left in front of telly for an hour at bedtime on her own while ds screamed. (dh was away)

Now ds is back to repeated wakings at night.

I really cant carry on like this and just want to run away. Im so sleep dprived. Ive been reading loads of books but nothing seems to help. I dont have family around except mil who can help out occasionally, not for more than an afternoon or morning a week. Any advice would be appreciated.

Had to put both kids in front of dvd to type this

OP posts:
IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast · 28/01/2008 15:23

Acacia I'm not sure what to suggest but didn't want your post to go unanswered.

If I were you (and I only have a 6mo DS, no toddler to worry about, so not sure if it's doable) I would just do whatever to get him to sleep - feeding/rocking/pushchair/car journey. I know you've worked hard to get a routine but it doesn't sound like there's much of one left to preserve. I do think you're only going to all be upset and tired if you don't get him off to sleep somehow though.

I am speaking from the POV of someone with a baby who has never slept well though, so I've always had to rock/feed him to sleep. I think you sound really tired and stressed though, so maybe it would be an idea to forget about habits and routines at least until you've all caught up with some rest?

Naboo · 28/01/2008 21:02

Acacia - just sending you support. I have a second baby and a toddler and i'm also at my wits end with my baby being so different from my first born - bad feeder and sleeper!

I'm with you on the exhaustion stakes. The only words i can offer - which keep going through my head is - persistence and endurance. It has to get better!

You are not on your own with feeling so jaded by it all. Can't advise anything apart from know you are not on your own! xx

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