Talk to me about self soothing / self settling

[Sprat12]

How do I approach it?

6 month old son, who sleeps well through the night. Generally down by 8:30 at night and can wake anytime from 5:30 - 7:30 but there doesn't seem to be much consistency on his wake up times in the morning. He woke at 5:30 this morning and I have been trying to get him to sleep a little longer but he isn't having any of it.

I do realise that I am very lucky with no night wake ups, but I am also very aware that 5:30 is too early for him to wake as he will be shattered and have his first nap in an hour or so. Can anyone give me an idiots guide on how to introduce self settling so I can gently encourage him back to sleep if he does decide to wake up early?

He is rocked to sleep which I know is a bad habit, I just don't quite have the tools in my box to figure out how to pop him down to sleep alone!

That's pretty standard after such a good chunk of sleep. You could try a warm bottle of milk keeping room dark then straight back down ?

I would try as pp. I would also do the usual keep lo in room nice and dark until 7am. Is lo cold? Maybe needs extra layer? Or heating on for 10mins about 4am?

My friends 2 year old still wakes at 5/5:30 every morning. Some kids just do! Can you try a later bed time?

I would feed then see if he wants to go back to sleep. If he wakes up earlier do you find he has a longer first nap? Is he cranky or does he seem up and ready for the day?

DD is 5.5 months and we have worked on self settling with a sleep consultant, as feeding to sleep was no longer working. We are 3.5 weeks in now and she isn’t fully self settling yet but she is doing so well, she actually self settled this morning for the first time, after I put her down v drowsy.

this is what my sleep consultant told us to do:

Start with putting him down drowsy after rocking or whatever you do to get him to sleep and then put your forearm on his legs quite firmly so he feels contained and safe, then rub his belly clockwise with your other hand, or just settle your hand on his diaphragm area. We found that DD only likes the hand on her legs so that’s all we do now.

Then repeat a saying in a slow, even voice eg. “Sleepy time (name), good boy, sleepy time”, alternate with taking a deep breath then Shhhh’ing on the exhale, or singing, whatever your DS likes and responds well to. When he cries, which he will as he’ll protest against doing something different, make your voice louder so he can still hear, then when he’s quiet you can go quieter. He may cry for 20 minutes (first stage of sleep) but should quieten after then. If you can have your partner in the room with you so they can take notes on how long DS is crying for etc, then you can see an improvement each night.

When he is asleep stay with him for 10 mins so you are there if he startles himself awake, if he does just repeat what you did.

It involves crying but isn’t like CIO or Ferber in that you aren’t leaving the baby alone. It has worked really well for DD and now crying is minimal, I hope this lasts!

Sorry should have said earlier, he was sleeping until around 7:30 - 8 ish (I was soooo smug. How I regret being so bloody smug!!) but over the last week or two he's started these early wake ups. No change to naps or bedtimes, though has just started weaning so not sure if that has had an impact. He's possibly just going through a bit of a developmental leap type thing which is causing the change, but I'm at a loss (FTM in case you hadn't already figured that out).

Thanks for the ideas above, especially the info from the sleep consultant. Typically he fell asleep during his bottle tonight and went straight down so I didn't have any need to try, but I certainly will have a crack tomorrow.

Do you do the same for naps as well?

@TashieWoo he was back asleep by 7am for an hour. Thankfully I just piled myself back in bed and caught up on a bit of kip so today wasn't too horrendous. An early wake up wouldn't even be the worst thing in the world if I wasn't such an insomniac and can never seem to get to sleep until after midnight anyway!

Check out the Instagram pages for infant sleep advice, they really helped me and give lots of tips on naps and wakes etc.

Little nest sleep
Fox and the moon infant sleep
Hey sleepy baby
Second star to the right
Lyndsey Hookway
Lilah by sleep

@Sprat12 at the beginning the consultant told me to keep naps easy and just work on nighttime sleep, so I would feed her to sleep for the morning nap as that is when we are at home usually and she’ll nap in the cot, then later naps are in the pram or car and I’ll time outings around naps as best I can, we are out and about quite a lot. She’ll do the odd afternoon nap in the cot.

I have just started doing it for her morning nap as that is when we tend to be at home, and it is the most straightforward nap for her, plus feeding to sleep is becoming less effective.

if he’s 6 months then I would suggest it’s a developmental leap. Did he experience the 4 month regression? I’m a FTM too, have just been so confused and stressed by baby sleep I’ve got help from a consultant, she has been amazing.

@TashieWoo no we really didn't have any impact with the 4 month regression at all.

Nap wise he is pretty good to nap really, my only complaint is he never naps for longer than an hour. Most of the time he will cat nap a few times a day from between 30-45mins. As he naps so often it doesn't really fuss me, but it does make me wonder if I need to help the daytime sleep in order to improve the nighttime sleep

I think 3/4 naps a day for 30-45 mins is normal at this age, it’s rare that DD will nap longer than 45 mins.

I do think naps affect night time sleep but your nights are good apart from the early wake up so I think your naps are probably fine too.

Maybe a dream feed around midnight could help him sleep a bit longer, and if you’re awake anyway then it wouldn’t affect your night so much, plus it may help your insomnia if you’re staying awake for a reason?