Need help with 2 year old

[windyerneckin13]

At the absolute end of my tether with my 2 year olds sleep. He's always been an absolutely horrible sleeper but the older he's getting the worse it seems to get.

He currently will only lightly sleep if one of us is in bed beside him, But as soon as we move even a bit he's instantly up crying and screaming. I'm at a complete loss as to what to do. We've tried all of the gentle sleep things online, we've tried cry it out as a last resort, we've tried sleeping beside him but even then he's not really deep sleeping and is the most fidgety light sleeper, so then in turn we're barely sleeping, if we leave him he's awake within an hour.

Has anyone got any advise please?

From a very tired mum.

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What time are you putting him to bed and what time is he getting up?
Whats his diet and exercise like in the day?
How much screen time is he getting?

I’d go right back to basics, make sure he’s not eating sugar/processed food in the day, very little screen time (as some kids really struggle with this), lots of fresh air and exercise in the day, not right before bed.

Some kids a bath helps, others it makes them wide awake so think about what works.

Are you putting him to bed just before/as soon as he starts displaying tired queues? One of mine, I only had a certain window when younger, either had to go at 7pm or if missed it, he ‘went passed it’ then it was 9/10pm before could get to sleep.

Then talk to him about why it’s important to go to bed nicely, stay asleep etc, they take in more than you think.

Try not to have a big drawn out routine. Pyjamas, teeth, book and bed. If he wakes up, just keep contact minimal and keep repeating ‘it’s night time you need to go to sleep’.

Have you tried audio books? White noise?

@MilkToastHoney thank you for your reply.

Lots of exercise in the day, he never stops whether out or in the house he doesn't sit still except when eating. He eats mostly fruit, veg, toast, cheese, pasta, eggs & lentils etc. the odd bit of chocolate as a treat but never after lunch time, packet of crisps or similar on a Saturday or Sunday with a movie. TV only on in the mornings or late afternoon but off before dinner.

He goes to bed between 7:30/8 mostly, naps 1-2:30ish though that varies depending what we're doing that day (I'm currently on Mat leave) so sometimes he gets 1hr sometimes 1hr30, other times 30 minutes or no nap at all none of it seems to make any difference. He goes to sleep absolutely fine, no fights, it's keeping him asleep that's the problem, it's hourly to 2 hourly at the minute unless we stay beside him all night and even then he's so restless if I move at all he wakes up and we've to start again because he cries hysterically. Honestly at a complete loss. Won't sleep in our bed at all either so can't even have him in there so its we're stuck sharing a kids single.

He wakes from the day any time from 5:50-7 mostly about 6/6:30. People keep saying maybe he's just one of those kids that doesn't need much sleep but he definitely does because he's absolutely knackered after and half asleep or super whingey by 11am.

Doesn’t sound like you could improve diet/exercise then - sorry for unhelpful suggestions!!

Have you tried white noise on throughout the night to see if that helps to keep him asleep?

I’d try putting a mattress down in his room so you’re not in his single bed then move it gradually further away/out the door.

No helpful advice as I'm currently laid here in the dark with my very similar 2yo. My eldest was also the same but suddenly changed and began sleeping independently about a week before she turned 3, I'm holding out hope that this one is similar. I did notice an improvement with both when they dropped their nap, didn't help the whole night but bedtime was quicker and we now normally get a 3-4+hour stretch at the start of the night with this one where he'll sleep fine on his own.

Hope it improves soon.

@MilkToastHoney we introduced white noise about 2 maybe 3 weeks ago but I don't think it helps.

Have also tried sitting at the end of his bed, on the floor, even kneeling on the floor holding his hand/touching his back but he just sits up & squeals and cries until I get in bed it's actual just madness. Tempted to put him back in his cot but then think that'll just be worse cause I'll have to go back to sitting holding him till he's asleep and transferring.

Ah @Cakeandslippers I'm sorry you're in a similar situation. It's hard work. The new baby has slept through without a problem since about 6 weeks old and I've done absolutely nothing differently. Roll on 3 😂

Going through this exact thing with my daughter! I spoke to a sleep consultant today and she's said you need to find some way to make sure your DC is using an OBJECT as a comfort rather than YOU.
She says:
tell her there are special teddies (or soft toy) that are made just for little girls who get lonely at night/have bad dreams/ can’t get back to sleep etc, then take her on a special shopping trip so she can choose her own special night time teddy, make a big thing of it, and when she wakes at night give her the teddy and encourage her to tell teddy what is wrong and teddy will help her get back to sleep.
The aim is to try and encourage her to transfer her need for night support/reassurance to an object rather than you.

We are trying the teddy method tonight and I won't be getting in the bed with her if she still shouts for me - just holding her hand at the side of the bed. Also making sure she goes to sleep on her own without me there (using the "need to get a drink - I'll be back in a minute") and then leaving her

No help but following as our just turned 3 yo
is similar. Always has been. Exact same routines, diet, etc to our others but so different.

we’re currently on a very active holiday and even though she’s exhausted, she’ll be in our bed in the next coupes of hours!!

@bigfamilygrowingupfast ooh this sounds like a good idea. I'll get on that and give it a go. Let me know how it goes with your daughter.

@BusyBeaMe sorry you're going through similar. It's so so hard. Hopefully gets better for you soon