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Sleep

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Original poster

Sleep training at 4.5 months

18 replies

Chumbibi · 19/10/2022 05:56

Now I know that sleep training shouldn’t happen until 6 months but I am broken. We are 4/5 weeks into the four month sleep regression and I’m just broken from the hourly wakes. Physically I cant carry on I keep waking up in tears and it’s really affecting my mental health. DS is my second and I do know it gets better but is there anything I can try and do now just to get more sleep?

DS is EBF and won’t take dummies or bottles. DH supposed to be away for the night on a work do tomorrow but I don’t think I can cope. He sleeps in the spare room to take over early in the morning.

I just can’t parent toddler DD patiently or well at all on this little sleep. Is there anything I can do?

OP posts:

buckingmad · 19/10/2022 06:01

Do you have family nearby that can help? Does your other child go to nursery during the day and you can nap with baby? Ignore any unnecessary house work and stock up on ready meals for you and toddler just whilst DH is away. my DH is army so I can sympathise with being alone with little ones.

Sorry I can’t help at all with the sleep training, i didn’t do it, just went with the wakings until they sorted themselves out!

Kam610 · 19/10/2022 06:03

Could you co-sleep? I ended up doing this when my daughter was unwell as she just wanted fed for comfort all night. She basically stayed latched on all night and it let me get some sleep.

Skala123 · 19/10/2022 06:04

I would focus on trying to get them to take a bottle (with expressed milk if you'd prefer not to give formula) My son was a bottle refuser but I made it by mission and bought a variety of different types and teats and one morning (he was 5 months) refused him his 6am feed. By 8am he drank an entire bottle and we never looked back

vegang · 19/10/2022 06:10

I understand how you're feeling as DD has woken hourly for 17 months now.

I'm really against sleep training and recommend the Beyond Sleep Training Facebook group for lots of advice on sleep.

As a PP said, have you tried Co sleeping? Makes the wake ups so much easier for me

templesit · 19/10/2022 06:16

Really feel for you but you cannot sleep train at that age. Imo 6 months is too early.

RebeccaNoodles · 19/10/2022 06:17

OP, we did gentle sleep training at 5 months and it was brilliant. We patted and shushed in cot instead of picking up/feeding. Baby was never alone she stayed in our room throughout. It worked in 3 nights and she started sleeping though. It's not for everyone but it was right for us. Try Millpond Sleep Clinic, they are the best. And get some sleep in the day if you can by any means necessary - earplugs, partner taking day off, anything. Good luck!

Original poster

Chumbibi · 19/10/2022 06:18

Co-sleeping is 50/50, I have a fast let down and so often he will pull off and get upset. Also I elbowed him in the head last night so it isn’t really working for us.

I’ve let all cooking go but I still need to do washing as the kids need clothes and it’s so hard to keep on top of. He only naps for 40 mins a day and that’s usually on me so I can’t ever get sleep in the day. DD is in childcare so I should be coping much better but I’m not.

family isn’t much help, in that they don’t want to help/think I should be coping better than I am

OP posts:

Original poster

Chumbibi · 19/10/2022 06:20

Thanks @RebeccaNoodles will look this up - is it shush/pat?

OP posts:

RebeccaNoodles · 19/10/2022 06:23

Yes, basically it was about removing the crutches she was using which was feeding/contact to sleep. But always close by so she didn't feel alone. Sleep deprivation is literal hell - you need rest to function and care for your children so don't feel bad.

FlounderingFruitcake · 19/10/2022 06:39

Is there any actual evidence you shouldn’t do it before 6 months? I hear it quoted all the time on here but in the US, where I lived when DD was a baby, it’s said by paediatricians etc that you can do it from 4 months, should you want to. I know short mat leave is a motivation for a lot of people to do it earlier of course, but I don’t know where the not before 6 months thing comes from. And it’s also worth mentioning that sleep training doesn’t have to be cry based, there are different methods. If you’re on your knees then I’d look into it.

Original poster

Chumbibi · 19/10/2022 06:47

@FlounderingFruitcake I am not sure but perhaps because that’s when you can get them more into a routine with food etc?

just watching him now and he’s so close to rolling over which I suspect is also at play

OP posts:

Tadpoll · 19/10/2022 06:48

Gina Ford.

Elderflower2016 · 19/10/2022 07:20

We did Gina Ford routine roughly but in terms of helping babies learn to fall asleep without being fed yes the shush Pat method is fab as you stay with them. This then applies to naps too in the daytime. If you are completely exhausted you could consider changing to bottle as previous poster said by simply not feeding at 6 am and offering bottle. I did this but I went out of the house and got family member to do it. I then never bf again so as not to confuse him. My hv said that because I was so knackered and run down my breast milk was likely tasting like water so baby cried more as hungry and viscous cycle continued… good luck you can do it x

naomisuissa · 19/10/2022 14:47

We also did gentle sleep training at 4 months and it worked amazingly. We roughly followed the sleep sense programme, which gave me a structure to follow, but it's essentially shush pat/PUPD and giving a little time to self settle (not rushing over at first moan)

Calphurnia88 · 24/10/2022 08:47

I noticed you mentioned LO was waking hourly. From what I have read , anything under two hours can be a sign of something underlying that is keeping them up/preventing them falling asleep e.g. reflux, gas, etc. Could be too much or too little daytime sleep.

I'm not personally into sleep training however wouldn't judge others for doing it, but I would recommend ruling out any of red flags first. Try the Instagram page 'heysleepybaby' - she has a saved reel on red flags.

For background I have a reflux baby who wakes up every 1-2 hours. We're getting him checked for tongue tie as believe this could be the cause.

poppet131 · 19/04/2023 13:29

@Chumbibi Did you end up sleep training at 6 months? And if so, how did it go? Still very much in sleep deprivation hell…

Original poster

Chumbibi · 19/04/2023 13:44

Hello @poppet131 ! DS is 10 months now and my god things are so so much better.

it didn’t get better until about 7 months though, and one of the main things was getting him into a routine, but the biggest thing was stopping breast feeding. For about a week DH got up and gave him a bottle, the first few nights, he stopped crying before we even had chance to make up the bottle and go in there! Then he would have it sometimes and after a week he started sleeping through.

not popular opinion and of course not the same for ever baby (my DD slept through when EBF) but it was stopping the BF which sorted it. It also meant I got a break and some sleep!

OP posts:

poppet131 · 19/04/2023 13:55

@Chumbibi My DS is a bit of a bottle refuser but will drink 4oz of a bedtime bottle (won’t have it during the day though) so I’m not sure how realistic it would be for him to move onto bottles (as much as I’d love to formula feed!). How long did it take before your little one took reasonable quantities of milk? X

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