Why sleep when I can stand!

[Issybot]

So I'm mummy to a gorgeous 10 month old baby. He is pretty chill and naps well during the day. Usually about 1.5 hour nap in the morning and same in the afternoon. But come the nighttime, he struggles, usually wakes every 1.5-2 hrs. Everything we have read says put baby down in cot drowsy but not asleep as this will enable them to self sooth and get themselves back to sleep. So the trouble we are having is that when we try to do this, he just totally wakes up and stands up in his cot and cries and won't stay lying down. So me or my husband end up holding him until he goes to sleep then put him down asleep. I know this isnt ideal but he wont go down any other way, we have tried, and we would otherwise be there for hours lying him down drowsy then him standing up in cot and getting more upset, then repeating this cycle continuously. It just isn't working for him but EVERYTHING I read says to do this. I'm just wondering if anybody else has encountered this? And, if so, found something else that works or any hints to stop him standing up in the cot? I wondered about a different bedtime but not sure. He currently goes down about 7. Would be very grateful for any thoughts or insights.
From another knackered mum!

Yeah, drowsy but awake is utter bollocks in my experience, and for pretty much every other parent I've spoken to. It works for 0.00001% of babies.

Mine would only contact nap in the day til about 9 months, and then he's fall asleep on me and I could transfer to cot / floor bed. Nighttime was better, but still would only fall asleep on me.

Parenting books / websites that peddle that advice have an awful lot of parental anxiety to answer for. You're not doing anything wrong - if it's working, it's working. The most important thing is that everyone's getting sleep. When it stops working (for you or your baby) that's when you can change something.

Firstly I'd cut the morning nap to 30 or 45 minutes to increase sleep pressure. If it were me in your position id do controlled crying, going in and lying them back down down.

Drowsy but awake is nonsense to most babies. It’s not biologically normal for them to be able to fall asleep without help until they’re much older. It’s absolutely fine to hold him until he’s asleep!

Currently sitting in a rocking chair with my 13 month old on me while he falls asleep. When he's deep asleep I'll transfer him to his cot.

He sleeps through. Sometimes wakes once in the night.

Do what works for you.

I'm another parent that drowsy never worked and its utter rubbish.

Your lo sounds like they can't link sleep cycles, if waking 1.5 to 2 hours. There are many sleep training you can do at this age to help teach. For quick results you can do CC. But there are gentler techniques if that is not for you.

This is so reassuring and thank you so much for the helpful tips. He slept a wee bit better last night which has lead me to acting like a crazy person today analysing every nanosecond of what we did yesterday to result in this improved night. Obviously it was the tuna he had at dinner. He's never had tuna before and this is obviously what he's been missing 😂I am, of course, joking. A bit. X

I spent a couple of months lying on my bed with my eldest till he fell asleep at around that age. It does pass!

My little one has just turned 11 months. She has been a good sleeper since about 10 weeks...but, some of this may help, some might not;
She dropped to one daytime nap about 3 weeks ago now because her night time sleep had started going downhill, so now she wakes at 8am - naps 1230-1500/1530 and in bed for 1945. She was having 2 naps totalling about 4 hours before but she wouldn't settle at night and would wake numerous times in the night so we cut it to one.

Regards the standing up in the night, is he in a sleeping bag?
When we moved her into her own room at 8 months she was a nightmare to settle, she just wouldn't go down without screaming and we would end up rocking her but it was so draining that we did CC but I only left her 1 minute, then 2 and then 3 as a maximum, it took 4 days but she will settle herself every nap/night time now. Sometimes she will fall asleep when I feed her before bed and I'll transfer her but 90% of the time she goes in her cot awake, she will play around with her dummies for a bit and eventually fall asleep.

Wishing you all the best...try anything!! Tuna every night perhaps?!

Just do whatever your wee baby needs because your baby hasn’t read the books. They need warmth and being able to hear a heartbeat. Do you have a sling or baby wrap?

also,

A hot supper right before bed can help. Porridge or weetabix with a banana mashed through

Have you considered not using a cot? They are very inviting for new standers to showcase their skills. Consider what you could use for sleep that wouldn’t lead to standing up all the time, I feel your pain with that, the answer for my dc was a normal bed but they went back in a cot later