8 month old never slept through the night

[newmum189]

FTM exhausted with DS frequent night wakings. He’s never been a good sleeper. Around 8th week he started sleeping for 4-6 hrs stretch with 2/3 night wakings up until 14th week. Then I caught a cold and so he did. Since then he started waking every 3hrs which I was fine with. But from the end of 4th month he’s waking multiple times and his naps aren’t good. Everyday is a different timing for his nap although I consistently maintained his bedtime routine. He wakes up every 2hrs after bedtime and only cat naps during the day. I follow his wake windows and try to put him to sleep every time but sometimes he simply resists them. I’m ok in the day but the night wakings are worst that I want to run away from him. I’m EBF and DS doesn’t take bottles/dummies. I don’t mind feeding him every 2 hrs but then the rocking/bouncing that comes after that makes me so desperate that I want to end our BF journey. Deep down inside I knew I’d like to continue this journey but somehow I’m so exhausted with his 2hrs wake times with a fuss followed by cry. I’m on maternity leave that’s going to end soon and my husband works full time. I’m very disappointed with his night sleep and don’t know what would happen if I start work again. I’m into research fields which involves lot of readings and write ups. If I start my work again I’d need to work some extra hours to make up my maternity leave. In that case I’m very much worried that I’d be so exhausted to do my job and wouldn’t be able to rest during the day also. I’ve started solids and he eats 3 meals a day although not more than a 3 spoon full of food go inside his mouth. I do BF him between and before his nap time. I knew I’m making good amount of milk as he’s gaining weight and following the milestones perfectly. The only problem I’ve with him is his night sleep which is an on going issue for the last 4 months. Is there a way that I can make him to sleep longer hours at least 4-5 hrs stretch without any fuss? Please help me

Sending hugs and also your not alone mine does the same.
We work on him self settling and I don't feed him every wake up. My husband settles him with pats etc up til 11pm (goes to bed at 7) unless he's really really bad.
Then through the night it's again at least 3 hours before I will give him a feed as I know he doesn't actually need it and it's a comfort thing.

A comforter has helped which I wore down my top and mostly we worked on naps and bedtime. But crucially my DH had to start the process for 2-3 days until the association was less. So start over a weekend etc.

Giving up bf won't make him sleep more though ff babies can also be crap sleepers but it's about them learning to self settle.
We have good nights and bad nights at the moment he's unwell so it's been crap but he was getting to 4 hours before this.

Can you cosleep?

That’s what my DH did a month ago but then he started to unsettle after 30 mins of patting and bouncing. So we ended up feeding him every time he woke up. Now he’s used to BF he’s expecting that only and i knew I’ve made him to have lots of night feeds. Is it possible to change this behaviour?

we did Co sleep some days that helped but in this winter I’m not really comfortable to have him in our bed as it makes me anxious all the time about his safety.

My eldest DS didn't sleep through the night until he was nearly 3. He turned 4 last week. At 11 months old he was waking us 10+ times a night. I was 8 months pregnant at the time. I ended up putting a single bed in the nursery and I slept in the nursery with him often in with me, while my DP did all the night feeds and stayed in the main bedroom with the new baby. It was very hard work and we were both exhausted but they're 4 and nearly 3, and they both now sleep through (mostly).

I suppose what I'm saying is not to set your bar too high, and just know that you'll be shattered, and it's bloody hard work, but you'll get there in the end. Solidarity for you OP.

Safe bed sharing is a great option, all our babies have slept in with us on my way side including current 12 month old. It’s totally biologically normal for them to look to bf at each nighttime wake up, you’re not doing anything wrong by responding to his needs.

Same... I just got used to waking up so much. When he got to 3 it stopped! I'll never take a full nights sleep for granted again.

We found Ferber method literally life changing. Really recommend reading the book.

The basic theory is that you need to go to sleep in the environment that you are going to stay asleep in (I.e. alone and in the dark). Otherwise between the sleep cycles when the brain wakes a bit, it thinks something is “wrong” because the conditions have changed (patting and shushing has stopped and parents have vanished) - so the brain wakes you up to check for danger.

We didn’t follow Ferber rigidly - we did pick up, comfort etc, and you can do that as often as you like, the key is that when the baby actually falls asleep, they are alone. So when they stir, they expect to be alone, all is well and they carry on sleeping.

My DS went from waking every 30 mins all night to waking twice for feeds (he was 6 months) and then by 8 months we’d gone down to 1 feed. By 9 months, 12 hours solid sleep.

That would be my recommendation - and soon, sleep training gets harder as they get older.

Sorry, it's normal. My son didn't sleep through until 2.5 and that was for a short stint and now he wakes in the night again. I take him into my bed and he goes straight back to sleep. I took the easy option rather than a battle to get him back to sleep on his own bed.

I now have DS2 who I co sleep with, he is EBF and Wales 3-4 times a night. It's just what they do.

You can try sleep training. There are a number of different methods. Studies show that it is very effective and none demonstrate any harm to the child.

We tried several methods, but in the end the only one that worked was cry it out. We did it with the help of a sleep consultant. It took 5 days, and DC went from waking 5 times a night to sleeping 12 hours straight.

Good luck. It's such a difficult time as a parent!

Exactly this

My daughter finally got there at 2 years old. In the end I put an air bed next to her cot to get her used to staying in it all night. Then slowly starting sneaking out earlier and ealrier into the night.

Yes it's possible it takes a few days which can be tough.
If he's still in the same room as you guys then see if you can sleep elsewhere it will help and have a set time of number of hours (we started with 3 and then stretched to 4).
It's not easy first few days and definitely needs your DH to be onboard. We also found doing story after bathtime feed before sleep helped break the association. Ideally last feed before bath but my DS found this too tough so now we have story instead.

Thanks a lot. I do the story before bath because once he’s dressed from bath he’s ready to feed straightaway. But I’ll try your method to see if that helps me in any way