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Sleep

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Original poster

Co sleeping

18 replies

kbaby · 29/11/2004 21:06

DD is 6 months old and since about 3 months when she wakes in the morning I bring her into bed. At the moment she wakes between 4-5 and I find it easier to bring her into bed feed her and then she also goes straight to sleep. If I put her back in the cot she wakes up. I enjoy cuddling her and she obv likes it too. The problem is DP, he's got lots of people in work telling him not to have dd in bed as she will get too used to it. This means that he now wants to just leave her in the cot awake until she goes to sleep. The problem I have is that I cant go to sleep if I know shes awake, which can take 2 hrs before she goes back off.
Do I continue to bring her into bed or is he right about it creating problems later on.
Whats everyones experiences

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lonelymum · 29/11/2004 21:12

No I don't think it necessarily causes a problem later on. I did what you describe a lot with my third and fourth child because I was just too tired to stay awake long enough to put them back after they had finished breast-feeding. Neither of them became a porblem later on. At some point they start going right through the night without a feed and at that point you no longer have them in bed with you. The only problem would come if she starts waking up just to be with you. You would have to guard against that. Also, your dp might get fed up with her presence - mine sometimes did when he wanted something else from me! If that is the case, why can't he get up after you have gone back to sleep and move dd himself?

Clayhead · 29/11/2004 21:17

Not got much time now but...

dd co-slept for 18 months, went in a bed then and slept with us from when we went to bed. Nearly 3 now, goes to bed on her own no problem (since she was just turned 2). ds 15 months, just started putting him in a 'bed' (matress on the floor, lots of reasons) in the evening and he's doing fine. He still comes in with us for the rest of the night though and that's fine with me.

Ignore other people, do what you think is best and enjoy those snuggly times!!

Dannie · 29/11/2004 21:51

At that time of the morning, at this time of year, i'd say it's by far the best option. If your 6 month old is sleeping in a cot up to 4-5 am, you're doing really well compared to me & my 3. Why not suggest to your DP that if he's worried, he should get up, give the baby a bottle (of ebm if you're still bf-ing) and settle her back in her cot. Then make you a cup of tea, since he's up

aloha · 29/11/2004 22:25

Stay with what works!! Otherwise do what Dannie suggests and see how long his new regime lasts. My god, you enjoy it, your baby girl enjoys it and you all get a great night's sleep and a morning cuddle....where is the downside? People should just butt out with their stupid unasked for advice. Babies change all the time and she will start to sleep longer as she gets older, I'm sure. At the moment this is undoubtedly the best solution for you all. I also think your dd is doing really well. I only hope my daugher will be so kind to me! They are babies for such a short time. Don't miss out on the cuddles now!

Twiglett · 29/11/2004 22:43

You enjoy it, she enjoys it .. keep doing it

agree with Dannie

You cannot spoil a baby by loving it .. and co-sleeping is a wonderful lovely feeling you'll never get back .. in a few short months they'll be all pointy elbows and spread-eagled legs making you sleep right on the edge of a king-size bed to give them enough room

spod · 29/11/2004 22:46

love co-sleeping... we do what you do .. our dd is 14 months... its great!

TracyK · 30/11/2004 12:30

kbaby - exactly the same here - ds almost 9mo and wakes between 4 and 6am - it's much easier to bring him into bed with us and feed him. most times he goes back to sleep for another couple of hours.
I love it but my dh is the same. a little bit jealous I think - plus mil in the background.
The fact that they last this long in their own cot means they can do it on their own - so I'm not worried. Just have to put up with dh huffs!

sweetkitty · 30/11/2004 22:29

I'm the same Dd hated her moses basket and crib from day one she would bag her arms off it and wake up and wail. I started bringing her into bed with us after her first feed and now she's sleeps with us all night and she sleeps from 11-9am. Eventually I will want to put her in her own bed but we're all happy as it is. Dp and I go into the other room if we want to have erm relations.

The problem is other people, they think we are crazy, you'll spoil her, you'll never get her into the own bed, I know so and so and they rolled over and smothered their baby. It's so bad I don't tell people we co-sleep as if it's something to be ashamed of.

I've kind of got friendly with this elderly Indian lady and she says in their culture all babies sleep next to their mummies and they have no history of cot deaths. She also says that there culture believes babies are very special and have spirits to guard them until they are older and you should never be bad to a baby as the spirit will be bad back to you. OFf the subject but lovely I thought.

pokerface · 30/11/2004 22:34

I co-sleep with my ds. I love cuddling him. I was talking about this with friends the other day and we all agreed that as long as we were happy it didn't matter what anyone else thought. Isn't it funny how everyone has an opinion on how we should raise our children. But I bet if we were to tell them how to raise theirs it would cause a stink.

spod · 30/11/2004 22:35

sweetkitty.... that sounds interesting, the spirit stuff... spirits of relatives?

cardigan · 30/11/2004 22:49

Co-slept everynight with dds until 10 months-12 months - never any probs with them sleeping in their own beds. In fact they sleep better in their beds than other friends children who didn't co-sleep. Plus when they were babies I at least got some sleep where as other friends were sitting by cots all night or pacing the floors with baby in arms. Much better to be tucked up cosy with baby. In the daytime they slept in my arms or in a babysling -meant that I was more mobile & not tied to a nap schedule. My dh used earplugs so he did wake up with dds little sounds. Also used different covers so he wouldn't pull them over dds. He put a rolled blanket between him & baby so he wouldn't roll onto her. Sometimes he slept in a diff bed. He understood that if our baby was in her cot he would have to look after her at night whereas with co-sleeping & bf I was incharge of babys waking in the night - he got a full nights sleep! Goodluck kbaby - go with how you feel

Widdy · 30/11/2004 22:51

We co-slept with our dd exclusively until 7 months and by 10 months going to sleep in won bed, in own room no probs, slept through. She is now 30 months and coming into our bed at 5.30am - should proabaly take back to bed but too tired.

kinderbob · 01/12/2004 00:30

Tell your dp that the people at his work are more than welcome to come around at 4am every morning and resettle your dd. Carry on as you are - what is it to these people anyway?

We always did this with ds and he is now a fantastic sleeper - it really is a question of maturity and your dd just isn't able to do anything else yet. When she is capable of sleeping longer and she is all cosy in her cot, she won't dream of waking you both up for no reason.

sweetkitty · 01/12/2004 17:10

you are right spod they believe that the babies spirit relatives look after the baby and calm him or her until they can talk it's quite sweet really

I'm so glad to hear stories of co-sleeping babies who now sleep by themselves no problem. DD slept from 11 to 7 this morning without stirring so we all get a good nights rest I love wakening up and hearing her breathing quietly beside me

hercyulelog · 01/12/2004 17:11

Love cosleeping. Fell into it with ds and chose it with dd.

SamN · 01/12/2004 17:28

Was really obsessive with ds1 to get him sleeping on his own although he hated his moses basket. Then one day I was just too tired to get him settled after a night feed and the co sleeping started. Now he's 2 1/2 and he just pops into our bed in the mornings if he's up early enough. I like it and I wish I hadn't missed out on the cuddles when he was really tiny.

With ds2 I didn't make such a fuss. If he wakes in the night he comes in with us and I'm sure he sleeps a lot better (he's only 5 months now). But dp is making noises about getting him into his own room soon. We'll just see about that. I think as long as he still needs feeding in the night it will be up to me in any case. Dp often doesn't even wake up when ds2 is feeding and so I can't see him actually getting up to take ds2 into a different room.

MarsselectionboxLady · 01/12/2004 17:38

currently co-sleeping with twins. Far too tired to attempt putting them back into their cot. Loving it! Will have to move them out soon though as they are getting too big and dh and I would love to be able to stretch.

mikeyjon · 01/12/2004 17:48

hi, i started having my 2 year old in the bed when he was a baby as i was breast feeding and it was easier but now he's in his own room he wakes up several times in the night and pats the bed until my dh gets in with him. we now get less erm 'time' together as he falls asleep in there! my 8 month old sleeps happily in his cot and won't settle if i try to cuddle him to sleep, am mostly glad of his independance but would sometimes love to rock him off to sleep.

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