We've taken the dummy away

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Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 11/10/2022 22:18

Mm give your baby his comforter back.... Shove half a dozen in his bed.

You are his most trusted person and you have taken his dummy away..
Sorry op. Awful.

TheBirdintheCave · 11/10/2022 22:26

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 11/10/2022 22:18

Mm give your baby his comforter back.... Shove half a dozen in his bed.

You are his most trusted person and you have taken his dummy away..
Sorry op. Awful.

@Pumpkinpatchlookinggood That is not helpful at all. Toddlers shouldn't keep their dummies forever.

...

OP I have nothing helpful to suggest unfortunately. We'll be weaning our son off his dummy next month so might be going through the same thing then.

Good luck!

RandomMess · 11/10/2022 22:36

Honestly I don't think he's ready yet. He won't need it forever and so long as he only has it on bed it shouldn't cause him any major issues.

exhaustedandoverthis · 11/10/2022 22:37

I would leave it for a bit. We took DDs away at 3 and it was easier than expected as she understood a bit more.
Your DS is maybe a bit young yet?

exhaustedandoverthis · 11/10/2022 22:44

If it helps we explained that there was a dummy fairy and she would bring a gift in exchange and would give the dummies to new babies that needed them. Big sis was having visits from the tooth fairy so she was very excited about the dummy fairy. We could explain and more importantly she understood. On the night she woke up, called and said she couldn't find dummies, we said but oh look the dummy fairy has been and she rolled over and went to sleep. I was shocked but it was a total non-event. A bit like potty training, wait until they're ready. The dentist said no problem with her teeth waiting until then either.
Honestly, don't make problems for yourself and wait a bit longer.

Original poster

Blues1 · 12/10/2022 06:39

Pumpkinpatchlookinggood · 11/10/2022 22:18

Mm give your baby his comforter back.... Shove half a dozen in his bed.

You are his most trusted person and you have taken his dummy away..
Sorry op. Awful.

Awful!!!???

Listen people come on here for some friendly help and advice, not to jabs their parenting ridiculed. I'd appreciate it if you don't reply in future.

OP posts:

KangarooKenny · 12/10/2022 06:41

If he only has it at bed time I’d give it back for now.

Original poster

Blues1 · 12/10/2022 06:44

exhaustedandoverthis · 11/10/2022 22:37

I would leave it for a bit. We took DDs away at 3 and it was easier than expected as she understood a bit more.
Your DS is maybe a bit young yet?

We're a bit worried about his teeth you see, there's a gap at the front forming and he's already saying some words with a slight lisp.

I should have mentioned in the original post the dentist has recommended we take his dummy away.

OP posts:

Original poster

Blues1 · 12/10/2022 06:46

Blues1 · 11/10/2022 22:05

Hi,

We've decided it's time to take away my DS dummy which in the main has been ok but night times the past week have been a nightmare!! He's almost 22 months old now. He'll go to sleep no problem but he wakes up after an hour or two crying for his dummy, when he has his dummy he would either find it himself or we'd find it for him and he'd fall straight back to sleep (he would cry to get in our bed still around 1am-4am)

But now there's no dummy he's literally inconsolable, nothing will calm him down he tries to bang his own head against his cot, he's crying so hard he's almost making himself sick the only thing that calms him is to get in our bed. This could be 8pm, neither of us want to go to bed at that time and we obviously want him to stay in his own room as long as possible.

Letting him cry out isn't really an option as I'm scared he'll hurt himself banging his head and he can climb out now too 😩 he gets so so upset I just don't know what to do.

Any help??

Thanks in advance

@TheBirdintheCave
thank you and good luck to you too when the time comes. ☺️

OP posts:

Original poster

Blues1 · 12/10/2022 06:49

exhaustedandoverthis · 11/10/2022 22:44

If it helps we explained that there was a dummy fairy and she would bring a gift in exchange and would give the dummies to new babies that needed them. Big sis was having visits from the tooth fairy so she was very excited about the dummy fairy. We could explain and more importantly she understood. On the night she woke up, called and said she couldn't find dummies, we said but oh look the dummy fairy has been and she rolled over and went to sleep. I was shocked but it was a total non-event. A bit like potty training, wait until they're ready. The dentist said no problem with her teeth waiting until then either.
Honestly, don't make problems for yourself and wait a bit longer.

That's a really good idea, thank you.

OP posts:

upsiedaisy49593 · 12/10/2022 06:53

Here to hand hold as we have just weaned our 21MO from hers for day times. It was a very tricky few days, but definitely worth it.

We give her it at night times still but for us that is still progress because she was way too attached to it during the day and had it all the time.

It might be that your little one still isn't ready to give it up at night time yet. We are planning to do the 'dummy fairy' thing for night time when she is old enough to understand xx

Floydthebarber · 12/10/2022 07:03

I would be tempted to give it back. Our dd1 had one until after she turned three. We bought a box of those little collectible hatchimals from amo

Floydthebarber · 12/10/2022 07:04

Sorry, wrong button! From amazon for about £10 and she got one every morning.

I was very surprised when I raised it with the dentist

Floydthebarber · 12/10/2022 07:07

The keyboard keeps disappearing from my phone and I'm pressing post when it does! I am determined to finish this!

The dentist said she spoke fine and as she only had it at nap times and sleeping her teeth would be fine. Now I think back she might have been 4, not 3! If your ds is getting that upset, I'd try again in a few months.

bingbummy · 12/10/2022 07:25

At 22 months he still has an innate need to suckle, as an infant mammal. He is trying to build milk supply, he can't help it and needs something to suck on, it's a natural behaviour that he is biological disposed to carry out. Please, let him have something to suckle on. We don't naturally wean off lactation until 5-7 years, hence why so many children suck their thumb until around then.

ChittyBang1987 · 12/10/2022 08:30

Sadly I have to say give lo Dummy back. Its their way of linking sleep cycles. That's how lo has done it for past 22 months and now has no way of self soothing to get into next sleep cycle so wants in your bed as they have exchanged the dummy to you.

Don't get me wrong you can do it at this age. But it's rough from what I heard, literally from what I read it's a combo of CC and removing the dummy to teach lo how to self soothe without dummy.

Can I ask why your getting rid of dummy please??

We have a dummy and she still has for the night and naps.

Maybe it's a little too early? Or another way cut tips of dummy off? Then it's not so desirable.

mumonthehill · 12/10/2022 08:36

At 2 we used the dummy fairy, ds only used his dummy at night. The fairy bought him a soft toy so that he could use that as his comforter. Your ds may just be too young to understand yet but I would give it a try and build it up so tell him this is what you are both going to do, that the fairy will bring a special gift to help him sleep, put it out together and then hope for the best!

RandomMess · 12/10/2022 10:00

I would invest in 2 identical soft toys and start heavily busing one at TV, cuddle, pushchair, bedtime. Basically introduce that as a comforter.

Then look at removing the dummy again when he is older and has better comprehension. You could try leaving them out for the reindeer in exchange for Christmas gifts.

Whereland · 12/10/2022 12:47

I'd also be very tempted to just give it back.. I know it might seem like all that crying was for nothing but for your sanity and while he's still quite little I'd give it back. I tried to remove it from my 2.5 year old and had a horrendous few nights. I just didn't have the energy with a newborn too so gave it back. Shortly after he turned 3 I explained we needed to give it to the tiny new babies in hospital who had no dummy. He bought into it and agreed, no crying like before.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 12/10/2022 12:50

What other comforters does he have? Removing dummy is something you need to build up to make sure he has something in its place that he finds comforting when you take the dummies.

LSSG · 12/10/2022 13:02

I agree give it back. They're not ideal, but given you introduced it, and he's so upset, I'd wait until he's old enough to be a bit more involved in the process of cutting it out.

Original poster

Blues1 · 12/10/2022 21:17

upsiedaisy49593 · 12/10/2022 06:53

Here to hand hold as we have just weaned our 21MO from hers for day times. It was a very tricky few days, but definitely worth it.

We give her it at night times still but for us that is still progress because she was way too attached to it during the day and had it all the time.

It might be that your little one still isn't ready to give it up at night time yet. We are planning to do the 'dummy fairy' thing for night time when she is old enough to understand xx

Hi,

Yeah we're going to let him go to bed without his dummy, he goes down without it no problem, it's when he wakes up in the night so maybe we reintroduce it then? Fingers crossed.

Thank you for your reply and good luck ☺️

OP posts:

allfurcoatnoknickers · 12/10/2022 21:23

@Blues1 Witches came and took DS's dummy right before Halloween last year. Some kind of protection racket so they wouldn't turn us into frogs and the Vampires and Ghosts wouldn't visit.

JustEatTheCake · 12/10/2022 21:27

I think your approach of letting him fall asleep without it but then give it when he wakes seems sensible. It is helping him realise he can fall asleep without it but when he wants it, it is there.

You can try again when he is a bit older. I think Ds was 3 when we removed his dummy however he had it in permanently as he had severe reflux and it was recommended bu the paediatrician as otherwise he could scar his oesophagus it was so bad. No mention at all from the dentist who saw him from his first tooth.

I think trying to just keep it for sleep and distract him if he asks for it during the daytime waking hours may be beneficial.

ThatsGoingToHurt · 12/10/2022 21:34

I would be tempted to give it back if it’s only for bedtime and you don’t replace the dummy yourself if it falls out.

My DS 2.4 decide to start biting his dummies and bit through 4 in a row so I decided not to replace but he’s done to bed fine ever since with no waking and screaming. He oviously wasn’t sucking it anymore just biting it!