I'm at a breaking point with my DD's sleep, I don't know what to do or how to change it anymore and I can't cope much longer with the sleep deprivation.
Since my girl was about 4.5 months we have had hourly/two hourly wake ups throughout the night. She has never slept through, and has never slept for longer than 4 hours at a time (and this has only happened a handful of times). I don't really know how she functions on such broken sleep, even now at nursery the most she sleeps is half an hour and on most days its only 15 mins all day!!!
She has CMPA, soy and egg allergies which have wreaked havoc on her sleep as she'd have horrendous stomach pain and wind. It took a while to be confirmed and so when we tried to sleep train her at 6 months we found it really tough as her cries were often due to discomfort. But I now find it incredibly hard to tell when she's crying at night purely because she wants comfort or for another reason. At the moment her wind is horrendous again - but nursery bugs have been brutal, we've had a month of constant illness and now three back teeth coming through. So the crying is particularly intense at the moment.
And that's the big problem - she doesn't just cry, she screams. She is hysterical and relentless. She gets in to such a state that she can choke and make herself sick. It's awful and I find it incredibly triggering. The only thing that stops her is having my boob in her mouth or, sometimes, being bounced and held to sleep. Although she won't do this with me, only DH.
We've tried cosleeping but it just doesn't work. She still screams hysterically and climbs all over me and DH. Usually writhing around and again won't settle until I've fed her - although it's purely comfort as she barely takes any milk. But by this point I'm so touched out that I can't bare her being on me which I feel so horrid saying. Plus she still wakes just as often.
I can't cope this way for much longer. I teach and I'm barely functioning in work. My relationship is suffering massively - my DH is amazing, so loving and does his fair share but I just am so exhausted that there's no intimacy, hardly any spare time for just us in the evenings and I'm so touched out I don't want to cuddle. I dread the night times, I leave work anxious for the night ahead which is so upsetting. Our house is turned upside down as we're both so burnt out and sleep deprived that it feels impossible to keep on top of it all.
I'm convinced there's something more going on with her, it just doesn't seem to be getting any better. I have no patience left, I want to scream along with her I'm so frustrated and upset. I feel such intense feelings of rage when it's bad - I would never do anything to act on those feelings but they're frightening nonetheless.
In the day my DD is gorgeous - a happy, smiling little girl who brings us joy. But at night it's like a switch flicks and she becomes a demon!! I'm just at the end of my tether and if you've made it to the end of this post then thank you!! I could write more but I think I'll stop my ramblings here as I can hear my sleep monster stirring on the monitor...!! ðŸ˜