NC just in case I get recognised on here :)
I’ve hired a sleep consultant and I thought it could be interesting to others to make a thread to keep track of things.
DD2 is 6m old. Big old baby, started weaning and eating well. EBF. Having started life as a good sleeper, since the regression she has been waking 2-4 times a night to feed, and taking most of her milk at night. This has been tricky for me as she won’t feed around others during the day or if there is even the smallest noise or distraction, and then she makes up for it overnight. It’s especially hard when DD1 is around as I feel like I’m constantly rejecting her and trying to keep her away from feeding DD2. More so than the broken sleep, managing feeding during the day has been what has pushed me to go for it with the sleep consultant.
The sleep consultant told me that once a baby is over 7kg they don’t (physiologically) need night feeds, although not feeding DD at night would be very hard on both of us as she is getting most of her calories at night. She said that ultimately DD is waking for feeds and is used to milk overnight, so we need to cut the night feeds. Her advice was to reduce all the feeds at once, and then cut them all at once. She said that it’s more consistent to do it this way rather than one at a time.
She told me that we don’t need a really rigid routine and as long as the wake window before bedtime is okay not to worry too much about naps etc, which I’m really happy with. DD isn’t in a strict routine but she naps well, self settles in the cot for longer naps or sleeps on the go, and is awake 3.5-4h before bed.
The Plan:
DD is able to settle by herself for naps but struggles at bedtime unless I sit with her, so the initial plan was to sit with her while she falls asleep.
At wake ups, try to settle her in bed for ten minutes unless she is really distressed and wants a feed. If I feed her, it’s for a maximum of five minutes on one side, then she goes back in the cot awake and I settle her with my voice/stroking etc.
Night one:
Bedtime was okay, settled with me next to her by 7.30. Woke at 11. Quickly realised she wasn’t going back down so I fed her for five minutes and settled her in bed. She was easy to settle. She woke again at 2 and I was able to settle her in bed without a feed. It took nearly an hour(!) although she wasn’t ever really upset. She then skipped her usual 4am wake up and slept til 6.30.
She fed loads better in the day.
Night two:
Very similar to night one. She woke at 10 and I fed her but she took less milk and only fed for 4 minutes before she nearly fell asleep, so I settled her again in bed. Woke at 2am again and fell asleep again just before 3. She was a little frustrated trying to go to sleep but calmer than the night before. Slept til 7am.
Feeding in the day was great. Even fed well while we were out which hasn’t happened in ages. Feeling so much more positive about feeding.
Night three:
She fell asleep with me pottering in her room, reassuring her with my voice. Woke at 10 for her feed but hardly took any milk - I didn’t feel a let down. She still seemed to really want that ritual of feeding though. I think it would have been tough to settle her without it. She then slept until 4.30(!) before she woke up. She didn’t seem to want a feed so even though I thought I could get her back to sleep with a feed, I held out. I really want the good feeding in the daytime to continue and this is a big motivator for me. Obviously it took a lot longer to get her back to sleep and I rocked her back to sleep by 6am and I woke her for the day at 8am. Feeling tired today!!
I spoke to the sleep consultant again today and the plan is shifting now that the night feeds have reduced so much. Time to cut them altogether now.
The New Plan:
She has advised that I pop in and out at bedtime while she settles to sleep, to signal a change in the nighttime routine, and to do the same when she wakes in the night. Very frequent check ins with a maximum of two minutes out of the room, and I can reassure with my voice from the corridor if I need to. She said that if DD doesn’t seem like she will be able to settle after 20 minutes or so, to return to settling her by her cot. We agreed that at 4.30 it might be that she needs rocking back to sleep, but unless she is very distressed to give her the chance to go back over by herself.
Sleep consultant seemed optimistic that once the expectation of feeding is broken, she will wake a lot less. We will see! If anyone is interested I will update tomorrow :)