3 month old has never slept - help! On my knees!

[CluelessMum87]

Everything I read about infant sleep for 3 month olds says “your baby should be sleeping 4-6 hours now”. My LO has never slept more than 2 hours and there’s normally only one of those stretches per night. The rest of the night is either 1.5 hours, 1 hour or 30 minutes. He’s EBF and I always feed him when he wakes up - a habit I’m starting to regret although I obviously want to feed on demand if he’s hungry. We cosleep so that I can at least doze during lying down feeds but I’m not enjoying it as I get so uncomfortable. Sometimes he takes a decent feed upon waking, other times he just comfort nurses himself back to sleep. I’ve tried keeping him awake to make sure he takes a decent feed in the hope it’ll make him last longer but that only sometimes works and still only 2 hours.

We do bedtime around 8.30pm (give or take depending on last nap - which means me too due to cosleeping) and we always do bath, feed, white noise, sleeping bag etc.

He has some silent reflux symptoms but I don’t know how severe. We’ve not medicated yet though. I’ve also tried cutting dairy for 2 weeks and caffeine but with no impact. He is also very gassy.

He’s always been a nap resister too but when we discovered the sling, we would religiously put him in it as soon as he started showing sleepy cues at around 1.5 hours to try and prevent overtiredness. However in the last week, he’s really started to resist naps too and where he used to nap 1-2 hours, he now wakes after 25-40 minutes.

I can’t help but feel there’s something wrong or abnormal and I’m on my knees with exhaustion. I’m considering a bottle of formula before bed out of desperation but I’m a bit worried it might make reflux symptoms worse but I need to do something!

Any advice or solidity pleeeease welcome!

My baby was the same. Didn't nap at all after a year and didn't sleep through until she was 8. No advice I'm afraid as I tried everything. The only time she slept properly was when we were abroad! I think it was from swimming and the heat!

My baby was the same for a few months then he started to wake every 4 hours at around your child's age, then it gradually got longer and he then slept through from 7-7 at around 7/8 months. We now have him sleeping through reliably and I credit white noise and a routine (always bath, bottle/boob and bed with a big cuddle first). He cried at times for under 20 seconds and then was asleep pretty much as soon as we closed the door. Having said that, every child is different but if you notice sleep preferences, utilise them. And just know that it will end and you will sleep again. You'll also miss those times because you didn't make the most of it because of how relentless it can be. Good luck Mama. You're the best mum in the world to your child. You're going to have great days again soon!

So my 3mo does manage longer stretches than you describe but his sleep has gone a bit haywire over the last week.

Damn it posted too soon.

Do you follow wonder weeks? I hadn't followed it but DS's behaviour made me curious and sure enough he is bang in the middle of fussy phase of leap 3. Might be a comfort to be aware of his leaps if you are interested. (I know some people don't believe in the theory but it's always been spot on for my two DC).

Do you burp him after a feed? I find if I can't get a burp out DS, I can be sure he'll be awake again within an hour. Trade off between sleep now, trouble later or persist with burping and hope for a longer sleep.

Changing nursing position may help. I only feed in cradle hold as I find side lying painful. It might mean you can't rest during the feed but perhaps a new position migh settle his reflux/wind symptoms?

I hope it improves soon.

Everything I read about infant sleep for 3 month olds says “your baby should be sleeping 4-6 hours now”

This here, bin it right now. There is no 'should' about infant sleep. All this creates is anxiety. All babies are different, have different sleep needs and different tactile needs. As soon as you let go of the 'shoulds' and try to work with your baby's needs and adapt yourself around it, everything will get a little easier. The poor sleep sucks, my 5 month old has been up every 20min - 1.5 hours ever since he hit the 4 month regression 7 weeks ago and it's horrible. The only thing that comforts me is reminding myself that they all sleep eventually! Outside of optimising the sleep environment (full belly, cool dark room, white noise, temperature appropriate sleepwear) there's not much else I can do but cuddle him and pray that he's almost done with the physical sleep maturation. In the mean time I've agreed with my husband that I will handle the night wakings until around 4am and then he takes over with a bottle of expressed milk and lets me sleep in. And that's really not so much an agreement we came to, but what the baby told us needs to happen, as before early morning he will just scream at dad and only accepts me to resettle him.

Mine was the same. I EBF for 4 months but as soon as I started him on bottles it all changed and he slept. In my case it was genuine hunger.

@Yack02 I do worry it’s the same with my LO as he doesn’t tend to feed well during the day as he’s always been easily distracted. Did you combi feed or go fully formula? Formula before bed is my last bit of hope for things changing although I did want to EBF for at least 6 months but I’m desperate now!

My 2nd didn't sleep more than 2 hours until he was 5 months.

But at around 6 months it went to waking twice a night briefly. At the time, it felt like forever and I was like a walking zombie. I did some ridiculous things and couldn't remember a thing.

But the best advice I can give is, it won't last forever. It will get better.

He is 7 now and sleep well but still less than the whole of the rest of the family! But he gets up early and goes down alone and never wakes at night.

Hang in there.

If there is a chance he has reflux, make trying medication a priority with the GP. We tried the usual stuff with my first but ended up on Omeprazole which was amazing.

Could be he is waking due to wind? You could try giving some gripe water before bed - helps to dispel the bubbles and bring up burps. There's also infacol but I didn't find that so effective. Also when he wakes in the night try to resettle without feeding first - bring him upright and wind him whilst walking around (soothing motion) and see if he nods off again. Or rest your hand on his chest when he stirs but before he wakes and see if you can get him to resettle.

If you can get a cot in next to your bed, try taking the side off and getting the cot mattress side by side with your mattress. Then when you settle him at night you can kind of roll him into the cot and he is on a separate mattress to you - you will then hopefully disturb each other less but you are still right next to him and can roll over and cuddle him etc.

If it is reflux (and could easily be) you can try some medication to thicken the milk in his stomach (eg. Infant Gaviscon) - speak to gp. Only downside is it can constipate them a little. Also try raising one end of the cot either by propping on books or placing a reflux wedge/towel under the mattress.

I found it all got easier when they started solids!!!! Sleep dep is horrendous though. Let's not forget it's a form of torture!!! Do everything you can to maximise sleep, including handing him to your partner while you get some sleep!!!! Good luck xxx