6MO won’t sleep unless he screams for 1 hour. Can’t cope anymore

[AlwaysAnnoyed]

My son struggled with a 4 month regression with waking every 30 minutes. but that seems to have resolved itself and he naps well. He naps 11-12 hours at night with one feed. I’m happy with this.

He is 6 months old.

The issue we have is not with the actual sleep. it's how he GOES to sleep.

We put him down for a nap or nighttime sleep and he will start to scream the MOMENT he is in the cot. No matter whether he is over tired, slightly tired or at the perfect time to begin a sleep. I have gone by wake windows, sleep ques, and just tried blagging it.

we have a nighttime routine. bath, bottle, book, bed.

but no matter what we do he STILL screams for 40-90 minutes.

we have tried(all for 2 weeks, some more)

• complete extinction method.
• we have tried 5 minute check ins.

• we have tried lying with him.

• we have tried picking him up untill he's settled & then putting him back down.

nothing & I mean NOTHING works. He's always been wonderful sleeper in car seat & pram, but recently he's started to cry as he's getting tired/falling asleep as well.

He loves his dummy, and he constantly pulls this out. We have tried removing the dummy, or going back in every time he pulls it out. He still screams.

Eventually after about 40-90 minutes of screaming he'll fall asleep, or we'll put the dummy in and he'll finally go off. I don’t know what to do to make it better!! Screaming doesn’t bother me ONE BIT. It’s just the fact it’s not getting better. If each time we put him down and used a method and gradually the screaming got less… I’d be fine. But it doesn’t. It doesn’t at all.

He’s waking at the same time EVERY night (3:53am) which makes me think he’s not even waking for food. The other night he pooed in his sleep and he got woken while we were changing him…. Now for the last 4 nights he’s woken at that time every night and won’t settle untill he’s had a bottle.

I’ve read so much online and it’s always people saying “by night 5 there was a difference” I’ve tried all those things minimum 2 weeks and NO difference. I just want to work on him going down PEACEFULLY without an hour meltdown/screaming match. & then I can work on the night wakings.

I can’t cope anymore. Need help.

What happens if you hold him, walk him up and down in the dark until he's asleep and wait ten mins to make sure he's sound asleep before putting him in his cot?

Six months is very very young still, it's normal for them to wake at night, and to need a feed at night. Baby sleep development isn't linear and there will be ups and downs. Please don't expect your baby to lay themselves down quietly for sleep at 7pm and not hear from them again until 7am, for most babies this is completely impossible. At six months it's fine to rock, shush, pace, bounce, or feed to sleep.

@wibblewobbleball yes I know. I don’t care about the wakes. It’s the getting to sleep crying for an hour no matter what I do.

Has he always done this? Or did you use to put him to sleep instead of expecting him to fall asleep on his own?
If it’s the latter, then there’s your answer. He probably just wants your help!
6 months old need to be fed at night so don’t assume he’s not hungry.

How many dummies does lo have in cot?

My lo is a lo odd in that way I think. She has to have a dummy in mouth plus at least one dummy to play with. We usually pop around 20 in cot. Her dummy at night time is like her safety and comfort to play with. I have often found her star shaped dummy in each hand and one in mouth

My DD did this. Although it wasn't a scream as such, more like a moaning cry. And it probably only lasted about 20 minutes. I eventually realised it was her way of letting off steam before going to sleep. And if I went in to settle her it just went on for longer, but if I left her she would fall asleep quicker.

Could it be reflux? Looking back I’m pretty sure DS1 had it as he screamed every time he was laid flat but my HV kept telling me that and the projectile vomiting were normal… It really wasn’t but I didn’t realise how much it wasn’t until I had DS2.

The screaming might not bother you but it's sure as fuck bothering your baby. All crying is communication, he's telling you he isn't ready to fall asleep by himself. So go in, pick him up, and put him to sleep.

Hi @AlwaysAnnoyed . I hear you. My 4mo will not go to sleep without a full on screaming fit every night. For us, it's not about trying to settle him on his own in the cot - we're still trying to settle him on us in a cuddle and only put him down when he's securely asleep. We have the bedtime routine etc and are really vigilant about sleepy cues to try and stop him being overtired. But however peaceful and dozey he starts out, he starts fighting it and then works himself up into an absolute frenzy for at least an hour before he finally just runs out of puff. No amount of soothing will help. I have no wise words to offer, but offering some solidarity with the nighttime screams. They suck.
And if anyone has any advice for this scenario, I'm all ears!

Hi, I couldn't read this and scroll on and I don't normally.post on here... But WOW. This could have been me a year ago... And at the time I was so desparate, so depressed, SO exhausted, hated and dreaded night time... And yet needed it so badly to relax for a few hours before hitting the sheets myself.

I don't have advice for you... I came to the conclusion after trying all you did and more....sleep agencies, music, soothing lights, singing.... That she was terrified of me leaving. So, for two weeks I just did whatever it took to get her to sleep without AS MUCH fuss as she had been causing, it goes completely against the grain and feels.likemyounare breaking the routine you have worked to put in place... I did her bath, and took her striaght down stairs and distracted her from our usual routine... Then I popped her in the car and went for a drive... After doing this for three weeks, she slowly started to moan less and the fear slowly went, I would.drive her to sleep and then transfer to her cot... Sometimes after that I used to pram if I sensed it wasn't going to work. But you need to remove the fear he has has of evenings.

They are so young, so emotionaly fragile and underdeveloped at this age... Don't worry about the fact you'll be doing it like that forver like I did... Just help him get out of this.

SO MUCH sympathy, it's rough.