Very early (and shouty) risings

[aeyaos]

Hello, we have a three year old who is a very early riser. He is usually awake between 5-5.30, but recently it has been more like 4.30. We have a stair gate on his bedroom door as we feel he is too young to roam the house on his own, and we also don’t want him to go into his sister’s room and wake her up.

The problem is that he shouts and shouts and shouts because he wants to come into our bed. I am not coping with the early starts (I also have an 8 month old), and I know that on occasion he has woken the house next door, which I know is unacceptable on our part.

How do I help him to stay quiet until a more acceptable hour, which at this point would be 6am? I feel as though we’ve tried everything. He has a gro clock which makes no difference. He just wants to come into our bed and watch one of our phones. We eventually do let him into our bed at 6am. I don’t want to get into the habit of him waking at 4.30 and coming into our bed.

In terms of the early risings, he doesn’t nap and goes to sleep between 6.30-7pm. I’ve tried consistently putting him to bed between 7.30-8pm for a week and it makes no difference.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, or others’ experiments on when this hell might end!!

I think his bedtime is maybe too early? And possible he is overtired and could still need a nap.

I know it sounds counterintuitive but I found this with my son too.

When he didn't nap I or didn't nap well we would instinctively put him to bed early as he was tired (round 6.30-7pm) and he was always up 5-5.30am.

Now we do 1.5 hour nap (your son is older maybe 1 hour) and 7.30 bed. He is asleep by 8 and doesn't wake now till 7am.

Is he old enough to understand a gro clock with promises of a treat?

You have my sympathies!

At the moment, his experience of this situation is that when he wakes up, if he shouts for long enough then eventually you will “give in” and he gets what he wants, ie to come into your bed. From your point of view, you are currently having to put up with the shouting for up to an hour and a half. I’m wondering about what else he could do when he wakes up? Keep getting up and saying quietly and firmly that it isn’t “time” and in the meantime he gets to do whatever the alternative thing is. Something with quiet music? At this age, role play with toys is often effective…so in this case it would be you pretending the favoured toy (teddy?) is shouting, reprimanding the toy and asking it to lie down again with the alternative thing, the toy not co-operating and you telling it off (gently) and asking your boy to show Teddy how it is done.

Also he can probably understand a basic concept like (say) a light on alarm device so you could teach him it’s not time for mummy’s bed till the orange light comes on the clock (or whatever) and when he shouts you can go to him and quietly reiterate this. Make sure there is a drink in his room (and a potty if appropriate)

Whatever technique you decide on it will take about a week to sink in, and will be bloody knackering for you. Remember you are not necessarily trying to get him to sleep again, just to entertain himself in his room without too much noise.