14 month old doesn't sleep through the night

[M24L]

Looking for some help or advice.
My 14 month old has been breastfed since birth always fed to sleep but has never slept through the night.

DD2 will go down around 9pm in her cot sleeps till between 12 & 2 then it's constant on and off breastfeeding until 6am during this time we co-sleep. DD1 was formula fed and slept amazingly from around 8 weeks old.

Lack of sleep is honestly starting to drain me. I've been back at work 3 months so DD has been going to a childminder throughout the day and she will settle down for sleeps with the childminder no problem. When were at home she looks to be fed to sleep.

I was hoping to stop BF at 1 but DD had a milk tolerance and wouldn't drink oat milk etc on its own so the only form of milk she would take was BM. We've now managed to work up the milk ladder and she is able to take cows milk so I'm wondering if introducing this at night would possibly help? She has never taken a bottle or a dummy so I'm a bit conscious of giving her a bottle, if this would help does anyone recommended any anti spill sippy cups etc she could have?

DH works away so I have no one to share the sleepless nights or to take turn to try and settle DD without being BF. I'm also currently pregnant with DC3 so could really be doing with being able to get some half decent sleep before DC3 comes along and night feeds start again.

The fact DD2 doesn't sleep puts me of BF DC3 and I worry that if I'm still BF DD2 I will never be able to sleep again 🤣. As it stands I would be doing night feeds for DC3 and in-between BF DD2.

Any help would be appreciated I'm just so exhausted and after currently being up and down since 12 tonight and sore breasts from the constant on and off I don't know how much more I can take.

Wow you are absolute super mum. Good on you. And pregnant with baby number three, honestly, hats off to you for handling all this.

If it was me, I would go with a cry it out. I would make dd1 share the room with you (if you have two bedrooms), and let dd2 (the bf baby) sleep alone in a crib in her own room. Make it out to both kids that this is really exciting. I can imagine it would be very tough for the first few nights, but she will adapt, children are incredibly adaptable. Send her to bed with a bottle, close the door.. see how it goes. If she wakes, let her cry for a good 15 mins before going in to soothe her. Don't pick up, tell her it's night time, and leave. If she gets too worked up, don't go in at all.

Also try the 'Baby Sleep Help - Respectful Learning and Training' page on Facebook. I've always found that a wonderful group for advice.

Good luck 🍀

This is why we e stopped at 2....

My 3.5 year old still doesn't sleep through, he's just got up (and has gone back to sleep) hence me being on MN.

I'm permanently exhausted. And I need to get up for work in an hour...

@hellyeahmamma thank you so much for your lovely words, I feel like mum on empty most of the time and sometimes question how I am able to actually function but I push through.

I've tried the cry it out a few times before and she literally crys and crys till the point she gets herself so upset that it takes a hell of a lot longer to settle her.

DD1 is 10 and could sleep through absolutely anything so no worries about her wakening up with DD2 crying. With DD2 if I say to her ok it's time to go to sleep she will lay her head down for a few minutes then sit back up laughing so she is aware that she needs to lay down in order to sleep but she's just very clingy. I feel that she eats plenty throughout the day with 3 full meals and snack during the day so I don't believe she's hungry I think she uses me as more of a comfort thing rather than for milk.

I also don't have Facebook, is there anywhere else I could read up on the baby sleep help training?

Thanks again 😊

@moleeye this was my reason for being on mumsnet at that ghastly hour also.

I feel your pain honestly, adding work in when you are exhausted is challenging. Sometimes I feel like my days just go by in a blur. Do you mind me asking if your 3.5 year old was/is BF?

If you can afford it Get a sleep consultant. They will give you a plan and support you implementing. It's not massively different to what the books say but paying the money and their support seems to really help us stick to it. Broadly it's separate rooms, and then when they wake, in to tell them you love them, outside again within 30 secs, wait 2 mins, in again, until they fall asleep. Can take a couple of hours over a couple of days, but has worked for all three of ours who had very different sleep and feeding patterns.

@M24L I bf him until 22 months as he was using me as a late night tuck shop and I was at breaking point. He was VERY unhappy about that.....But he's always been a dreadful sleeper.

We are down to only 1 waking though so at least that's something. I know he'll grow out of it and I'm clinging onto that glimmer of hope for dear life!!

It's tough isn't it, you have my sympathies! Luckily my DH does more than his fair share so I grab an extra 20 min catnap where I can to take the edge off.

@glassdarker I didn't even know there was such a thing, I will look in to this. Thank you 💞.

@moleeye see this is the thing that's putting me of BF DC3 I've heard so many people say BF babies don't sleep and I was naive and thought surley not all. But DD uses me the exact same during the night and as much as BF didn't hurt it really is starting to now, I'm not sure if I'm drying up or its the fact she's constantly stuck to me during the night but they nip 😪.

I keep saying ohh I will get a nap on my days off when DD1 is at school and DD2 takes her afternoon nap but then the time comes and there's always something else needing done like washings or tidying etc and part of me also feels like I'd be judged for going for a nap because DD2 is 1. When does the whole "nap when the baby naps" stop being acceptable 🤣.

You just got lucky with your first. It's nothing to do with FF or BF.