Almost 4 year old suddenly not sleeping

[Mazzatron]

He's always been an early riser and nap refuser but now he's waking up for long periods in the night and refusing to go back to sleep. He screams and shouts and wakes up the whole rest of the family. It's been going on a few weeks and I'm at my wits end. It started with a bad nightmare a few weeks ago and he does seem frightened. Obviously I do my best to calm him down, make him feel safe etc but I do try to get him to try to go back to sleep and stay in his bed which he gets really cross about.

I wish we could just let him into our bed and he'd go to sleep there but he twists and fidgets and talks and digs his feet into my back - it doesn't work for us.

There is nothing else new going on in his life, I'm not sure what's prompted this. He's quite a highly strung person and he's been pushing boundaries more again lately in general.
I suffered with PND / PNN since his baby bro was born 18 months ago and I've had it under control since spring but with this recent sleep deprivation I can feel it creeping back.

It's really hard and also really sad to see him like this. I guess I'm looking for solidarity and any ideas of what I could say / do to help him more in the moment. Trying my best but feel I'm not doing v well by him at the moment

I know you posted this a few weeks back… but I have just been searching mumsnet for anyone else also having this problem and I found your thread! Has it got any better?

Im in a similar position… hence this message at nearly 2am! My daughter is 4.5 years old and has suddenly started waking multiple times throughout the night despite being a great sleeper previously! I also have a 4 month old that I’m breastfeeding and he doesn’t sleep through yet either…. Nightmare!

we did have a talk to DD about waking up in the night and shouting and we actually put the old baby monitor we had back in her bedroom next to the bed. I explained to her that if she wakes up and is scared, she can just put the music on to sooth herself. This has actually worked so much better than I thought at stopping her from shouting me… but now I have the problem of the music waking me up every 2-3 hours. The music cycle is only 15 mins too so I can also tell how long it takes her to fall back to sleep and I find myself listening for it… so I seem to have created myself another problem.

tomorrow i might try to make her room a bit colder - I think I have spotted the warmer her room is, the more she wakes up… so that’s my next thing to try!

anyway, I have no great advice! But just wanted to say you are not alone :)

would love to hear if things have improved xx

Also you are doing a fab job! Only a mama who loves her kids and mares so much would be trying to find ways to help. Good job mama! Xxx

*cares so much

@TiredMama05 hi! Lovely to hear from you, thank you for your reply. Sorry you are going through this too!

Yes I would say things have improved (thank goodness). He still wakes most nights but goes back to bed a lot more calmly. I implemented a thing where I tell him I will check on him in 5 minutes (or however many he chooses) and usually after 3 checks he's back to sleep. I give him a big cuddle, make sure he doesn't need a wee etc then help him back to bed. Occasionally it takes longer.
Also we chatted a lot during the day about sleeping and staying in bed all night and did some 'sleepover' games with his toys, where we discuss the rules of the sleepover with the toys (no screaming and shouting because everyone needs to rest etc).
Also trying to make sure he's really tired by bedtime eg. done plenty of exercise / activity, fresh air. As best I can anyway.

For now, those things have helped.
I feel for you breast feeding with this going on. I think when I had a non sleeping 2.5 year old and a new born I nearly lost my mind. It's awful when you can't sleep for anticipating them waking up! Suffered that a lot. But I got through it and so will you. XXx

@TiredMama05 really hope things improve for you too. You are also doing a top job! X