8mo wont go back to sleep after 3am wake

[BonBons0]

From what I see there are a lot of posts about this sort of thing and a lot of mums struggle but my dd is just about to turn 8 months and for a past month or so has started not settling down in the night when she wakes up.
She goes to bed at about 7 (I feed her and then rock her for a bit - put her in her cot asleep) she then will wake up anywhere from 11-1 and I will do the same, feed and rock, then she will go down fine, then we get to the dreaded 3am (usually 3-4am) and I do the same thing but as soon as I put her in her cot fast asleep she wakes up and screams and screams until I pick her back up, when I do I rock her to sleep again and try to put her back in the cot and she just cries and cries. I have tried walking away and have left her for some time but she just screams and screams. It can sometimes take me a couple of hours of rocking and trying to put her back in the cot before she stays asleep or I end up bringing her into our bed and she falls asleep feeding.
She doesn't nap the best, she is very inquisitive and doesn't want to miss out on anything so I have to take her out in the car mostly to nap. Naps at home in the cot are hit and miss, she will need to be rocked to sleep and she just screams until she falls asleep in my arms. She has 2 or 3 naps, somewhere between 2-3 hours in total, maybe less on a bad day. But I find that no matter how much or little day sleep she has had, she is still as bad at night.
Anyone have any tips?

It's probably not what you want to hear but I would sleep train. Pick up put down or controlled crying (Ferber) might work well and give quick results. That will improve her napping too and you won't have to rock her to sleep when she wakes at night.

It's because at that time of the morning it's the lightest stage of sleep so she can feel you feel you putting her down a lot more easily! The options are either get her back to sleep without cuddling her or just cosleep from that 3am wake. I chose the second option personally but each to their own.

Oh OP. I had this exact thing with my son. It drove me to distraction. We did try a sleep consultant, who wasn't any use, and tried what seemed like everything (though we didn't try cosleeping - I don't know why not, really).

I wish I had some advice, but I don't. He just grew out of it. I just wanted to say it will pass! I remember how awful it was, so lots of sympathy, but hold on - you (and he!) will sleep again.

Sorry! - she. I still don't get any sleep, though now it's because of the second child.

Thank you all for your support. You have made me feel much less alone!
I'm really not comfortable with doing any cry it out sleep training so I think we are just going to ride the wave and just co sleep for the latter part of the night if she won't settle. I've had a bit of an epiphany today anyway that she is just a baby and will wake up in the night and I have decided to just stop fighting the 'at this age a baby can sleep through the night' nonsense XD.
Thank you all! Xx

Sounds similar to mine! I realised I had trained baby to only fall asleep with certain 'cues' which in our case was feeding to sleep. So when feeding to sleep didnt work (often in the early hours lol) we had nothing else in our arsenal and baby had no idea how to fall asleep himself, and cried out of tiredness and frustration. We did the most gentle sleep training imaginable and only for the first sleep of the night - I put him down awake and sat by the cot with baby until he fell asleep. If he got agitated I rubbed his belly and hair and soothed him. In the rare occasions he got really upset I picked him up and held him until he calmed down before putting him back down again. I just sat there and didn't engage otherwise other than to say 'bedtime now, let's go to sleep and play in the morning' or something generically soothing like that. It took 2 hours the first night but he never got really upset, just frustrated and moany. I think he went to sleep out of boredom in the end. It took probably 2 weeks altogether so it wasn't a quick fix like ferber but I was amazed that once he'd learned the 'skill' of falling asleep himself it applied throughout the night. Suddenly he began waking less and - unheard of before - falling back to sleep himself before I'd even got to him!! I still feed to sleep sometimes for convenience and comfort but it meant that if it doesn't work he can do it himself. I also never left him alone to cry which I don't think is a problem personally but was not right for me. I modified it from the no cry sleep solution book. Good luck OP x x x x also FWIW your post is far from the worst sleep story I've heard, in our group we had babies that age waking every hour still. Not sure if that's comforting or invalidating so ignore if it's not helpful lol

That's great to hear op. Going with flow is a lot better for stress!!