Unhappy baby - sleep related?

[StressedToTheMaxxx]

Hi,

I'm hoping one of you lovely Mums (or Dads!) can maybe offer me some advice.

I have a baby, she is 6 months old, who I am a single parent to. For perhaps the first 3 months of her life, she was an absolute dream, constantly happy, a great sleeper. She really only woke up once a night for a feed and quietly went back to sleep mid feed. She also napped on and off during the day. This was up until she was around 3 months old. From this point forward, she just screamed and whined and cried throughout the day, all day, every day. It's truly awful. I'm at the end of my tether, I've had to go on antidepressants as I'm just so overwhelmed with life at the moment. I just can't do this anymore, I sometimes lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes at a time and just sob and sob. The screaming and the nip nip nip of her constant whining is actually pushing me close to a breakdown. I'm not enjoying being a mum to her and actually resent her at times. I would never be bad to her but I have lost my temper and shouted a couple of times which I feel dreadful about. I'm even on the verge of tears writing this.

I don't know if the constant crying is because she is tired (I suspect it is) but she just won't sleep. I don't know why she wouldn't just sleep if she's tired, but she barely does during the day. I've had to put her into nursery one day per week as I'm at breaking point, I need the respite. Even they have commented on how little she sleeps. I'd say she gains around 9 hours sleep overnight (11pm ish - 7.30/8am) without wakening. These are her sleeping hours as she fights sleep so much at night, I have to have her in bed with me and cuddle her tight, otherwise she is rolling over, throwing her legs ans arms up in the air and just generally trying to keep herself awake. So I coincide her nighttime hours with mine.

I don't know how to get her to nap during the day. I don't know how we would do it as 1 she won't just be placed down and go to sleep and 2, she's so much hard work that I have signed up to so many baby classes, we do one every day and the odd additional free one ran at the library local church hall, just to get her out the house and occupied otherwise I'd definitely have a breakdown. She'll now and again have a short nap while out and about however there is no consistency to this.

I don't even know if it is tiredness that's making her like this, but I do know it needs to be addressed and dealt with as it isn't healthy for either of us. I really am struggling so much. I've even looked into hiring a sleep consultant to help us, but it's a lot of money especially when I don't know if it definitely is sleep related.

Does anybody have any tips or suggestions? On what it could be...or how to get her to nap at steady times throughout the day? Or anything that might help. I'm so weary.

Thank you.

Oh well done, even parenting a baby in a relationship is hard, you’re a freaking hero!

Would she contact nap? Mine is 5 months old and the only way I can get him to nap is in contact, so that might be in the carrier while I walk the dog, on the bed cosleeping and I’ll have a nap with him, or on the sofa on my chest. I’ve never been able to put him down for a nap, except on a few rare occasions in the pram. I also take mine out to groups and classes almost every day as he’s easier to deal with when we’re out and about and I then try to nap him as soon as we get back home.

She will contact nap @GinnyBee sometimes only after hours of bawling and screaming though. Basically when she decided she's had enough of the crying and falls asleep. I've signed up to an app called Huckleberry, which is apparently good according to MN reviews, so I'm hoping I can use that and it will help us. Otherwise I'm bringing in the big guns and hiring a sleep consultant!

Yes I’ve been using Huckleberry for about a week now and the nap times they suggest seem to work! We used to just wing it and start getting him down for naps when he was showing sleepy cues but I think that pushed him too far past the actual ideal nap time and whilst it was rarely a nightmare getting him to sleep since I only contact nap, this week has been way easier anyway. But it could also be that he’s getting past the worst of the sleep progression now too and getting over a stuffy nose, so I can’t give full credit to the app, there’s too many things going on. Hope you have success with it!

God OP you must be on your knees , my terrible sleeper nearly killed me and I had a supportive partner. You'll look back at this and be amazed with yourself.

My bad sleeper would have contact napped, or napped in the car, so that's what we did. I used to be dancing around the living room with her in the carrier, trying to rock her off to sleep with Mad Men on. Once they hit about 6 months both of mine needed it to be dark and quiet for naps, so give that a go if you haven't.

Do whatever is necessary to get her some sleep during the day, I imagine once she's getting more she will be happier in general. But, also consider whether you think there's anything else going on - if she was easy for the first few months I doubt it's reflux or allergies but if you do think there's anything else going on you might have to be quite insistent with the GP.