i would appreciate any advice at all and want to hear others experiences. I’m at the end of my rope :(
my ds is 7 months old and we are having major sleep issues which is leaving my relationship and mental health in tatters.
from day 1 I have been dead set on ds sleep routine: daytime naps, sleeping in his next to me crib and NOT co-sleeping etc. and up until about 6 weeks ago ds was brilliant, he would go to bed at 8pm and sleep straight through till morning most nights. Teething threw a spanner in the works but I still tried my absolute best to make sure he always goes back to sleep in his next to me after I’d settled him, even though he would settle better and get back to sleep quicker in our bed.
the last 6 weeks have been hell … he now refuses naps during the day even though he is shattered, he will scream and cry for an hour at a time, thrash about in my arms or when I try to lie him down. At night his bed time is getting later and later as he wakes up soon as I put him in the next to me. He only settles if I pick him up again and cuddle him. I tried leaving him to cry it out (resulted in me crying too) his Ewan dream sheep which he usually loves. Nothing works he just wants to either be next to me in my bed or in my arms. This goes on all night with maybe half an hour intervals of ds falling asleep, then he wakes up again as I’m drifting off. I’m knackered and I can’t carry on like this any longer. I still have to get up and look after him during the day. Had a huge row with dp at 2am this morning, I begged him to just get up with ds and settle him so I could try and get some sleep. He point blank refuses to get up with him during the night, he says it’s my job as I’m on maternity leave and he still has to work. Which I understand because I’m not back at work yet but I still have to be on form the day after with hardly any sleep. With dp being off work this week I (wrongly) assumed he would help me more at night time. But he refuses. What really winds me up is that at weekend when DSS (7) is here, he literally does everything he wants, gets in bed with him when he wakes us up during the night, gets him drinks during the night etc. never says no. But when I ask for help with our ds during the night he refuses. He hasn’t got up during the night with ds since he was 8 weeks old. He then started saying it was my job to do that. So all through the teething stage so far and all other problems we’ve had with ds sleep, I’ve done it on my own and it’s killing me now.
so at 2am this morning after a row, I kicked dp out of our bedroom into the spare room and let ds sleep in my bed…he slept straight through till 8am. I feel like a failure. I feel like all the hard work I put in in the newborn days has been undone and I’ve done the one thing i swore I’d never do :( I’ve opened up a bad habit.
aibu to want dp to help me even if it’s just one night a week???